I have an ex who is volatile. He wants to keep in touch with me, and I'm afraid that, if I don't, he'll wreak havoc on my life and the life of the guy I was dating up until the other day (he broke up with me over the drama with this ex). There has been vandalism, threats, etc. We've called the police, but nothing sticks to this guy. I just want to live in peace, but he won't be ignored. He cajoles and pleads for contact, and when I give a little, he takes even more. He pushes and threatens and scares me. Short of changing all of my contact info, moving, and becoming invisible, is there anything I can do? He doesn't actually come around me, so a restraining order doesn't make a lot of sense, and he has been careful to not do anything illegal that we can actually pin to him. I'm running out of ideas. Please help!
2006-12-13 06:14:15 · 3 answers · asked by Erica A 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
HEY !! Erica H !!
RULE #1 NEVER FEED RABID WOLVES !!
DO not have any contact with him at all !!!! Get a restraining order!! DOCUMENT (write down:date-time-place-witnesses, etc.. and/or electronically record) EVERY INTERACTION with this sub-human! Change your phone number’s-email-mail delivery,, etc… make it as difficult as possible for him to talk to you. IF you have to hire someone to watch and document this stalker’s actions/behaviors, DO IT!! Tell your boss at work you DO NOT/WILL NOT accept any phone calls or other contact from this idiot!! Should idiot enter the premises’ the “owner” has the right to kick him out! Tell your coworkers you will not accept any phone calls or any other forms of contact from him.
A B S O L O L U T L Y R E F U S E his behavior to be come a “drama issue” in YOUR LIFE !! It should NOT be “THE topic of conversation” with any other man you are seeing. The IDIOT is only controlling your life because YOU are ALLOWING HIM TO !!
2006-12-13 06:43:39 · answer #1 · answered by logicalanswer 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Question. How long did were you and your ex together. Did you start dating new guys almost immediately? Do you have children with your ex? Did you cheat on your ex with the now ex boyfriend bc of the drama?
Most of the time we bring these types of problems on ourselves by being selfish and insensitive to others. From what little info you posted, it sounds like you did to your ex what my stbx wife did to me. I guess the grass isnt greener, if it were the guy who just broke up with you would have stayed. He just used you for some fun or maybe you used him. You dont seem to broken up over your latest failed relationship.
2006-12-13 06:33:56 · answer #2 · answered by thrylz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
do you have some big brothers, uncles, cousins or any men in your life who can let him know that he needs to leave you alone? sounds like someone needs to confront him and be just as aggressive to him as he is towards you. if you don't have that kind of support...then you just might need to move and change your contact info. moving is not fun; but i'm sure that your life, peace of mind, and sanity are well worth it. i would also advise that you end all contact with him. don't give a little...give him nothing. i can sympathize because i was once in a similar situation. i had to learn the hard way that when dealing with someone who is unstable...you've just gotta let that person go and pray they sort out their own issues. please, please, please sever all ties! be strong!
2006-12-13 06:27:25 · answer #3 · answered by iPROMISE[♥] 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋