I want someones advice. i have been with a guy for two years now and we share a child. My guy does not do anything much to help me out either financially or emotionally, he have cheated on me before and his ex girl comes to my house. He has three other kids with different women and at this point i just found out that i am pregnant and all he does is wait on me to come home from work so i can make dinner for him, i am so sick now and weak, should i leave him and have the baby and raise my kids by myself or have an abortion and still move on with my life? please some one help me.
2006-12-13 07:29:46 · 33 answers · asked by Lady 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave him, and consider adoption.
2006-12-13 07:31:18 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow. Whether to have an abortion or have the child is 100% up to you- no one else can make that decision for you (and don't let them!). From what you describe, you have a mate that uses you and you just might be better off on your own, but take into consideration all the pros and cons of leaving before you make the choice. You deserve to be happy and have someone in your life that will care for you and support you- and that means helping around the house etc. If you haven't married by now with a child and another on the way, odds are he won't be asking. Can you handle raising your children on your own? Do you have family nearby to help you out? Will he stay involved in the child's life if you leave? Are you happy? If not, you already have your answer. Don't stay out of fear or neediness. If you choose to stay, do it because it truly is the best choice to make. Take care.
2006-12-13 07:37:09 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should leave this guy that you are talking about. You might as well leave him if he's not going to help you anyway. Keep the baby. I mean, do you really want to have an abortion and practically kill you baby?? I don't know anybody who would want to have an abortion. There is a right guy for you in this world, just not him. So raise all of your kids on your own without the guy.
2006-12-13 07:33:37 · answer #3 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey-I would have an abortion and still leave him.
I have a child of my own and this is what Iwould do, as heartless as it sounds. I can tell by your style of typing that you are not that well educated (no offense) and it will be extremely hard for you even with one child. I really don't mean to hurt feelings here, but I'm being straight up with you.
Leave this man NOW...get some assistance from family if possible, or the State, start working and forget about him. Things will get better-but you need to act fast.
Good luck sweety-be strong
2006-12-13 08:10:50 · answer #4 · answered by T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hate to be so blunt about this, But if he hasnt changed after 2 years and has not grown up, then PLEASE do not waste anymore of your young life on this guy..He is just going to run you down and you will never get anything from him includeing any appreciation for haveing his babies and takeing care of him..TRUST ME! you have already used up 2 years of your life dont use up anymore..
Oh Yeah when you are leaveing he will appreciate you then, and say i will help you, but trust me, it is only to keep you there then it will go back to the same old thing...So GET OUT!!!
As for the abortion, that is something that is completely and totally up to you hon..I see nothing wrong with it, just do it early dont wait any longer, because then it could be too late and they wont be able to perform the procedure..It is already going to be hard with one let alone 2 you will definately not get child support from him..But trust me you can do it...women are going to school working and raising a kid on their own everyday.. If you need to talk e-mail me..
2006-12-13 09:21:21 · answer #5 · answered by laci 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This guy sounds like a real loser. He has zero respect for you and may end up being physically abusive, since he is already abusing you emotionally. He's also taking you for granted. You deserve better. You and he are setting a really bad example for your kids, showing them that it's OK to be abusive, normal to put up with it, and to be in a loveless marriage. Get out now while you still can, and have an abortion. The last thing you need is to have another child with him. Oh yeah, don't expect to get child support out of this guy; he's no doubt a dead-beat dad, too.
2006-12-13 09:04:59 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't condone abortion, but I've found that for some people, it has been their saving grace. YES LEAVE. The one thing you need to do to make sure your child has a happy life is to get out of a bad situation. I did that a year ago, after 7 years of hell, and I've had the best year of my life. Me and my 2 yr old daughter are very happy.
I found a better-paying job, moved to a different part of the city and all my family helped to rebuild my home. I get not one penny from him although he's ordered to pay it, but I'm doing just fine. Strength baby, is in you somehwere.
2006-12-13 07:37:03 · answer #7 · answered by mafarrar 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some people will say that they would never have an abortion but no one can say what they would do in any situation until they are in it.
so you need to make that choose for yourself,its something that right or wrong will never leave you,but that doesn't make it right or wrong
life isn't that easy as blk and wht
you have made another life and that life is what you need to focus on .it sounds like you are with this guy for your own needs not your childs. if i was to e mail you with this question what advise would you give me?
maybe you should ask your self the question and really listen to the truth.i think you prob have the awnser already you just haven't listened yet...
2006-12-13 07:44:36 · answer #8 · answered by fiona d 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well...you are in a mess....only you can make these decisions but think about how you are going to support yourself and two kids alone....chances of him providing much in the way of financial support with all his other obligations are not good.....also, he doesn't provide you with emotional support now so definately won't do that in the future...How long are you going to stay and be emotionally abused and neglected by this man....next he will be giving you an STD or HIV...what then??? Get some help and get out...what you decide about the baby is up to you but think about your options and go talk to a family planning counselor...good luck
2006-12-13 07:35:11 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Raising one child by yourself is hard enough, two is going to be even harder. But having an abortion, can be traumatic. This is a decision you have to make and quickly, the longer you wait the worse it will be. The part about leaving is a no brainer. Leave his sorry *** and let some other girl have that headache.
2006-12-13 07:37:24 · answer #10 · answered by Lovebug123 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, you definitely should leave this guy. He has nothing to offer. Period. If you feel okay with an abortion then get one or consider adoption. Lots of couples would love to adopt. Afterward, please use birth control everytime until you and your committed partner make the considered decision to have a baby. If you are actually putting up with this kind of behavior from a guy you are not ready to raise a child.
2006-12-13 08:02:05 · answer #11 · answered by kvcar2 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋