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Im 16 and had alot of **** in my life, lost all family at 9 due to fall outs, my uncle abused me in many ways when i was 10-12, my best friend died about 2 years back we were so close, also my sister who i havent seen since i was 9 recently died of breast cancer at 37 and i don't know how to feeel about it.
Ive finally got someone to rely on and hes amazing and we love each toher deeply and i cna talk to him but i dont always want 2 unload on him.
I dont know what to do someitmes i keep getting depressed n upset, i have bad dreams about what has happened. Ive been to a councilor but they wouldnt drop the subject of my uncle i got angry and left. Im usually very confident n relaxed around people but im terrified of getting hurt, i didnt want to commit and now i have im scared of loosing him. I feel like im always messing things up and im no longer sure what to do or anything. I just get upset alot of the time and angressive and i have to see my unlce at xmas. Help me please - advice!

2006-12-13 04:17:31 · 11 answers · asked by red_hot_chili_monkey 1 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

11 answers

The-res only one way to really deal with depression that's with a GP,is there one in your local doctors practise you feel you could confide in,if so grab it with both hands,its not all ways medication you need just the right person to confide fully in,as for your uncle over Christmas,just be polite but never ever be alone with him for even a short while,if other leave the room,tag along with them,but its not the time to sling the muck they wont want to be bothered with it,as its his word against his.But most of all get your self a feeling of worth,with out it your all ways going to feel low

2006-12-13 06:49:43 · answer #1 · answered by barnowl 3 · 0 0

My sympathies to you! Being abused is one of the worst emotional traumas, and although the councilor made you angry, I do suggest you go back and speak about what happened with your uncle. This sort of thing is like a disease, and will eat away at any relationship you have in the future. You have to come to terms with what hapened, and once you have, you will suddenly find you have turned a corner. Being 16 you have you whole life ahead of you, so don't make the mistake I did and leave it for too long. I regret not seeking council at a younger age! The fact that you have a supporting partner will make this journey a lot easier as all your other problems will some how make sense. Life is a journey of ups and downs, but you definately need to get the council for your uncles abusiveness towards you out in the air. Having to see him at Xmas, is not going to be easy, but if you keep silent and keep all your emotions inside, you are giving him the power! DON'T!! Be strong ... and be happy!! Good luck and I hope you have a wonderful Xmas

2006-12-13 04:45:46 · answer #2 · answered by lynne 3 · 0 0

Don't see your uncle at Xmas. If he abused you, you shouldn't be expected to see him and pretend everything is ok. Be thankful that you've got this guy now-not because you should now be dependant on him, but because you've shown yourself that you are still capable of those kinds of feelings in yourself. Some people would be cold inside, after all that you've been through.

Maybe the counselling would have been a good idea. Sometimes when you get upset and 'buckle', it's because something's been touched upon. It is these very things coming out into the open that'll set you free. Think of it as poisin in a blister-you have to aggravate the surface to speed up the healing process. It can feel horrible at the time but you may find it helps matters.

If you get upset and feel aggressive, try going out for a walk and just concentrating on walking and the scenary around you. It will help you get matters, which may have been blown out of proportion in perspective.

2006-12-13 04:26:18 · answer #3 · answered by allears 4 · 0 0

Hiya
I don't pretend to know how you feel but i do know a little of what you have been through.
Many years ago one of my nieces was abused by her step father and ultimately became pregnant,she was 12 years old,her mother took the baby as if it was her own and brought him up.
My niece is now 36 and has told her son what happened but this story doesn't end there as my niece has 2 brothers and a sister,they have all told me that they were abused as well.
But because of a mix up with social services 23 years back the step father got away with it.
The only reason i have told you about this is to show you that you are not alone ,this is a big problem.
My nieces and nephews are now all grown up and have very little contact with thier mother because the step father is still with her.
No one can tell you what you must do,they can only advise you.
You do not have to see your uncle if you decide not to but what i will say is that you should report your uncle for what he has done.I know what you are going to say about that,you will say you can't do that because it will upset the family and cause trouble and you probably think that they will blame you. Well that is thier problem.
You say you are sixteen,at your age you should be able to expect protection from family and friends and also public services and the police.
You can ring child line and they can advise you better,i can only tell you my exeriences.
Please don't blame yourself it is not your fault,but you must be strong not for anyone else but for you.
Good luck and have a good life

2006-12-13 04:43:52 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1 0

You do have a lot of issues, and you need a counsellor to help you sift thru all that.So, okay, you got the wrong counsellor the first time. They aren't all like that one. Find another.

Don't commit to this one guy till you can really mean it. If he wants to stay close to you, that's great.

Don't let that uncle get near you at Christmas. Keep others between the two of you.

2006-12-13 04:50:32 · answer #5 · answered by kiwi 7 · 0 0

A spouse won't treatment thoughts of being lonely and depressed, this comes from the interior. good enterprise is a initiate. What healthful hobbies do you have at latest? in line with one particular different, to make you sense greater effective might positioned a stress on your relationship, whilst there will be so plenty greater to barter. you would be able to desire to heal you. concentration on what sitmulates you and makes you sense on ideal of your interest. your self-well worth desires tweeking. Your strengths, abilities or in simple terms little issues that make you sense good approximately you, are what you opt for on your existence. Are you sporty, arty, social etc...? action is mandatory. a super feeling of fulfillment happens once you're contained in the zone, Your zone! detect what makes you sense good approximately being you. in case you're caught, attempt thinking approximately what involved you as a newborn, then pass from there. greater acquaintances, ones who make you sense good approximately who you're. A nicely worded prayer, and a minimum of a million/2 an hour of direct sunlight an afternoon, for curing that melancholy. (nutrition A, i think of?) seek for and you shall discover, my chum. X

2016-10-05 06:36:16 · answer #6 · answered by marceau 4 · 0 0

Please get some medical help. There are prescription medications for depression. I, also, think that you need to return to counseling .... maybe a new Counselor. Must you really see your Uncle at Christmas? It might help your present state of mind to keep the distance. Hope this helps.

2006-12-13 04:23:54 · answer #7 · answered by honiebyrd 4 · 0 0

first medical help to deal with the past even if it hurts then confront the uncle if your counselor agrees. maybe medicine and counseling?

2006-12-13 04:35:00 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

first why do you HAVE to see your uncle? thats what was happening to me. i was scaredi was going to loose my bf cause i was always mad and it upset her cause i didnt tell her everything but i started just to be hella nice to him and everything turned out fine....so far

2006-12-13 04:24:48 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

write poetry, talk to friends, listen to music, thats what i did in a similar situation and it helped alot. -hugs-

2006-12-13 04:21:30 · answer #10 · answered by andi 1 · 0 0

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