What can I do to better this situation I feel badly see? below?

Question

I fully admit that I had an immature unrealistic view of marraige 13 years ago and I have grown and matured, but I fear I have done some verbal damage in my marriage with things I have said and implied to my husband about me having to work outside the home unkind references like that e.g you would not have the lifestyle you have without my salary contributing.
But you know something this hurts a man self esteem and I have not been very kind about it.

My question is what are godly ways I can support my husband in his ministry and in all he does? What are ways I can control my tongue and not "throw in his face" things he cannot control?

I have the stronger more dominant personality and I compensate by for the most part as best as I can to be loving to him, but I have fallen short of the glory of God in this area of not being respectful.

Marraige is not the fantasy that I thought it would be but that does not give me the right to be mean. Thank you and God bless you.

Answer 1

dear sister,you are by far a bigger person than most,one just for admitting your faults and sharing your convictions,It does my heart good to read your post,keep on with your faith and pray that god will strengthen your character that he is building,and I wil also pray with you that he continues to grant his grace and enable you to hold your tongue during the tempest times which we all go through,nobody is perfect,and will never be untill the Good Lord calls us home,but in the mean time ,you are on the right path and try your best to stay in the ways of the lord,also there are some devotional books out there to help with the relationship and build a better partnership between you and your husband,Good Luck and God Bless

Answer 2

I do not concur with religious doctrine set forth by any church. I believe in God, and He is the only one I answer to .

You have to rely on your faith and your beliefs in order to fully answer this question. We all grow and mature with time, and I have a feeling you are at the point in which you feel embarrassed about the things you have said and done.

First step to getting through this is to sit down and talk to your husband. Explain to him that you love him, and want to continue to be with him. Explain your feelings and your thoughts. Ask him for his forgiveness, and vow to do better at biting your tongue.

His religious beliefs should allow him to forgive you, and if you are talking to him rather than AT him, the conversation will be two-sided.

I don't know the circumstances surrounding your situation, and why you would have to throw these things out there. Accept the responsibility, which you are doing here, and then act on that responsibility.

Seek counselling if you have to. Nothing wrong with getting an unbiased opinion on your situation and more light may be shone on WHY you act the way you do.

Good luck and God Bless

Answer 3

Wow, I know that is a hard confession to make. I feel for you truly! If you feel this bad, I would perhaps apologize to him personally. It would mean a lot to him! Maybe, tell him how much you appreciate him or something. I am sure he will be glad to hear what you have to tell him!

As for how to change, I would try little things. After you admit, I would tell him that if I do this or that please tell me immediately. You may notice patterns and be able to avoid making the same mistakes. Like, you may notice you are angry when he does this or that. I know this helped with sins in my life. Also, continue to pray as I know you are. That always helps! Tell God that you cannot make the change on your own and that you need him to help you make the change within you.

God bless, and have a Merry Christmas!

Answer 4

a) First, I gather from this that you have confessed your sorrow to God. Receive then the forgiveness of God. As a called and ordained minister of the Body of Christ, I pronounce to you the complete forgiveness of all your sins.
b) Luther wrote we cannot help the birds flying over our heads, but we can stop them from building nests. The next time you feel remorseful over these things, repeat to yourself, "I distinctly remember being forgiven."
c) Having been cleansed vis a vis God, go to your husband and ask his forgiveness, assuring him of your great love.
d) Same as b).
e) Consider marriage counseling. I am a pastor and it irks me no end to go, but it is always helpful.
f) Realize that your strong personality matches your husband's gentler personality. The gift is from God to make a more complete person of both of you. The task is the communication skills which allow this to happen with both of you feeling good.
g) Learn to rejoice in your strength...and pray for direction on how God would have you utilize such a great gift.
Shalom,

Answer 5

Just try talking to your husband and telling him how sorry you are And he most love you he is still with you even after the verbal abuse so I think he will forgive and forget .Good luck and God bless

Answer 6

IF YOUR HUSBAND HOLDS TRUE CHRISTIAN VALUES THEN HE WILL UNDERSTAND AND FORGIVE YOU WHEN YOU ASK FOR FORGIVENESS. LET HIM KNOW THAT YOU SEE THE ERRORS YOU HAVE MADE AND THAT YOU ARE SORRY AND JUST HOW MUCH YOU APPRECIATE ALL THAT HE DOES FOR HIS FAMILY. PRAY FOR GOD TO HELP GUIDE YOU AND MAKE THE NECCESSARY CHANGES INSIDE OF YOUR HEART. ASK GOD TO FORGIVE YOU ALSO. I THINK YOU ARE ON THE RIGHT TRACK. YOU SEE THE THINGS YOU NEED TO CHANGE IN YOURSELF AND THAT IS THE FIRST STEP TO MAKING A DIFFERENCE. I APPLAUD YOU! AND REMEMBER THAT WHAT RICHESS YOU DO NOT RECEIVE ON EARTH FOR YOUR HARD WORK AND DEDICATION TO THE LORD, YOU WILL RECEIVE IN HEAVEN! GOD BLESS YOU!

Answer 7

i would suggest a christian marrae counsler, alot of churches have them on staff. and might i also suggest private counsleing for yourself as well. it sounds like your heart is there, you just need to learn how to tame your tounge. :) been there done that. it says in the bible that we are to love and respect our husbands as we would Jesus. The same for our husbands towards us. They are the head of the household and (i know society today will disagree) we need to respect them for hat and allow them to make decisions. you cannot have to captias of a ship. as you probally know this does not mean that you are his slave and that we are the weaker sex or any of that modern age crap, it is simply how God made us and how a good household will function.

Answer 8

I actually have heard many circumstances that once you marry someone, you marry their kin too. Your hubby's relatives are literally yours, with each of the blended advantages that comprise them. Pray for them and love them, yet perchance you ought to take his mom aside and tell her that her son is grown up and may make his own selections, in a very good way. If she does proceed to butt into the way you both stay your lives, and keeps being insensitive about this, then it will be time for you all to pass out of the area. I actually have a reliable chum who were given married many years back, and her in-regulations were respiration down her neck, telling her a thanks to advance her children, a thanks to keep living house, and so on. ultimately, she and her husband keen to pass ninety miles away. a ways adequate away that the in-regulations ought to no longer intervene, yet close adequate that they could nonetheless visit them oftentimes. now and again a replace of surroundings is reliable so both one in all you could make judgements on your own. And, as continuously, pray for them and love them, and do not ignore that they probable do have your best pastimes at heart.

Answer 9

Read the bible and practice what the bible says how the husband and wife should treat each other (Ephesians).

Answer 10

read the book "The proper feeding and care of husbands" you'll get some great ideas in it.