Why do so many broken families exist?

Question

I sometimes wonder how so many families turn out so screwed up. I was talking with a friend who basically spilled his guts to me about how little he cared for his family and how terrible most of his family was. His mother seems to have been the only decent one in the family..father was a complete @$$hole the whole time he was growing up, brother is completely selfish/blamed his poor mother for everything bad that happened in his life/didn't even go to his mother's funeral. His sisters don't bother to speak with him. The whole family is basically a mess...there is no love in this family. I've heard these sorts of stories from countless other people as well. I know that there are some families that are extremely close and tight-knit...but it seems as though most of what I hear about and read is about sad, depressing family stories where siblings either hate each other or don't really care about each other...where children despise their parents (usually fathers). Thoughts?

Answer 1

A lot of this has to do with the culture that is in existence today -- the 'quick' fix -- the 'get it now' greed ... and no sense of caring for others ...

My siblings and I are very close ... and have remained so all of our lives (even though we did have Military Service Careers and were separated by Continents at times) ...

However, there is a LOT more choice nowadays -- and women (including me) are CHOOSING not to DIE at the hands of our 'so-called spouse' -- Divorce is NOT an option in this case -- it is a LIFE SAVING EVENT ...

But their peers -- ah, the peers of the children that you raise -- as a single parent you show them the way .. however, there are so many growing up with dads that run-off or abuse them (and they turn on their single moms and become the 2nd generation to abuse her) ... you are threatened (with arrest) if you try to teach your child respect for you as a parent ... Then there is the Video Games/TV/Movies (all desensitizing the very young to abuse, violence, and death -- so much so that they have no conscience to tell them that this is VERY WRONG) ... being PC is taken OVERBOARD ...

Answer 2

Growing up in the 50's, domestic violence was kept quiet. Alcohol wasn't viewed like it is today(very acceptable then) The husband if alcoholic and abusive could wreek havoc on his family. Try living in fear everyday of your life, never knowing what to expect, never being able to rely on anyone for anything. You didn't know whether you'd get to eat dinner or whether your dad would throw the dishes across the room cause he didn't like the fork touching the napkin. Maybe you were molested by a family member and if you told a parent, they didn't believe you. Maybe one of your siblings was picked on by a parent and beaten more than the others. Forty years later, both parents are dead, some siblings drink, gamble, commit suicide. Gee unless you're getting great therapy after all this time, of course your life is a mess.

Answer 3

In our quest for equality between man and woman,we lost the basic ingredients necessary for a proper family to exist.First of all,man and woman are equal,bu not the same,the minute we decided that the first teacher,which is the mother,could go to work and leave the proper teaching and nuturing to a business called child care,we lost majorly.Then all of a sudden,woman can physicaly do everything a man could do,that began to breed animosity between male and female,leaving the kids in outerspace while the mother and father compete against each other for dominance in finances,posistion and everything else.thus bring satan plan to another level of maturity,the divide and conquer us all theory.Just think back to when we were in good shape as families,and it will be plain to see why the family is in total chaos right now.I am thankful that my wife and I still employ some of the old school teaching and practices which keep our family in a semi normal situation,praise be to the creator.

Answer 4

When you say, "there is no love in this family" you put your finger on it.

Many people today don't seem to know what "love" is. Of course our one word can mean many things and is often used to use the "lowest" meaning.

The Greeks have four basic words for love.

The "highest" form is agape, which means a sacrificial love. This love is a giving love which doesn't demand any return for its sacrifice for the other..

The next for is philos, which means a friendship...enjoying being with someone type of love.

The next is eros, which is a sexual love.

The next is sorge, which is a type of connection just because you are family with others.

In the modern world the most sought is eros with a dash of philos. But these last only as long as a person is pleased with what they are getting.

Marriage and family, to be worthwile ,need to have agape as the basis. But is costs the giver and most are not will ing to pay:

Agape Love: (the original Greek of this Bible verse uses "agape")

1 Cor 13:4-7

4 Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.
(from New International Version)

This is the kind of love God has for us.

Answer 5

We have become a throw away society , so when we aren't happy don't try to work together to fix problems . Just go get a new family .
When the family unit goes to the dogs soon after the society will .

Answer 6

it truly is unhappy yet authentic! relations values have lengthy gone completely by the wayside. Marraiges dont very last anymore i imagine because human beings do not favor to ought to artwork at them anymore. If circumstances get complicated and all...then they imagine it truly is a lot less annoying to in problem-free words provide up than artwork at it. Now days, divorces are too basic to get! seem at each and each and every of the artwork it takes to get married, why no longer make it even harder to interrupt up! I too comprehend those who're in all those households, and it truly is unhappy to be certain becasue now as adults they're finest those similar lives because it replaced into at the same time as they were a baby. dad and mom purely favor to comprehend no longer in problem-free words is it affecting them, even with the undeniable fact that it truly is hurting their youthful ones too and they see each and every thing and study plenty from their dad and mom! i visit claim fortuitously that I grew up in a good knit relations and we are nevertheless to good away very close. I call my dad and mom atleast 2-3 circumstances a week from time to time purely to say hi. I seek for suggestion from from my brothers particularly usually too! i visit claim that i'm happy to go back from a radical relations and function discovered that in a relationship it does take artwork and that no longer something comes basic.

Answer 7

That sucks, I have an extremley close family, however for my children, well it's broken, although we do the best we can in the area of joint parenting.

The reason is that people don't take marriage seriously enough. It is far to easy to grab a quicky divorce.

Answer 8

Good question....I think they have always existed but now people are less ashamed to admit their childhood/family is so screwed up. We are in a confessional culture and share our personal dirt. So sad, all the pain of living.

Answer 9

It used to be scandalous and socially unacceptable to have premarital sex and get pregnant out of wedlock. Now, the pendulum has swung so far the other way. Not only do most people not wait until marriage, but they don't even wait until they've been together for awhile and truly know each other. They'll sleep together when they've only been dating for a month, and then oops...the girl gets pregnant and only after she's pregnant do they realize that things aren't going to work out between the two of them. Divorce is also way more acceptable than it used to be. Which can be a good thing, because nobody should be forced to stay in a truly unhappy or abusive marriage, but again, with the way our society is now, some people get a divorce without even trying to work things out first.

Answer 10

because u exist