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My husband does not know to handle arguments. Though to some extend i try to be calm he gets out of control. He takes it to a point where he ends up banging his head on the wall screaming abuses and weeping. He acts like a child who has no emotional stability. I really cannot depend on him at times. I try to hide things from him due to this.I remember him telling me how badly he was beaten up by his parents when he was young.I understand he has emotional problems but he does not want to see a doctor . I have been patient enough,tried to avoid arguments and even encouraged him to see a counceller.What more should i do to help him?

2006-12-13 04:04:34 · 15 answers · asked by simply magic 1 in Family & Relationships Marriage & Divorce

15 answers

~*~ Ask him to do Mediation ~*~

Mediation is a means to still the mind's restlessness. An invaluable tool in managing stress and anxiety. Regular meditation trains the mind to be calm, centred, relaxed and detached. This is extremely helpful while responding to stressful situations. It curbs overreaction, emotional outbursts and losing temper, thus giving the mind the time to rationalise and think about practical solutions.

Pranayama and meditation have amazing capacity to reduce the stress inducing hormones. It restores calm, promotes positivism, and encourages patience and harbours compassion. It will keep you fresh and rejuvenated throughout the year both physically and mentally.

2006-12-13 04:21:16 · answer #1 · answered by chandu 1 · 0 0

That is a typical "control freak" behaviour. When he comes to know that he is losing an argument going head on, he wants to try winning it using other techniques like acting wierd actions and then justifying it saying " poor me, I was beaten up in the childhood etc". . I would say, it is best to IGNORE him and let him get back to his senses before he approaches you. It may take about 3 or 4 days or may be even a week for him to cool down with such a temper. Let it be and just try ignoring him as if he is a piece of furniture sitting there. If he instigates you into talking or arguing with him again. I..G..N..O..R..E and just walk out of the situation. Make it point clear to him that his behaviour cannot be tolerated. I know it is rude, but his behaviour is not courteous either.
You never know why his parents were doing what they did to him when he was young. May be he was behaving the same way and they were finding themselves in a helpless situation too. I don't think that should make him behave this way now.

2006-12-13 04:49:24 · answer #2 · answered by SP 4 · 0 0

You have done every possible thing that you can do to help him, I understand why you are becoming frustrated because this behaviour is so hard to deal with. You husband was never taught or socialized properly as a child on how to deal with his emotions. The only thing that you can do different if you want to save your marriage is to go for counselling yourself. This will help you to understand and in turn deal with these emotional tantrums. Good luck and God bless.

2006-12-13 04:08:21 · answer #3 · answered by Deirdre O 7 · 1 0

Be careful , watch out for yourself. Men like that do crazy things. If you have a gun get it out of the house now. Sounds like he really needs help! Until he got help , I would move out. You said you have tried everything! Maybe that would set him straight! If it were me and my husband was like that I would be more afraid of what they were thinking about doing when I was not watching. Being stressed out is one thing but to banging your head against the wall should tell you he has major dealings he has to deal with. And sometimes it's best if your not around while he makes amends with himself. To blame everything on your child hood , is a sorry excuse.

2006-12-13 04:44:00 · answer #4 · answered by hugs2all 2 · 0 1

do no longer textual content textile, call or talk to him until he gets his sh*t mutually. you ought to no longer be hectic approximately him. He must be hectic approximately you. He moved out. it incredibly is incredibly, incredibly complicated - yet adult men generally do no longer opt for what they are able to have incredibly. Make it greater complicated. shop any conversation short. substitute the locks. pass out with girlfriends (or guy acquaintances - he made the decsion that it incredibly is none of his business enterprise the day he left.) stay busy. residing nicely is the final revenge. continuously be coming and going. do no longer tell him you like him - whether it kills you. enable him hardship that he has lost you. quickly you would be getting vegetation and begged to enable him back in. then you definately can come to a determination if that's what you opt for.

2016-10-05 06:35:30 · answer #5 · answered by marceau 4 · 0 0

Their isn't anything you can do for this but understand that this is the way he is and deal with it If you love him set him down and tell him he isn't a little boy anymore and their isn't a need to shout at you and you can hear him just fine and when he does this it reminds you of a little boys temper tantum.

2006-12-13 17:16:54 · answer #6 · answered by Teenie 7 · 0 0

try to analyse where and when he gets annoyed with u.this may be due to the lack of self respect which he expects from the society .and during arguments never use " you ALWAYS are like this". U can use WHY YOU SOMETIMES do like this "

2006-12-13 04:51:05 · answer #7 · answered by kavitha s 2 · 0 0

No two persons can behave the same way even under identical circumstances. It seems that u want to have arguments with him but u want to hold him responsible if the same turn out to be ugly. Please avoid arguments with him.

2006-12-13 04:09:28 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

As you said, your husband needs some help. Until he comes to that conclusion himself and seeks help, thing are gonna remain like they are, sadly. If there is a close friend , family member, or a minister, might help if they talked to him.

2006-12-13 04:11:34 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

children that get beaten when there young have different problems some end up being abusive themselves hes afraid thats his only response is act immature

2006-12-13 04:10:38 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

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