My exes child hates me! When my ex and I were together she was cheating on me with my friend(s)... I went off on her in front of the kids, I know that was bad.
Now her youngest daughter who I raised from 1 to 8 hates me, she thinks I'm some mean guy. She loves me but she's scared of me.
I was pissed, I went off, unfortionately she just cant get it out of her head and I don't know how to address it with her. I cant just say "you'r mom is a hoe"
I still see the kids, I love them even though their not my blood, I still watch them on weekends so their mom can go play. She says she still has bad memories of it and last time she stayed at my house this weekend she woke at 3am unable to go back to sleep. I still have bad memories about it all. Her mom destroyed our family.
How do I address the issue? Without throwing her mom under the bus? I've told her that I love her and that those were tough times (2 years ago).
2006-12-13 04:47:17 · 10 answers · asked by Cabbage 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
She is scared of you because she is afraid you'll explode with rage again someday, so you have to explain to her that you won't. See, you were not wrong for being angry at your ex, but you were wrong in how you handled it: "I know that was bad," you admit In explaining this to the girl, you don't have to say anything bad about her mother. Just stick to you and what you did wrong. Tell the girl that you were very angry and upset at the time, but even though you were so angry, you are sorry for having handled the situation badly. Tell the girl that you regret what you did and that you promise to try to never behave that way again. Finally, reassure her that you would never hurt her or her mother. Say it all lovingly and with sincere regret in your tone of voice.
2006-12-13 04:55:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well, number 1, you still have a lot of hostility towards your ex, and you still blame her for everything. Do you think the kid does not pick up on that? You admit you "went off on" their mother once. How many other times? Don't you think that verbal abuse is frightening to children? She apparently has reason to fear you and think you're mean. Maybe you should look at changing yourself rather than blame other people for your behavior.
2006-12-13 06:39:16 · answer #2 · answered by silverside 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like a wonderful parent, please just be patient with the child. I really don't understand the fact that mom goes out to play while you stay and watch her kids~Stranger things happen though~ Hang in there and be gentle with the child's feeling, keep up the good work you are a true father figure~
2006-12-13 04:54:43 · answer #3 · answered by YO~NO~FUI E 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Just keep apologizing reassuring her it was a bad argument but won't happen again. Explain that is why you and her mom aren't together anymore. Also assure her you would never yell at or hurt her. No need to get in to details of what the argument was about.
2006-12-13 04:51:43 · answer #4 · answered by www.treasuretrooper.com/186861 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Continue to talk to her. You don't have to go in details about what went on between you and her mother. But reassure her that you were wrong in your reaction to things and that you behaved badly but that doesn't mean that you don't still lover her and her siblings. She doesn't hate you but she is having a hard time dealing with your outburst. Just keep giving it some time.
2006-12-13 04:57:35 · answer #5 · answered by kitcat 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You kind of have to explain it in a truthful yet innocent way. i.e. "Your mother and I couldn't get along. We didn't want you kids to witness us fighting so we had move on and move to seperate homes. I am sorry that you saw us fighting sweetie, can I take you shopping to make your forget? please?" lol
2006-12-13 04:53:39 · answer #6 · answered by E! 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Resolve this problem as quickly as you can if she goes into her teens hating you she may bring over friend sto well harm you.
2006-12-13 06:50:23 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you're just gonna have to get over it and in a few years she will understand beter.
2006-12-13 04:52:01 · answer #8 · answered by Cheesy Stuff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She has alot of growing up to do so don't worry about it too much!
2006-12-13 04:53:52 · answer #9 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
hmmmm....divorce your cheating wife and cut your losses??? not your kids..and she's apparently got some issues...
2006-12-13 05:14:27 · answer #10 · answered by celeste_moon 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋