we are both divorced, i am 47, he is 50. We have been together for 8 years now ans I feel like if he doesn"t buy me a ring, that he doesn" t love me enough.
2006-12-13 07:10:22 · 22 answers · asked by weezie 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
What everyone is missing out is that you were both divorced. You have been together for 8yrs, there is undoubtably strong feelings and love behind that. The problem appears to be that he might be scared, you've been divorced you should know how he feels. Being married once is what most people experience in life, he might still be scared about ruining your relationship by putting a ring and contract to it.
you need to talk to him, you need to explain to him what you want. He might already know what you want but he might be unsure of what might happen
2006-12-13 08:13:23 · answer #1 · answered by I try 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you two have been together for 8 years as you said. Seems like a pretty good commitment right there. You are both divorced. The question you should be asking is what does marriage mean to you? Is a ring going to give you something from that you don't have already? It would also seem that you have to decide which is more important, the symbol - "ring" or the reality - 8 years in a realtionship
2006-12-13 07:36:29 · answer #2 · answered by b b 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My mom always told me that if a man loves you he will give you three things - a ring, a house and a baby. I don't know where that comes from and maybe it's just a "momism".
I am 41 and recently engaged. I don't feel a need to get married as I don't plan on having any more children and I earn a decent living, but I want to marry him for very emotional reasons. I know that we will be together whether we marry or not and having had a cheating husband before, I know that a ring doesn't guarantee fidelity, but I want his name and I would be very proud to be his wife.
You don't say what his marriage history is. Has he been burned badly before? Maybe that's why he's not anxious to get married. I would think that after eight years though, he would marry you if that's what you wanted. Obviously, you are going to be there for him, so maybe he doesn't see a practical need. Would you leave him if he didn't marry you?
Incidentally, I don't see why he hasn't bought you a ring. If he loved you and knew that you wanted one, he should have bought you one already - just to see you be happy.
God bless!
2006-12-13 07:41:51 · answer #3 · answered by Dovie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
At your age, you rather enjoy time together and doing things together to make your relationship grow stronger. Of course he loves you, he's with you for 8 years! What makes you think that a ring will prove that he loves you more? You probably got a ring too from your last marriage and it ended up in a divorce...so what significant does that ring have?
My point is, don't sweat the small stuff when you're already been together for 8 years and if he's not treating you bad in anyway, then it's all good.
2006-12-13 07:25:50 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
that is because of society wanting to label your relationship as straight, religiously minded, and boring. A ring sort of explains your situation. Maybe you should think about what makes you insecure in the relationship. sometimes these thoughts come to mind when were not sure about this person really. if eight years feels like a long time, it's time for a real vacation. Drop the expectations of him and just have fun, you both know what marriage does to a couple in love...just try to remember and move on!
2006-12-13 07:22:26 · answer #5 · answered by kikumatsu 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, marriage has nothing to do with love. I think it's funny when women leave men because they don't marry them within a certain time frame. This is called 'conditional love'. If you(not specifically you, just speaking generally) don't perform an action, I won't love you anymore. The best way to get a guy to not marry you, is to tell him you will leave him if he doesn't marry you. Then later, because your love is conditional, then you will want something else, and he doesn't provide it for you, you will threaten to leave him.
Although 8 years is a good amount of time. Let him know that you want to get married.
2006-12-13 07:26:01 · answer #6 · answered by Nep 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes of course he loves you. Especially after being with you for 8 years should tell you that. If I was with a man that long I think I would be ready for a ring too though. Has he asked you what you'd like for Christmas?
2006-12-13 07:26:50 · answer #7 · answered by autumn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yes he loves you even if he doesnt want to marry,, remember you both have been married, and it obviously left a bad taste in his mouth ( my mouth is horrid after two divorces) it isnt necessarioy the marriage, just the break up and lose of money etc...
he should buy you a ring just for love sakes, but with so many marriages ending in divorce,, I wont marry again,,, but I would buy my lady something nice if I loved her,,,
2006-12-13 07:17:42 · answer #8 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He loves you. Have you considered the fact your both divorced and perhaps even though you have been together for 8 yrs he is shy of marriage. Have you talked to him about how you feel?
2006-12-13 07:35:53 · answer #9 · answered by Marie 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes a man can love you and still not want to get married.
I think you want him to love you MORE than he hates marriage.
Maybe he NEVER wants to go through the pain of a divorce again and some how he thinks if he never gets married he will never have to experience that pain again. I'm not saying its right, but if he hated carrots you wouldn't make him eat them would you?
2006-12-13 07:24:33 · answer #10 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋