My boyfriend is really loving and kind and I know he loves me so much but when he's having a bad day, or week in this case he doesn't tell me he loves me and he doesn't want to have sex. I'm sitting around ready to get some and he has no interest in me because he's so worked up over whatever's going wrong.
2006-12-13 04:02:29 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
in return this makes me grumpy and I get upset and say things I maybe shouldn't say. So why can't he just let me know everything's ok?
2006-12-13 04:03:17 · update #1
I got upset this morning because I wanted a little "somethin something" and he didn't. and I said A LOT of things that probably should not have been said and were not true just because I was upset. This didn't effect his feelings for me?
2006-12-13 04:16:55 · update #2
Mine is the same way. He barely wants to play and goof off when he's upset. And I also say some pretty stupid things when i'm upset. I think it's the whole fact that maybe we don't know how to make it better for him, so we panic a little. In that panic we tend to bring up situations in our heads that were not a big deal at the moment they happened. But they seem to make stupid sense when we're upset a little later in the future. Problems solved or not solved, there will always be little stupid things one or the other does to irk eachother without meaning to. Ya can't blame yourself for his unhappiness, otherwise he wouldn't come home to you at night.
2006-12-13 04:32:12 · answer #1 · answered by GrayMatters 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Occasionally looking at porn is no big deal. It can become a problem if it's more of an everyday thing, and it starts to become a substitute for the other person in the relationship. In this case, I would say the diminished sex drive has nothing to do with you or the porn. It's the stress. Stress can afect a man's sex drive the same way it affects a woman's sex drive. Once the stress at work eases up, his drive will come back. Be patient with him. Good luck.
2016-03-29 05:47:53 · answer #2 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think this may be one of those 50/50 things. I know that when I'm stressed I do want sex. Not the loving affectionate kind but the raw lust stress relief type. It may be that the stress is work related and he may be so caught up in it that he just doesn't know how to deal with it, mainly being concerned about losing his job. Whatever you do don't bug him about it some men just have to work through it on their own. You should probably ask if there is anything you can do to make him feel better but leave it at that if you don't get a positive response. Good luck & be patient.
2006-12-13 07:07:42 · answer #3 · answered by willy047 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is not just a male trait. Many women do the same thing when they have demanding jobs, or are mothers. If you have a stressful day, you are too tired for sex. You want to rest and sleep. Maybe you don't have enough to do yourself, so you are nagging the guy. Stop it. You'll ruin your relationship. Remember, if you love him, you have to be sympathetic when he needs space and rest. IF he has more bad days than good, though, for an extended length of time (months) then maybe you need a new guy. This one might not know how to "compartmentalize" his emotions and his life.
2006-12-13 04:07:06 · answer #4 · answered by Wiser1 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow have you never had a bad day and just wanted to be left alone? I am impressed. Usually when people are upset over things going wrong in their life they need to deal with them before they can make someone else feel secure and special.
Definitely you need to talk about issues on a daily basis but may-be patience and a listening ear will help him get through the bad day quicker.
2006-12-13 04:06:54 · answer #5 · answered by Sally V 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why can't he just get over things the best way he knows how without it making you insecure? Sometimes a man just needs to deal with things in his own manner.
You're obviously observant enough to realize this about your man. If you know he is "loving and kind and loves you so much", then why are you threatened by his silence? We as women have the "always make it better" gene....sometimes we need to let it BE. If you know he loves you, why is it so important to you at THAT moment to hear it?
Give him his space. Let him work it out and just let him know that you are then when he is ready to talk.
2006-12-13 04:27:10 · answer #6 · answered by Bathroom Graffiti 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Mine isn't like that... In fact, we have some of the best (what he refers to as) 'meticulous lovemaking' when he's stressed out.
I'm actually more the type to distance myself when stressed. I think it's a personality trait that is not gender-specific.
Just knowing when he's stressed out should help - try giving him a relaxing full-body massage. Maybe he'll relax enough to let it turn into something more.
2006-12-13 04:08:29 · answer #7 · answered by 40yomama 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Because allot of us men think we can do things on or own or else we are trying to process what our next move will be and so we get all wrapped up in our self and forget there are other people that care for us sounds like you care a great deal for this guy
2006-12-13 04:08:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
R u not doing the same when u r urself stressed. Probably he has not yet realised that a loving gf like u can make him relax and come out of stress.
2006-12-13 04:06:36 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
lets hook up, i love to have sex when i am stressed, gets my mind off of it! Kidding of course, what you need to do is help him with whatever he may be stressed out about, then maybe he will be more apt to go at it with you
2006-12-13 04:11:53 · answer #10 · answered by Brian 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋