I'm 15, I just had a baby he is now 5 weeks, my boyfriend (his father) i trying to make ends meet but......

Question

i am 15 and i have a 5 week old baby. My boyfriend who is his father really wants this thing to work. My boyfriend is 17 and i am 15, i dont have a job and i only go to skool for half a day so i can come home to my baby. My boyfriend is working but i am not, we live with my mother in a 3bedroom apartment that me my mother and my 12 yr.old sister stay. well me and him arent really making any income and its hard listening to my mother telling me how to treat MY baby everyday, and im just ready to move out and this is all to complicated for me, i had alot going for me before all of this.. i played basketball, cheered, i was really active but i dont have time for myself now. i just dont know!!! and i REALLY love my boyfriend (my mama dont like him) and i REALLY REALLY love my baby but i dont know. and to make things worse i might be pregnant again!!! what to do???

Answer 1

First of all, invest in some f*cking birth control.

Secondly, listen to your mother. She knows a helluva lot more than YOU do (and this is obvious since you're on baby# 2 at 15).

Answer 2

Well, first of all your 15 and if you feel like you don't have a lot of time now then get on some birth control. But on the bright side when your baby is your age you'll only be 30 so you can go out and try to live what's left of your youth. I had my baby right when I turned 18 and I know how hard it is. I also live with my parents. That's what parents do they want to help but are really annoying and this is something that you really need to do. Moving out is a really good idea. Since you have had a child you are legally able to do that. But in order to make ends meet you will definitely have to get a full time job. Maybe your mother wouldn't mind baby sitting or you and your bf can work opposite shifts. Yes you would barely have time for each other but that is the path you chose. You can always get the same two days off a week. As for school, you should get into homeschooling. Or go to adult high school to graduate sooner. Or you can always go back to school later.

Answer 3

Wow. You sound like you really have a lot going on in your life right now. First off, I would be careful about leaving. If your mom doesn't want you to move out, she can call the police on you for running away from home--and worst case scenario, you and your baby could be placed in separate foster homes.
You say that your boyfriend is working, but you aren't really making any income? What happens to the money he earns?

Try and see things from your mother's perspective--it's probably hard for her to believe that you know everything about how to care for your baby--you were a baby yourself only 14 years ago! And, realistically, she's probably right--it's unlikely that you could know everything about caring for a baby, and she's obviously cared for two at least--it really wouldn't hurt to listen to her and take her advice.

To address your last thought--what makes you think that you might be pregnant again? I'm assuming that you have had sex since your 5-week-old was born? It is unlikely to ovulate so soon after delivery, let alone conceive--but, as we know all too well, anything is possible. Go get a pregnancy test, and if it is positive, make an appointment with your ob/gyn. I hope for your sake that you are not pregnant, but if you are, take care of yourself and your baby. If you are not pregnant, get on birth control NOW.
Good luck...

Answer 4

Ditch the boy. He's not going to last for another year. Your mom has a right to tell you things, you and your new family are living in her house with no income. Stay in school and get a job!


I was a 16 year old mother. I left my boyfriend after my son was 2. I am now a 21 year old with a Bachelor's Degree in Computer Networking Management. I'm very successful for my age and I did it all with a baby. I didn't use me being a teen mother as an excuse to take the easy way out. I never went to continuation school, i stayed at my current high school and graduated from there too. And listen to your mom, she will be there when nobody else is. And she will help you when nobody else will.

Answer 5

You should have been on birth control the first time around, and you REALLY should have been on it this time around. You have to wait four to six weeks after having a child to start having sex again- and it's only been five weeks. That is incredibly irresponsible of you, I can't even begin to tell you how ridiculous it is to me that you'd be having (unprotected?) sex this soon after giving birth.

That said, you need to grow up, and fast! You had a kid. Your life is now about taking care of that child and doing the best you can for them. Sports and cheerleading are now in your past. You need to focus on making money, finishing school, and caring for your child as best you can. Seriously, it's time for you to put your wants and needs aside and attend to your kid.

Also, you do sound depressed (and I'm not surprised about that) so it's probably in your (and your kid's) best interest that you see a therepist and perhaps get on an anti-depressant. Your life has changed very dramatically, and it must be hard for you, but that is NOT an excuse to neglect that child in any way. Keep that in mind, this is a huge responsibility, and one you are partially (along with your boyfriend) responsible for.

I'm not one for sugarcoating things, so I have to say- Your mother has every right to tell you how to take care of your kid. You live in her house. You are still basically a child yourself, and I'm not saying that because of just your age. It's obvious to me you are very irresponsible and immature, and she's probably just trying to help you out. You're lucky she didn't kick you out, a lot of parents would have!

I don't even know what else to say, other than stop thinking of yourself and the things you miss, and start thinking of your child. With all the sex education out there these days, you knew what you were getting into when you had sex. It's too late to change your mind now. Especially if you're pregnant with a second child.

Answer 6

Are there any programs in your area that will help you? WIC? Assistance programs?

I don't think moving out is going to solve your problems, it will just make them worse so for now it would be best to stay with your mom. I know it's tough but she only wants the best for you and your son and she loves you.

I'm sorry that you're feeling stressed out. Having a baby is difficult, especially at your age. Are there any daycare programs where you can leave the baby so that you can have some time for yourself?

Take a pregnancy test to see if you're pregnant or not. After having a baby five weeks ago you should still be bleeding but every woman is different. If it stopped recently, you'll have your next period in about a month.

Do you use condoms? Are you on birth control? I would suggest getting on birth control, taking it religiously, and also using condoms.

Whatever you do, make sure that you keep going to school. The only way that you will ever do anything or get anything out of life is if you keep going to school and get a proper education. Don't drop out - keep at it. It's going to be hard but you can do it. Also, there are programs and grants for girls with babies to go to college. Visit with your school's counselors to see what you need to do to be considered for those. Keep your grades up as best you can, go to college, and build a life for yourself. You need to do this for yourself as well as your baby.

I'm sorry that your boyfriend and Mom don't get along. I can understand why there is tension there. To your mom, he's the unworthy, shiftless (no matter if he has a job or not) scum who knocked you up. Try to understand that your Mom wanted more for you and your life and she still does. She may view your boyfriend as holding you back, especially since you got pregnant.

Also, talk to the school counselors about your situation at home. They are there to help you.

Best of luck.

Answer 7

You need to join a teen parenting class. Fast. They will provide support & give you help. Try looking into Planned Parenthood.

Your so young, but it's time for you to grow up sweetie. While your at Planned Parenthood get some birthcontrol. Also talk to your guidance Counselor about going to a school for Teen Mom's. They often have Day care in the school so you can got to school full time. What you want to do is get as much education as you can. Your going to have to provide for this baby/babies. Yes they have a daddy but plan to be the only parent. Do above and beyond so you can be in that much better of a position.
I hope you take this advice. And take care of yourself. Good Luck.

Answer 8

You should go to Planned Parenthood and tell them that you need to be sterilized!

That's crazy at age 15, you better listen to your mom, because she is still your mom. Why would you move out? You have basically no income! If you are feeling that it's too over whelming give you child up for adoption there are plenty of families that would be glad to adopt a child. Then you can go back to your life before the baby if that's what you are really trying for. Don't have another kid, in fact you owe us all money. Since our taxes are used for you! Go buy condoms if you are going to have sex, get the pill, get shots, DO ALL OF THEM. Just don't have another kid, you are too young, stay in school, and make something of yourself!

Answer 9

OK THE SMARTEST THING YOU CAN DO.. LISTEN TO ME~~ Do Not Get Pregnant Again!! No No NO NO NONonononono! im serious. you have a life of problems already.. do what you must to not let it happen again.. you know you 2 can't mnove out, where will you go with no money? i would listen to your momshe is raising 2 kids, one who has a baby of her own. she knows more about a 5 week old that you do i bet.. just try to keep your cool, you know you were in the wrong to get pregnant and have a baby so make the best of it and appreciate the help that you got. and dont get pregnant again! good luck to you hun

Answer 10

no1 here can advise u what to do..try talking to ur mother no matter what u think she does know alittle about something. having a baby is very traumatic experience. i have to raise the issue of being pregnant again didnt u learn the first time? motherhood is no cake walk im a mother of 2 kids 2 and 4 and i find it very hard i have a nanny to help me...accept ur mothers help ull be lost without but explain to her how she is making u feel and if she doesnt listen then u should move out good luck

Answer 11

First of all, use protection. Be thankful you have a guy who is sticking around and a family who is willing to help you. Take your moms advice and thank her but tell her it is your child and you want to try to do things how you think. But remember she has had kids and she knows alot. Don't try tomove out unless you are stable enough. You will only make things worse for yourselves and the baby. And if you think you are depressed now, wait till you are sitting at home alone with no one to help you and not know what is wrong with your child. Just hang in there. And congrats on staying in school, even if it is just half a day. As for time for yourself, you had a baby. It is al about them now and that is just something you have to learn to live with. Give it some time. Soon the baby will ba your life and you will not think about haveing no time for yourself. You will not want to be away from your baby. Good Luck