I recently separated from my husband whom cheated on me a couple months ago ( I just found out). In the mean time his best friend, my best friends boyfriend approached me in regards to dreaming about me and knowing how unhappy and lonely I have been for years and how he would never let me be lonely blah blah. (I was planning on leaving my husband prior to finding out about his affair.-by about a month)
We have known eachother for about 5-6 years and again, we are all best friends and really close.
Needless to say I acted on his invitation. I think we have fallen in love, and he is planning to leave after the holiday. I have moved out of my home and relationship but he still has to sneak around. I have told him that I have to tell the truth to anyone and everyone if they ask and that I can not lie to anyone anymore. I told him I want to stay away from him and his family so that they can work it out and find happiness, but he keeps calling and coming to my home. I love the guy, but..
2006-12-13 08:18:17 · 31 answers · asked by daisylou 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I told my best friend we had feelings for eachother and that I wanted to stay away from her so that I never had the opportunity to hurt her again. I have not had sex with him since the one time and yes it was wrong. I am trying to get advice on how to get him to stay away. Don't bother leaving crappy advice. If you need to vent, go to hate.com
2006-12-13 09:07:53 · update #1
first of all your best friend "s boyfriend came on to you at a time when you were vulnerable. and you not seeing straight, slept with your bestfriend"s boyfriend because he had a dream that you were unhappy and lonely for years( which just so happened in" real" life). also that he would never leave you lonely(except when he goes home to your best friend).how can you say we fallen in love? it is called falling in lust, especially since he seems to be involved with your bestfriend? wake up from your dream and get into real life.: he is not going to leave his girlfriend/ your best friend or his family. you will still be unhappy and lonely and with out your best friend. walk away from your best boyfriend/lover and your best friend because you aren't even bestfriend material.
2006-12-13 08:39:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
But what?! You did this! I'm sorry, I know you went through a hard time, you were lonely & vulnerable...BUT come on! I could sit here, & tell you what you want to hear, but that's not the right thing. You have helped to break up a family, & now you want to walk away to "let them find happiness" like nothing happened. Too late! Now he wants to be with YOU, not his wife & children. Why? Why him? There are a million men out there & you let a story about a dream drive you to sleeping with your "best friend's" man?! You put yourself in a terrible situation that is going to get worse, & spread pain to people you were supposed to care for. I can't help you now; no one can.
Not venting...just being honest! There is no "good advice"; it's way too late for that obviously. Unless you want to cause more pain, & get a restaining order. There you go, there's your answer.
2006-12-13 16:27:54 · answer #2 · answered by pr1ncezz 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds Jerry Springerish & I think you will lose your Best friend the grass is not always greener on the otherside. I would not GO THERE what goes around will come back around again. Plus Men/Women come and go but Friendships can & will last forever unless you do something hurtful & disrespectful to #uck the friendship up. Which relationship is most important to you and the choice is yours alone to make because you will be the one to benifit and/or suffer the consequences
2006-12-13 16:27:17 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your guy friend did a horrible disservice to you and your friend by confiding his "feelings" while you were most vulnerable. You did a horrible disservice to your friend and yourself by falling for his line. He may love you, only he knows for sure, but if he valued you he would not have put you in the situation in the first place. You are headed down a dead end street. If he truly wants to be with you he will back off until after he has severed ties with his current relationship. If he still stays after Christmas, write him off to a bad choice and learning experience. Unfortunately you lose your friend either way.
2006-12-13 16:43:22 · answer #4 · answered by T 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Okay why in the world would you get involve with your best friend boyfriend. What kind of friend are you? You are just as bad as your ex. If he's has to sneak then he really doesn't want to be with you. Because honey if he really wanted you he would be out in the open. Let him and his family work it out and stop accepted his calls and opening the door to him.
2006-12-13 16:27:54 · answer #5 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell him to stay away from you until he decides what he wants to do. Change your phone number to an unlisted number; don't answer the door if he comes over (threaten to call the police if he don't leave and then follow through). He'll eventually get the idea.
You move on with your own life. Hey, here's an idea, get a big muscular boyfriend and the other guy will get the idea fast.
2006-12-13 16:24:59 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 2⤋
if you keep listening to what lies deep in your heart you will find your answer.you say you love the guy but.. if the but part is bigger than the love part it will not work.but if your love for him is bigger than the but part it should work but there are no guarantees,this is the best answer i can give i pour my heart out to you in your sorrow and confusion.but what you have said took more courage to say than most people possess you sound like a lovely sweet person and remember i am routing for you and just do the best you can under these difficult situations and decisions that you have to make.
2006-12-13 16:33:29 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Are you kidding me? what do you think hes gonna do if you two ever get married? Oh he changed he aint the same guy anymore, bullsnot!!! once a cheater always a cheater, give him the boot and find some one new!
2006-12-13 16:25:02 · answer #8 · answered by hotmoma_37 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is drama.......
You got a clean slate to start over....your hubby wasn't faithful and bingo...you fall into the trap as him.
I think I would think twice on what you are doing with your best friends.......
He was wrong.....married or not...in a relationship....again we are going back to step one....if he cheated on her...would he do it to you.
Just a thought....
I would think a lot about yourself....over the holidays and know that you deserve better.......
Best wishes
2006-12-13 16:26:55 · answer #9 · answered by travelingirl005 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like another episode of Dr. Phil. Stay tuned folks.
2006-12-13 16:32:18 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋