When I married my wife, she was skinny and beautiful. She has put on 100 lbs and is nothing but a fatty now.?

Question

What can I do to get her to be skinny again. I can't even stand to look at her much less sleep with her.

Answer 1

I consider it a breach of contract. If you enter into the contract with a thin chick and she gets fat she is failing in part of her obligations. You can't make her loose weight but you can tell her ***She is no longer the woman you married*** and that is reason enough to leave.

Answer 2

tos72727

Come on dude you don’t live in a vacuum. This is the “for better or worse part” now is the time to invest yourself in helping her.

2 issues here, Medical and Mental

If she’s had a baby, carrying a baby can really screw with the wife’s hormones, etc. Post child birth her body’s changed through zero fault of her own! Some women do, some don’t,, purely genetic which she has little control over.

If you haven’t been a good husband (whatever the reasons) she may be depressed and compensates with food. She may have other depression issues and compensates with food. OR,,, strangely she may be very happy and therefore eats A LOT because she is happy. (she may have been raised to equate happiness with food. yah, some screwed parents actually teach their kids that ignorant notion!!)

Regardless the “reasons” first, Sit down have a honest frank meaningful effective communication with her. Explain you are concerned for her: physically and mentally. Encourage a Dr. appointment asap for a complete exam/checkup!! Ask her if she is unhappy/depressed over anything. Don’t be shocked, belittle, etc.. what her answers may be. Trip to a counselor may do her a world of GOOD. Look at her other family members, especially the women.. all about the same? Then genetics could be playing a role in your wife’s weight gain.

Regardless find out, rule out possible causes. THEN YOU WILL help her with loosing the weight. THIS IS A “WE” challenge,, not a “my wife’s fat problem”!!! SHE AND YOU: adopt a healthy diet, start physically working out, encourage her every step of the way! Set goals and when that goal is met DO SOMETHING NICE FOR HER!!

Time to think with “BIG” head, not “little” head. You and she are a TEAM, a team is no stronger than it’s weakest link, SO GET off the Couch get your mind in this “game” and help your teammate. DO NOT BE NEGATIVE in word deed or thought !!!!

Answer 3

"NOTHING BUT A FATTY NOW," well aren't you a loving husband... Have you considered that you are the problem!!! A lot of women gain weight as they age or after getting married. What type of pressure have you put on her? How much stress do you put on her? Are you ever nice to her? Are you kind and loving like you were before she gained weight? Did she have a baby and is having problems losing the baby-weight? What about medical issues? Is she experiencing thyroid problems?

D*mn man, she could have some serious issues right now. Weight isn't always about food. Sometimes it's about stress or medical issues. You being ugly about her being 100 lbs heavier isn't going to make the weight fall off and she certainly won't get motivated to lose weight just because you've called her a "fatty."

Did you marry her just for her body or was there something else about her that drew you to her? YOU HAVE SOME SERIOUS SOUL SEARCHING TO DO HERE. If you love her then help her find an answer to the problem. Be supportive-- not hurtful.

Answer 4

You married her for better and worse. This, in your eyes, is the worse. Approach this issue with caution as weight is something women are extremely hard on themselves about. I'd suggest you offer to exercise with her, then you can be supportive and encouraging. Take an active role in what is in the house- is there alot of junk food? Can you eliminate some of it and get healthy snacks there? If she's not over-eating and has been exercising, then I would ask her to get her thyroid checked. There are many reasons people put on weight. Is she taking any medication that could do this? (anti-depressants are really bad for putting extra weight on people) Is she stressed out? Stress puts weight on people more than anything else, and people tend to carry the weight the same as the burden of stress. Has she had a child and been unable to lose the weight? Doctors can help with that too. Is being overweight in her genetics? If not, then I'd check the former options listed. Above all, be supportive and kind, be willing to help her- weight issues are 99% of the time much more than diet and exercise.

Answer 5

Many women put on weight when they get married, especially after having children. You never mentioned how old she is or how much she weighed before. You didn't indicate how long you've been married and if she had any pregnancies. Women's metabolisms slow down after giving birth many times.

Sometimes women gain weight for various of reasons after marriage. Sometimes a woman feels like their lives have changed to the point where they are not in control of their own lives and they become depressed. Sometimes a woman may feel like since she has the man she loves, she doesn't have to worry about her appearance as often. It could be a medical reason as well.

I'd be depressed if my husband felt the same way you do towards her. Try encouraging her and be supportive. Find out what the reason is and be loving towards her. She is the same woman you married.

Why don't people honor marriage vows anymore? For better or worse, in sickness and in health, for richer or poorer....People give up on marriage too quickly in my opinion these days. I suggest marriage counseling. I feel there is more to your issues than weight gain.

Answer 6

You have two issues:

1. Have you actually had a serious and respectful discussion with her about this issue? Have you spoken to her about how her weight gain affects your marriage? If not, you certainly should. (Without any comments like calling her "Fatty." Honestly, that makes me sick and you're not talking about me. If that's your attitude, maybe you are part of the problem. Maybe she gained weight so that you would stop wanting to have sex with her.)

2. And a 100 pound weight gain is tremendous -- what are the reasons for that? Is there a medical reason or is there an emotional reason? You have to know the reason for the problem before you can help solve it. This may require some counseling.

And finally: Will you still love her and want to sleep with her if she can never be skinny again? By that I mean, what if she can never get down to her original weight again, but can get within 20 pounds of it? Will that be okay with you? Or can you only feel sexual desire for skinny chicks? Just something to think about.

Answer 7

Wow, that's not the nicest thing to say about your wife. But here's my advice. You should tell your wife how you're feeling, although in a more tactful way that you just wrote. (Ex. Don't call her a "fatty" and that you "can't even stand to look at her.")
You can suggest exercising together to get in shape. Then you'll be spending time with her and she can get in shape at the same time. Maybe join a gym membership together? Or go for walks or hikes together?

However, if she feels comfortable and happy with her weight, you should respect that and still love her no matter what! Otherwise, sorry to say it, you married her only for the looks.

Answer 8

I think you should have her go to a doctor. I wouldn't worry so much about how she looks, but more about how this may affect her health. If she knows that her extra weight can cause her body harm and she hears it from a good source, she may lose the weight on her own. If that doesn't sound good, you may want to see what caused her to gain the weight. People don't gain nearly 100 lbs without there being something wrong or something that happened. I think the big thing is not for her to be skinny but for her to be healthy.

Answer 9

There are a lot of factors that cause people to gain a lot of weight. So, there are different answers for each.
--If she gained the weight bearing children for you, she needs a good diet and exercise now, and you need to be patient (you didn't have to carry the babies in your own body, so you cannot imagine how hard it is to take the weight off afterwards);
--If she is depressed, she eats to make herself feel better. (Maybe you are the reason she is depressed. Do you treat her nicely and share the housework and child-rearing duties with her? Do you still give her lots of cuddle time and sweet-talk? If not, this may be partly your fault.) You need to talk to her to find out why she is depressed.
--If she has the genetic background to be overweight (look at her parents and siblings),then she needs a doctor to help her lose weight.
--You vowed to love her for better or worse...etc. You need to help her lose that weight so she will be healthier (not just cause you selfishly liked her skinny).
--Look in the mirror. Do you look exactly as muscular and thin as you did when you got married? Hmmmmm? Be honest.
--If nothing else works, try marriage counseling. By refusing to sleep with her you are helping her eat more to feel better. You are a big part of this problem. You are not loving and supportive.

Answer 10

Uuummmm...question. Usually when the wife puts on a lot of weight, the husband has, too.

Unless you have a fantastic body, you've got NO ROOM to be concerned about her weight.

If, however, you are in good physical shape yourself, then I suggest the following:
1. Eat dinners together of healthy nutrition. Chicken breasts and veggies. Even offer to cook!
2. If you do physical activities, try to get her involved with you. Like to play tennis? Go play together! Like to go jogging? Make her go with you! Tell her that you know she can do it!

Just whatever you do, don't bring up that she is fat and that you can't stand to look at her or have sex with her anymore. That will make matters SOOOOOO much worse. You're really between a rock and a hard place.

Now, if you're a fatty yourself, you could say, "You know what, Honey? I'm worried about our health. I think we should start eating better and we should get more physical activitiy." Do it together. ;-)

If you're a fatty, too, then shame on you. If you are not, then good luck to you!!

Answer 11

If you love her then it shouldn't matter what she looks like. If you only married her for her looks, then you are incredibly shallow and deserve to be miserable. If she wants to lose weight, then support her however you can, encourage her and help her with exercise, or even one of those programs like weight watchers. If she doesn't, then you should get off her case. Most women gain some weight when they settle in a stable relationship and again when they start having children. It's a proven fact. You yourself will start to change with age. Is she supposed to stop loving you because you've gotten fatter, or started going gray, or bald? Should she leave you, or stop sleeping with you if that happens? Wouldn't you think that would be incredibly selfish and shallow of her? When you love someone you love all things about them. Would you stop wanting her if she got wrinkles or gray hair, trust me it will happen. The only sure thing in life is that beauty fades. It will happen to you as well. If you really feel this way, I hope you spend your life alone.