2006-12-13 04:08:00 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Why do you hate having sex with you husband? Is he not meeting your needs, so to speak... Is he rough with you? Is there something in your past that is holding you back (Sexual abuse, rape, etc)
I suggest reading a book called Sheet Music. My husband and I had a similar problem when we were first married only reversed. We read 1 chapter a week. We would each read the chapter separately and then get together to discuss how we felt about what we read. Getting my husband to open up was hard at first, but after the first 3 or 4 chapters.... :) Talking about our feeling toward sex and using this book as a guideline really helped us let go of our insecurities. We have grown closer then ever because we took the time to open up to one another and to make sure that we were meeting each others needs.
It is very cruel to refrain from having sex with your husband. If you love him, you will find a way to work through what ever is making you Hate sex. Read a book, find a good couples therapist, go on a romantic trip, plan 2 days during the week that you will have sex whether you want to or not...what ever it is that the two of you decide, the most important thing is that you follow through. What you are doing now isn't working and it can only lead to heartache.
One last thing, when you do have sex with your husband, guide him, talk to him, let him know what you like. Don't just lay there and wait for him to finish. I think that could be more hurtful then not having sex at all. You may end up enjoying yourself more then you think! Have fun!
2006-12-13 04:38:03 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Sex releases the hormone oxytocin which makes you both feel closer to each other. If you aren't having sex then there will be a distance that can grow immense. Make appts. to find out why you don't want to have sex. It could be hormone imbalance or depression. Did he cheat on you and that is why you are witholding sex? That requires some counseling. Does he not satisfy you? If so, try having him read some articles on the internet like Askmen.com. There is an older article that lists the top 9 things for men to avoid while having sex. Is he doing any of these that it turns you off. Is he NOT doing something that you would like or does he expect you to do things that are painful and you really don't like? This is a serious problem and you need to get it worked on. Sex is very important in a marriage. If it weren't men and women wouldn't ruin so many of their relationships with affairs. Perhaps you are still closeted and attracted to women. Explore the reasons because it isn't normal to feel the way you do.
2006-12-13 12:24:21 · answer #2 · answered by GrnApl 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Find a sex therapist, go for a session or two and figure out why you hate having sex with you husband and what to do about it. That would be a really loving thing to do.
2006-12-13 12:15:55 · answer #3 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hi,
firstly u have to understand one love always is the best just make a list why do u hate having sex with him and certainely u will get major points check out look love is always starts with liking so love is every movement honestly , next u talk to him and discuss the issue with him softly and smoothly look u both can solve the issue easily
To show u r love talk to him with always positive and keep aside the problems other side enjoy every seconds with him
he is ur dream man just dream love him with heart think he is only man in this earth for u and trust u both can make best pair for ever one love is always best .
2006-12-13 12:58:21 · answer #4 · answered by Smart Prince 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Gee I guess I would look into some sex therapy or maybe talk it over with your doctor because it might be something out of balance that affects your mood or feelings about sex. If you feel uncomfortable or "not in the mood" most of the time it could be a chemical in balance or could be effected by medications you are on. If you are sore or size issues maybe some lubrication is needed. If your husband loves you. You should talk to him about your issues because shutting him off will destroy your relationship in time. There are always other ways to show affection and love for another be honest with yourself and be creative Good Luck
2006-12-13 12:44:17 · answer #5 · answered by chancesare45 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You can show him that you love him by taking an interest in fixing the situation. You say nothing about why you hate sex with him.
You seriously need a therapist. Nobody should hate having sex with their spouse. If you ever told you husband that you hate having sex with him I would be surprised if he didn't cry his head off.
If you do not fix this your marriage is dooooooomed.
2006-12-13 12:38:43 · answer #6 · answered by fucose_man 5 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Why? Why on earth are you with someone you hate having sex with....why do you hate having sex with him? There isn't anything you can do to make up for how you feel, showing the love is a cop out....
2006-12-13 12:20:50 · answer #7 · answered by WitchTwo 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Oh my goodness! Why do you hate having sex with your hubby? To be honest with you, that is going to cause serious problems in your relationship. Im curious to know whats wrong. You need to post some details.
2006-12-13 12:16:20 · answer #8 · answered by Kokolicious06 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Well there has to be a reason why you don't wanna have sex with your husband .When you figure out why then you can fix things!
2006-12-13 12:16:22 · answer #9 · answered by IT'S JUST ME ! 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
the deeper question is, why do you hate having sex with your husband? I'm sure you were 'with' him prior to getting married. has something about his technique changed? explore those two questions first. If it's just intercourse you "hate", there is always oral sex, or a concubine or divorce.
2006-12-13 12:16:14 · answer #10 · answered by bigjohninfla75 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋