I took off for a few days to gain some sanity (we weren't speaking)
well, he wasn't speaking to me - anyway - I called my house to check for messages - he answers and tells me he put all my stuff in storage and not to bother coming back - here's the hard part - everything in that 2 bedroom apt. is mine (with a few exceptions of course) how can I get my stuff? I don't care about the breaking up part - it's been long overdue - but, why did he have to be so childish about this? I planned on leaving most of the stuff behind because he has an eleven yr old daughter he sees every-other weekend. Now I feel I should just take all my stuff and be rid of him for good. What would you do?
2006-12-13 06:48:46 · 27 answers · asked by tirebiter 6 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The lease was in both our names, but it just ended - he told me he already signed a new lease - I think he may be bluffing about that though.
Thank you all for your support and answers!
2006-12-13 06:57:26 · update #1
we split the bills 50/50.
2006-12-13 07:00:08 · update #2
this'll have to go to a vote - all ur answers were great!!!
thank you all SO much!!!
2006-12-14 03:58:36 · update #3
Speaking from experience here...
The best thing to do is one of two choices:
1.) Sit down with him, calmly. (He has to be calm as well, or else don't bother.) Talk about things, find out if he's seriously wants to end things or if he's just upset. Stress to him that a back-and-forth relationship isn't good for his daughter. If he says he still wants the relationship, then I'd consider figuring out how the two of you will deal with anger and conflict within your relationship. Anger and conflict are a fact of life, but dealing with it takes care and concern.
2.) The other option is for you to be done with him. If you're listed on the lease, then he doesn't have a right to the property anymore than you do, because legally it's considered "community" property, meaning you both have access to it, so you both have rights to it. Or you can just forget it all and start over from scratch.
The important thing for you to do is way the pros and cons and determine what you want to do about it. You cannot make him change how he handles conflict, that has to be something he does on his own.
2006-12-13 06:55:21 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
The daughter is his responsibility and he should have already prepared for such things...you should take what is yours and sever the ties. Even the items you really don't care to keep can be sold and you can buy more desirable things. Who's name is on the lease? If you are on the lease, he can not keep you from getting your things from the domicile. If you have received mail there and you have a key and property at the address, he will have to send you a certified letter telling you that you are not welcome there as well as requesting his key back and placing all of your property outside of the residence. If you fear there will be a problem, you can call your local police department and request that an officer escort you and a moving crew to the property to get all of your belongings. Be prepared to have less than a half hour to do it in, so take many people/boxes/packing materials/tape and such with you...
2006-12-13 15:00:11 · answer #2 · answered by ? 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Decide if it is worth the headache to deal with it. Legally, since you left the apartment, everything in it can be considered his. If your name is on the lease, you may have a legal leg to stand on there. Dont short change yourself but dont put yourself through too much agony just trying to get material things back that can be replaced. As far as leaving stuff there cuz of his daughter- thats his problem. if its your stuff and you want it back, he can figure out a way to make her comfortable when she comes to visit. Good luck!!
2006-12-13 14:56:52 · answer #3 · answered by PeAcHeS 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Funny enough the Bot is right you gotta follow your heart. If you dont want to have the little girl feel abandon too then you dont want to just do what you feel lis not right. Just breathe and think what is best for you and then figure out what you need to do. It sucks ending but your next man will be so much better you will laugh at the BS you used to put up with
2006-12-13 14:52:56 · answer #4 · answered by gstolard 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call the police and file a report and if that don't solve the problem, take him to Judge Judy or some other court. Who's name is the lease under?
2006-12-13 14:53:14 · answer #5 · answered by justmee12 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would go back and get my stuff. If you leave it there a court will find that you abandoned it and therefore are not entitled to it. Go back at a time when the child is not present, and don;t be greedy. Take what is yours, what you need. You cannot take items that were purchased by you as gifts and joint purchases need to be split in half.
2006-12-13 14:52:07 · answer #6 · answered by surfer_grl_ca 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If he put it in storage, then he's gotta pay the storage bill. He's gotta be BS'g you. I'd go back to your shared apartment, with a truck, AND a police escort, to collect your stuff! If your stuff is truly not there, then ya have the evidence that he has stolen your stuff!
2006-12-13 15:01:36 · answer #7 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
First of all its always hard to live with an ex after you break up. The best thing to do is just move on. If he does come to his senses and tried to apologize.....thats up to you to accept. For right now I would take your stuff and just find a new place. Things will just get worse if you drag it on.
2006-12-13 14:51:57 · answer #8 · answered by Believe 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Go, not call to the Police and have them go with you and a couple of guys ready to move it.No excuses like I couldn't get it all. Just get it and don't look back. Don't procrastinate because you might find your things gone, destroyed or sold. Bring mail or anything else you have for documentation too.
2006-12-13 14:53:50 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
You should contact the police and file a report for wrongful eviction, have them meet you there and try to get your stuff. Maybe if they police are there, he will give it back. if he wont give it back.. file with small claims asap to get your stuff back. Don't wait because who knows what he'll do with it. Also you shouldn't be charged for the storage so get it out asap.
2006-12-13 14:52:58 · answer #10 · answered by Caitlin 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋