I know the bible says that when a man and a woman come together as one, your spouse is supposed to be number one, well, after God. I ask this question because I feel my spouse puts her family (most especially her parents) first. Is it supposed to be this way? We are both Nigerian, but live in the states. However "her" parents want "us" to move back to Nigeria along with all her siblings. To be honest, Nigeria has nothing but ugly memories for me. I have nothing but a broken up family in Nigeria. A time might come where she is forced to choose, but from what I see, I feel she might choose to be with her parents. Is this supposed to be the order of priority?
2006-12-13 08:12:25 · 17 answers · asked by Blk Angel 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Religion aside, I believe your spouse should be your number one priority. You leave your family to make a family with your spouse. The family you have created together IS her family now- she made that decision when she chose to marry you. If Nigeria has ugly memories for you, then your wife should respect that and stay with you here in the states. If she were forced to choose, (which I can't believe any caring parent would ever make their child do) and chose to go back to Nigeria, then I'm afraid she never truly committed to your marriage in the first place. Back to the question, you have it correct- your spouse is your top priority. Making anything else you top priority is a recipe for the disaster of your marriage.
2006-12-13 08:19:55 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your mate is supposed to come second only to God, then your kids, then the rest. That is clearly explained in the Bible, not that your wife or her family or others may give two hoots about what the Bible says. Infact, most people only care about what they want and what will get them what they want, without making them feel like crap for wanting or getting it. It must also be said, many only care about what the Bible does say when it supports their view or want.
Both you and she have a responsibility to look at it logically, not simply emotionally. Of course, you will have a hard time getting her to do that if she is generally putting her parents first.
(But you also have to ask yourself if you give her real and valid reasons to get emotional needs met by her parents because of your actions or inactions. Simply a thought. It is also fair to say that she may just be a ***** who wants what she wants too.)
What you both have to conclude is would it be in the best interests of family (you, she, kids, not extended family.) to stay put or move. That is really all that needs decided.
2006-12-13 08:48:29 · answer #2 · answered by Mr. JW 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, the spouse should be higher priority. But wait a minute; your not wanting to re-locate, so she should honor your wishes and not choose her family over you.
It goes both ways. The only real answer is compromise and sit down and decide where the best future is for the both of you.
Good Luck.
PS: Life gets complicated after 18
2006-12-13 08:27:15 · answer #3 · answered by Wondrin Dude 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
God, Family, Country
2006-12-13 08:16:50 · answer #4 · answered by nowhere 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, your spouse is supposed to be number one. If your wife chooses her parents before you, without considering your feelings, she is basically not honoring her vows. If she wasn't ready to break away from Mommy and Daddy, she shouldn't have gotten married. Being an adult means being responsible for your new family first.
2006-12-13 08:52:15 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The bible says the women leaves her family and her and the man become one. So no more sucking her parents hind titty time for her to grow up and take care of her house and her home. If she was such a Mommy's baby she should have never gotten married.
2006-12-13 08:32:10 · answer #6 · answered by picture 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The only person/people to come before you spouse is your children. If you dont have any then your spouse is, without exception, number one
2006-12-13 08:33:19 · answer #7 · answered by hotmoma_37 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would say yes always.Except for when it comes to your children.No ones life or happiness should be more important to you than the life and happiness of the one or ones you created.Has for you wife.If she really cared she would choose to be with you were you want to be. Not were her parents want her to be.My mother in law harassed my husband to move back were they are from and to leave me if I refused to go.He loves his mom and has always been a bit of a mommas boy.I really thought he would leave me but he didn't he told her off instead.Good luck I hope everything works out for you.
2006-12-13 10:35:26 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your spouse is your #1 priority, end of question
2006-12-13 08:22:22 · answer #9 · answered by tannedknight45 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
God first then spouse and family first always.
2006-12-13 08:36:20 · answer #10 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋