My Fiance' and I have been trying to conceive for 7 months with no luck! It has gotten to the point where I don't even have a sex drive to try at all. He has a 4 year old son that for some reason, more than the fact we haven't gotten pregant, I don't think is actually his. What can we do? Is there anything recomended to boost a females sex drive? And we really want a baby, I already have a 1 1/2 year old (isn't his) so it isn't me! Any advice?
2006-12-13 04:51:03 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Trying to Conceive
Just an FYI also, it took like almost nothing for me to get pregnant the first time with my daughter (again, not his child). This is really frustrating!
2006-12-13 04:53:08 · update #1
I am getting married in 2 weeks.
2006-12-13 05:06:01 · update #2
My suggestion would just be to be as well prepared and well educated as possible.
Start charting your bbt if you don't already - an excellent website to help you with it and it pretty much does all the work for you is www.fertilityfriend.com
Buy the Clear Blue Easy fertility monitor - its worth every penny. But a cheaper way to go would be to buy the CBE ovulation tests that have the smiley face as a result. I've heard lots of great things about them.
And last but not least - when you are fertile - use preseed (www.preseed.com) to help the sperm get where they need to go. I am using it for the first time and have a really good feeling about it. Not to mention I have heard so many people have success on the first try with it that I had to try it. And you can read about some of them on www.twoweekwait.com and the success stories along w/ different conception aide stories on the website.
Some other good websites you can read more about the whole timing thing, etc. are webmd.com, babyzone.com, babycenter.com. Stay healthy & relax.... making a baby should be fun so don't stress and it will happen! Good Luck and lots of baby wishes to you!
2006-12-13 05:07:21 · answer #1 · answered by HeazAngel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, relax!! It takes 2 normal, healthy people as long as 18 months to conceive!! Two, you don't need to go at it like rabbits to get pregnant. It's better if you just have sex regularly (3x a week *really* isn't a TON), that way you have a better chance of catching your most fertile time. You could also try ovulation prediction kits to get an idea of when you ovulate.
Don't speculate as to whether or not his 4 y/o is or isn't his just b/c YOU haven't gotten knocked up yet. Also don't assume that it's HIS problem just b/c you got pregnant so easy the first time!
As for boosting your libido, sex for women is often very closely linked to emotions and feelings. Try talking to your partner about how you're feeling (w/ the exception of the whole "you haven't gotten me pregnant yet, so that kid must not be yours" bit...I'd leave that out). I would try forgetting about trying to conceive for awhile and focus on the feelings and sensations that make sex FUN!
Also try getting away for a weekend, just the two of you, and making it a romantic time. "Conceptionmoons" seem to be the new craze--it helps you BOTH relax, which always makes conception more likely (not to mention more fun ;)) Try some stimulating scents (rose, patchouli, jasmine, coriander), candlelight, or some dark chocolate to get the mood going.
2006-12-13 13:09:45 · answer #2 · answered by luvablelds 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't be so stressed, for one. And sorry to burst your bubble, but it could still be you. One child doesn't guarantee easy fertility for the rest of your life. I'm wondering why, if you're already engaged, are you in such a hurry to get pregnant? It's easier said than done, but quit stressing, it will happen when it's ready. If you know when you ovulate, have sex around that time. If you don't know, try using ovulation predictors and/or basal body temp charting. If, after 12 months of active trying, you still haven't seen any results, both of you should see a doctor for some tests to make sure nothing else is going on.
2006-12-13 13:01:01 · answer #3 · answered by desiderio 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
were u trying when u got pregnant with your other baby? Try can put a lot of stress on both of your bodies. At this point if its so frustrating stop "trying". Go back to having sex because you're in the mood. I know its easier said than done (i'm going thru the same thing) but its the best advice anyone can give. Good Luck to you.
2006-12-13 13:00:38 · answer #4 · answered by panya 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I know it is frustrating, but don't give up hope. I had three children from a previous marraige. I am remarried to a wonderful man, and we have been trying for almost a year now. I am sure it will happen soon for you. I refuse to give in. We haven't seen a Dr. yet. There comes a point where people do, and I guess that point is different for everyone. Right now, we are not at that point and feel when the time is right, it will happen. Maybe we both need to just relax? :-) Best wishes!
2006-12-13 13:01:23 · answer #5 · answered by PennyPickles17 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Stop trying. When you try to hard it becomes a chore and nobody wants to do chores. Also you can be stressed about getting pregnant and that can make it harder to conceive. Just enjoy yourselves. Your sex drive will come back when you don't HAVE to have sex. Good luck and baby dust for you!!!!
2006-12-13 12:57:50 · answer #6 · answered by Mrs. Always Right 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Stress can cause you to
1. not be in the mood and
2. not conceive
I would suggest getting married before trying to conceive, (I didn't conceive untill after I got married) lowering your stress and having a date night with no kids and a bottle of wine to help get in the mood.
2006-12-13 13:02:42 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go see your doctor. They can do some simple tests to check a few things out. They could test your fiance's semen. Even if he already has a child, his sperm count could have changed. Try to relax and only have "baby making" sex around your fertile times, spice it up the other times. That will help increase your sex drive.
2006-12-13 12:57:27 · answer #8 · answered by Mrs_M 4 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Start taking vit-e (1000 to 1200iu's twice a day). Both of you. It can help.
2006-12-13 13:25:17 · answer #9 · answered by golden rider 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep going!
These things can take time....
Just enjoy it!
2006-12-13 12:53:42 · answer #10 · answered by Barrett G 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋