Is my sex life in trouble? My husband has problems getting me to have an orgasm.?

Question

I just cant seem to get off i dont know whats wrong

Answer 1

Hi sweety. Most women won't orgasm until in their 30's because you have to really learn your body and have to be able to trust the guy.

Many times women have them and aren't positive if that is what it was. That is because they vary in intensity and stuff. To me, most of them feel like spasms . Ever have a twitching muscle? Actually they are a lot like contractions. They come in waves of rythmic spasms. Mine are usually like 7 - 10 spasms one after the other and each one brings with it some euphoria or seratonin realease that feels really good and sometimes I shake all over.

You need to masterbate until you get to where you can come easily. Then once you get there, try and hold them back for a few minutes to get better ones. Get the swan or the rabbit ears vibrator from adam and eve or something. Those with clit stimulators are awesome. the others aren't too good so save your money and buy a nice one.

Or buy a shower massage with a long hose (we had to buy the hose separate and change the one it came with) so it is long enough you can lie in the tub or sit on it's edge and use waterplay on yourself. If you need an excuse for it, you like to be able to rinse your hair while bathing.

My experience was that once I learned what I needed, I was trying to figure out how to relate this to someone else. I mean when you are rubbing your clit and it gets too intense you let up, but someone else doesn't know when to let up. They don't know when to rub more to the left etc. So, you have to tell the guy to really watch your face and nipples etc to see when what he is doing is working. Tell him you might guide him with your hand at times when you know what you want and need.

There were so many times before I learned this that I was soooo close but they would change their rythm and I lost it. So, the important thing to remember is... your body will tell you what it needs and when and you have to get it what it needs when it needs it. So if your body wants your clit pinched and he isn't doing it.. do it. If your clit need to arch up and push into his hand do it.

Answer 2

Sweetie, he's no longer a staggering and loving husband. he's egocentric, and he's a hundred% your situation. If he have been prepared to put in the attempt and time, you may quickly be popping them off. women folk take around 15-20 minutes to have an orgasm, and maximum women folk would be unable to do it witout direct clitoral stimulation. i'm no longer a super fan of vibrators, the two, yet whilst he won't provide help to, you're entitled to an orgasm some way. Ask him what proportion situations he'd be prepared to have intercourse with out climax. i'm thinking the respond could be 0. In essence, his strikes say your orgasms are not significant. the project isn't you.

Answer 3

A good partner will make sure you achieved orgasm before he does. So that tells me he either doesn't know what he is doing, or he doesn't care. If you communicate to him what you like, what things turn you on, and he still won't help you out, then you'll know he is only interested in his own pleasure. What the RN said about it is up to you to achieve your own orgasm is not true. A good lover will always see to your needs. However, that is not to say you shouldn't experiment with masturbation to find out what feels good to you and in that way be able to communicate better to your partner your needs. But doing it solo, is no fun at all. Good luck!

Answer 4

Well, first off, you need to stop relying on your husband to provide you with an orgasm. Having an orgasm is your job, not his. It could be you just need to stimulate yourself before intercourse, or masturbate when he is finished to get the orgasm you want, or even during intercourse. There are a number of ways for a woman to achieve orgasm, none of which are her partner's responsibility.

Answer 5

Some women just never experience an orgasm because they just cant. It's no ones fault, and there's nothing you can do about it. Sad, but true.

Answer 6

Only 30% of women orgasm during intercourse. The more you stress mentally the harder it is. You should try to relax, clear your mind, and breath.

Answer 7

Go to a book store and get a "how to" book on sex. You might learn something new for the both of you. : )

Answer 8

maybe your the one with the problem, that is, try comunicating in detail what pleases you. most men are not initially efficient in this area, and require guidence.

Answer 9

Honestly, help yerself out at the same time if you know what I am saying.

Answer 10

i have been married two months and i have the same exact problem. just don't tell him he isn't pleasing you, or you will hurt his feelings. i have learned to please myself, and let him watch. it makes him and i both happy.