i want my baby more than anyhting and feel i can do this solo..what do you think? also---he wants us to move into together and i dont want to? should i force myself for my kids sake?
2006-12-13 06:26:49 · 16 answers · asked by somebodysmamasoon 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
If you don't love him it isn't worth it. It puts pressure on your child because they can sense that they're being used as the basis of your relationship. It's better to get out now rather than later. Try to maintain a good relationship with the father though, that's important.
2006-12-13 06:30:51 · answer #1 · answered by tonetones03 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I know this is a little late to ask this, but if you didn't think that you would be together with this guy forever, why in the hell didn't you practice safe sex?? I mean, c'mon!! Now you've got this child coming, and while you feel you can raise it solo, that child is now going to grow up in an unstable home because his dad is not going to be there. Sure, he may have visitation and all, but it is not quite the same as having two parents married to each other and living in the same house. I will never understand why people do this to kids.
For you, what's done is done. I think you need to try to work it out with the baby's father, for the baby's sake. If it just isn't going to work, then by all means, don't push it. The baby doesn't need to live in a hostile environment either. Just PLEASE use more sense before you bring any more kids into this world. The last thing we need is to have more babies born out of wedlock. It's not fair to the kids and it's not fair to those of us who have to pay for welfare with our tax dollars.
2006-12-13 06:45:44 · answer #2 · answered by chickmomma5 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very old fashioned I thought and the reason I say this because why would you think of having an intimate relationship with a man who you would not consider to be good enough to keep as a husband? This world is so full of parents who think only of themselves that they don't care enough about their children to try and make things work. This is the whole beauty of two people getting together,, making their relationship even better than the day they met.
Do you love the father of your baby? I mean this is his baby too. Maybe he will be the best dad your baby will ever have. Only you can judge this. Does he want to take care of the two of you? Why would you want to go solo on such a life altering dicision? Having a child is a big commentment on both of you. He has every right to be in this child's life and one day you will have to answer as to why you didn't want to stay with the father....should this be your choice.
I would try and put myself in this guy's shoes and how I would want to be treated.
To some men, their kids are everything to them and they will do anything for them. If he is like this, I would stay with him because no one else can dare measure his caring way for your child.
But I also believe heavily in marriage. If you both take marriage seriously this will bond the two of you forever. That baby needs both parents to be as one from the start....not 5 yrs down the road whenever the two of you decide to make things right. Now is the time for that. If you can't do that, then stay celebut.
I have been married for 33 yrs and known my husband since the age of 14 and there is no man any better than he for me or our children.
Sticking it out together is no better feeling in the world. This is just my opinion, but it has worked for me, my parents, and my in-laws. And our kids are now happy adults.
If he mistreats you as in abuse.......I don't know why you were with him in the first place. He could always get help in this case.
This is just not an easy "yes" or "no" answer. You have to do what is right for you and your baby and his father.
I hope this helps.
2006-12-13 09:02:31 · answer #3 · answered by Momwithaheart 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Although life as a single parent is going to be hard -- VERY hard -- I believe you should at least talk to your baby's father. It's rather obvious from what you said that he isn't on the same page as you are about your relationship. If the relationship is salvagable, I would at least try, but if you know without a doubt that you do not love him and don't want to be with him, let him know now, for your baby's sake.
As a child of divorced parents, I know just how badly it hurts when your parents are together only because of you. To find out that all your happy childhood memories are lies is a very harsh thing for a child indeed. Good luck with your pregnancy and relationship!
2006-12-13 06:38:06 · answer #4 · answered by Tiffy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I agree that you should never stay together just for the children's sake. However, I do have to ask, why you got pregnant if you felt this way.
Raise a child or children on your own isn't impossible. It IS very lonely and can be disheartening. I have done this before and it wasn't something that I opted to do, but was forced to because of circumstances.
Please, think long and hard about doing this for any more children you may have in the future. If you do decide to go the way of the single parent, I wish you luck and happiness.
2006-12-13 06:34:17 · answer #5 · answered by kara3967 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you feel that you can handle it solo than by all means go for it. If you do not feel that the father is your forever person than do not settle down with him simply for the kids sake. In certain regards parents do have to put their children first, but if you move in and settle down with him just for the kid and not for yourself you will end up miserable. Eventually, you will resent the father and potentially resent your child. It is not always in the child’s best interest for his/her mother to settle down with the biological father just because he is the father. It doesn’t appear that you planned on this child, and I assume the pregnancy was an accident. I guess it is too late to give my lecture on birth control; anyway I am sure you wouldn’t want to bring your child up in a loveless household. He/she will then believe the forced relationship you have with the father is in fact a normal relationship. If the father isn’t “it” do not settle down with him. Wait to settle down with your forever person, whoever that may be. My girlfriend married her babies father just because he was the father. She wasn’t in love with him. Heck, she didn’t even like him. She was miserable for five long years and now regrets the 5 years of her life she wasted on a loveless relationship. She is divorced and happy now, but the thing is this…you can never get back time.
2006-12-13 06:39:12 · answer #6 · answered by lezzieB 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You can do anything if you want it bad enough. I would not recommend you moving in together immediately... you don't want to bring a baby up in a tense, unstable environment. Pregnancy can cause stress in the most stable relationships and for your and the baby's health you don't need stress. Don't shut the daddy out though. Who knows it may turn out wonderfully with him. Good luck and have a healthy pregnancy!
2006-12-13 06:33:13 · answer #7 · answered by JB 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your mum and dad can't make you have an abortion. and you ought to no longer run away. Having a toddler collectively as residing on the line isn't good for everyone. although, have not got the toddler just to 'coach' something. something. the sole reason to have/shop the toddler is given which you opt for to be a mom, and in actual fact believe which you supplies a newborn a good existence at this point on your existence. you're purely sixteen ... you have lots of time to do good issues with your existence. you would be able to desire to communicate this heavily with your mum and dad and your boyfriend. in case you have/shop the toddler, what's going to you do approximately college? Who will pay the expenditures? Can your boyfriend make contributions financially? What are your plans for the destiny? you would be able to choose on, yet one that would desire to no longer be made gently or with out concept as to the long-term consquences. good luck with your determination, regardless of it seems to be.
2016-10-05 06:42:32 · answer #8 · answered by kroner 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont say no but dont say yes. your going to be pregnant for 40 weeks so things can and most likely will change between the two of you. either you'll come together on your own or you'll grow apart but see how it goes. dont force yourself even for the baby cause if your unhappy so will the child. good luck and you CAN do this on your own I am with 2 kids and im only 22.
2006-12-13 06:33:46 · answer #9 · answered by Jenny 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You have 2 options.
If you know that you aren't going to be together forever, but you love him now you could move in with him and be a family until the time comes when it is no longer working. You never know, he could change when the baby is born, or you could and your relationship could become stronger.
OR
You could get rid of him now and start your life as a single mom. It is really up to you.
2006-12-13 06:30:48 · answer #10 · answered by yzerswoman 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋