Is anyone like me?

Question

Does anyone else wonder how they are going to make Christmas happen for their child? Does anyone wonder if their paycheck will be enough to buy groceries AND pay bills? I was just wondering if I'm the only one. I know it must be hard on single parents. I'm married, but jeeze, you would think it would be easier. It's not like I live in some big fancy house and drive a brand new car. I'm lucky if the truck I have will get me from point A to point B. It needs tires. I'm just tired of the rat race. I can't be the only one like this. It seems like companies should give their employees extra money during this month. I guess that would be called a "bonus". Not all companies give those. Anyway, I was just wondering if anybody else faces these same obstacles like me.

I know I should look on the bright side and think that things could be worse, but you just get tired of doing that. You wonder when it's going to get better.

Answer 1

I am not there now, but I was for about 6 years. We were young, going to school/working, little kids etc. It's just life most of us go through it. I know what it's like to scrounge through the house looking for change to go get a gallon of gas.

I don't know how old you are or what you do. If you are like we were, understand that there is an upward trend coming as you get older.

If you have been in this rut for decades you might want to take a real good look at how you live your life. I am never impressed by people who complain about no money for food but always have beer and cigarettes.

You are not the only one, but really - is it that bad? Is there anything YOU can do to change your life for the better? There probably is.

Answer 2

Yep, there's a lot in your boat! Each case is different and there's usually some controllable factors that we can change. As far as affording gifts either you don't make enough money and should explore other career options, you spend too much and should examine your cash outlays and see where your money goes, you are in debt and should get debt counseling and reduce the amount you spend each month while developing a savings plan to get out from where you are. Other issues are those around you, your friends, family, spouses friends and family, spouse...each can be financially draining with loans and bad spending habits.
The road out of the place we are in is to have a plan. I just got debt consolidated to one payment and ends the annoying collections calls. I can't right now, but I would easilly get a second job at night to create extra income and get out of debt faster. It's like giving yourself a raise when you lower your debt.
The bottom line is it's not easy, there's no miracle cure and it takes work ehtic. You can't wish your problems away and worrying about them everyday won't help either. If you want to change where you're headed then change what you do today, and the sooner the better. Find strong people in your life and discuss with them ideas, ask those smarter than you for advice, and if you don't have any people like that, then find people like that. There are forums and groups online that can help you out.

Answer 3

No hon, you are not the only one to go through this..I have been w/ my husband for 8 years we have 4 kids all together he had 2 boys i had a girl, and then we had one together. He did steel work for 16 years. He would bring home about 500 every 2 wks. we had to squeak out 375 for rent, plus electric, gas, phone, food, and the water bill. We have never had the leisure of owning a nice car, they were always crappy cars. Then my husband got hurt and messed his back up really bad, he has degenerating discs in his back and would get stuck and couldnt stand up straight, so the doc told him he needed to get out of the steel and construction work. So we had a long talk and decided he needed to go get re-educated and go back to school, and he did, and i went to work, this was after we had done moved and got a bigger more expensive house that cost 645 a month and the time gas was going up and costing us 500 a month to heat the house plus the insurance on the house and the taxes..Well, things just got worse, because i didnt have the work experience my husband had to make what he made, so i only brought home 300 every 2 wks. and neither one of the kids' other parents pay child support, or help with the medical expenses..so needless to say that christmas my kids got 3 lousy presents a piece, which cost about 5 bucks a piece, We felt like worthless parents. We started with nothing, i mean nothing..Well the begining of our relationship we had nothing but hard times, 8 years later he graduated school, i stay home we still have a crappy car that was a 1986 cutlass, that just broke down so we have been takeing the bus..but we took a cheaper house, and this year my kids will finally have a decent christmas..I remember him and i walking around collecting cans on the side of the road to go cash in just to have money for food daily. So i look back to those days and look where we are now..I will say this my kids have learned alot of values and what christmas is really all about, I think they like the food more then the gifts..Remember this if you can last through this and your marriage last, then you will be able to handle anything. It is always nice to know that someone out there has been where you are, but sweetie i promise if you guys continue to try and not give up it will work out, it may take longer then you would like, but it will work out..I hope you guys have the christmas you wish for, and i hope you are able to give your kids what you want..Also you should look at it this way there is always somebody out there who is way worse off then you, and the kids who wont get 1 thing under their tree, infact they may not even have a tree, and that is when you realize hmmm maybe we are not as bad off as i feel we are..Have a good one!

Answer 4

Most of the world is pretty much in the same situation. Yes its hard as Hell just taking care of yourself let alone being a parent or a single parent. But just do the best you can thats what I do every year. This year is hard for a single mother of four like myself. However I asked my children to tell me three things that they really wanted, and told them Id do my best, but try having your birthday the day after Christmas (honestly I don't even bother celebrating it just knowing people acknowlege it is enough for me) but then I have two daughter born on December 28th and they are 8 years apart (one turning 7 and the other 15) do they want to share birthday parties? or corse not. In the process I just started my job so I get no bonuses and I cant even take vacation! Because my car broke down I am in the process of buying another car. Then I couldnt even take my class cause I couldnt afford to pay for it this month. So yeah I can relate Girlfriend, but stay strong and just do the best you can and try not to stress...I mean some people are homeless and doing much worst and thats what I tell my kids when they start whinning about what they didnt get and how life is unfair

Answer 5

You say you are struggling...so here are a few pointers on how to manage your finances just in case you aren't already doing these things. By doing the things on this list, I have change my life around from being in $10,000 debt to buying my first home and feeling good about it. Side note...this also saved my marriage!!

1. Do you know how much money is coming in every month? If you don't, then figure it out and write it down on paper. This is the most important step. If you don't know how much is coming in...then how can you know how much should go out?

2. Figure out all of your bills. Determine how much HAS to come out (ex. mortgage payment, car payments, etc)

2a. In addition to knowing what the amounts of these bills are, make sure you know the dates they are due. WRITE ALL OF THIS DOWN ON PAPER.

3. Now for one month...track all of your spending and I mean ALL of your spending. Use a check book ledger or a spreadsheet, whatever you feel like.

4. After that month, sit down and do a thorough evaluation of how you are spending your money. Did you spend $100 on starbucks? Once it is all on paper and in front of you, a picture of your spending habits begin to appear.
(I am embarrassed to admit that one month I spent 50 bucks on energy drinks!!)

What I found was that I was spending more than what was coming in and there were things in my life that I could cut out and I wouldn't have realized it had I not gone through this process.

The problem might not be that you don't make enough money, but that you don't know how you are spending it on a regular basis. I truely believe this works!!

I hope this helps and good luck this Christmas.

Answer 6

Yeap! It's not easy having a family, paying bills and trying to get gifts for the kids. But also teach them that the holidays are also A LOT more than just gifts, its about family, friendship and spending time together.

I have 3 kids and I know is not easy but never give up! Plan your budget well, be organized, have structure for the kids and try to save a little money every month and DO NOT touch it.

If you still need help, there is no shame in asking the government to help you, at least for a while.

javypeds

Answer 7

We don't have quite the same problem, but close. Just a couple months ago, I thought I'd be able to afford at least a few things for Christmas for my gf of 2+ years. Now, I'm HOPING to make it through this week.

I'm a student in college and my ONLY computer broke a few weeks ago. The only way I could do any homework was by driving to campus, and THEN my transmission went out on my car. So now I have no computer to do homework and no car to get to campus.

I still owe tuition for these classes and they are over now. I can't schedule more until I pay that off. I'm TOTALLY screwed. I'd need $10,000 just to be back at NOTHING. I need a new computer for school (ITECH major), I need a car to get to work and school, and I need money to pay for college.

I'm at a friends house right now finishing up a final paper.

And on top of all of that, I'm worried about getting at least SOMETHING for my gf for Christmas. I'm just doing my best to work at making our lives better, and I'm watching it all slip away.

Answer 8

This is normal but as I am sure you know it is not money that will give us true happyness. The love for your spouse and your children will always remain with you. Your kids will have a far greater memory of the wonderful home they grew up in than some toy they got sick of after a few weeks.

So go ahead and have your pity party.

You are not alone but are blessed.

Answer 9

theres tons of people just like you, but yet no one who is just like you- everyone feels their experiences differently- I know when it cant get worse it does, i had to just take it day by day, and one day (for the moment anyways) my luck changed, I am sure it will change back soon, but hey what can you do? except the best you can- as far as presents for kids go love will be enough- make some toys, and just spending time and doing things with your kids- that will make them happy- they don't need the fancies- ya know- if you ever need a friend please feel free to message me, just check out my 360 page- Good luck, and Merry Christmas

Answer 10

sure I think we all do, sometimes things are harder than others, im totally broke this xmas I have 2 small kids I just go to the dollar store and buy things, they seem to be happy just opening presents dont really care whats in them