depressed americans?

Question

I am a depressed american. I was wondering what non-americans do that makes their life enjoyable. I have not been happy with the way people live to work and it seems to get worse. My spouse works in accounting and I never see him and I miss him. I had worked as a teacher and had noticed that the environment was very hostile and passive agressive. No one cared about the quality of things. Quality doesn't seem to matter. Feelings don't matter. No one has time for each other and this really bothers me. Health issues and mental well-being come last. People live like robots and I was curious if this is only an american problem or if it is global.

Answer 1

I also suffer from depression. My wife is European. They seem to have less depression there, although it is not unknown.

I think that there might be many reasons why Americans are so depressed, but here are a few thoughts:

We are told that we are all going to become rock stars, president, Bill Gates, etc. and then we are disappointed when that doesn't happen. Our expectations of life are too high. We are told that if we work hard and smart, we will suceed. The reverse of that though, is that if we don't succeed, we think it was because we were too lazy or too dumb when a lot of times it is just up to luck.

We are constantly afraid. Watch the news with a critical eye and see how many reports are telling us about potential disasters, murders waiting to kill us, diseases, etc.

We have no community. Most of the people that I grew up with have moved away. Europeans often have life-long friends.

We are told that life is supposed to be fair. It isn't.

Their is no social net to catch us, so we work like dogs because we have no economic security. Everyone is one step away from homelessness, because no one is really going to help you when you need it.

We have little concept of "Quality of Life". Employers don't think twice about asking you to work late or calling you at home. I had one employer who called me when I was sick and then was upset when I didn't call right back (sorry, but I was vomiting at the moment..) In Europe, 5 o'clock is quitting time.

Answer 2

I wouldn't say it was entirely global. Most people in the world are so busy just struggling to survive that they don't have the luxury of worrying about the quality of things. However, I do think it is a common phenomenon among the "developed" world, particularly in the west. So my theory is that we westerners have been sold the illusion that "things" will make us happy. And of course we need $$ to get those things so we have to focus on working as hard as possible, never mind whether the work is rewarding or not. Add that to the fact that our world has become so isolating - we all operate in our little bubbles and don't have the time or energy to try and establish meaningful connections, even, sometimes, within our own families. It's a recipe for depression. . As a Canadian, I can tell you it's not just happening in the U.S. Depressed Canadian, depressed Swedes, depressed Brits - we're all in it together. For me, the answer is to force myself to put something meaningful into my life. I don't want to be a robot. I REFUSE to be a robot. Sorry for the long answer. You hit a nerve...

Answer 3

Hi there. My name's Lori and I write for Gilbert Guide (we review senior living facilities). I just recently wrote a post that touched on this topic, and I was compelled to try to address your question. First, I'm going to quote myself, because I think this says a lot:

"The Declaration of Independence states that we all have certain inalienable rights, among which are “life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.” And yet, just a few centuries after the declaration was written, we seem to be a highly dissatisfied nation. According to Pew Research Center, only a third of adults in this country say they’re very happy. With the freedom to choose your own religion, political beliefs and life path, Americans must contend with the conundrum of their general discontent. Although it can be hard to make the distinction, there’s a difference between unhappiness and depression."

So there it is. We live in a country in which we have the right to be happy, but many of us just don't have the capacity. In my personal opinion (not held by everyone at Gilbert Guide), it's difficult to ever be truly satisfied in a society so enmeshed in fear-driven consumerism. We're programmed early on to acquire more in order to be happier. But with an ever evolving lists of "basic needs," its hard to determine when we actually have enough.

I watched an episode of 20/20 once that was a special on Buthan, Tibet. There, they measure their country's success in GNH (gross national happiness) instead of GNP. They're a Buddhist society, and they aspire toward happiness as a national goal. I think it's pretty clear where we vary. Perhaps the key here is setting a personal goal, whether or not it's aligned with the nation's core values, to work toward happiness above all else.