My ex-girlfriend and I have known each other for 3 yrs now, but when we first met we dated for about 3 months before we found out that she was pregnant. I did the right thing and stayed with her. We hardly knew each other and things happened too fast between us. I have a 7yr old from another relationship that caused a lot of problems between her and me. She immediately started to be jealous of my 7 yr old. We argued a lot more than normal and a lot had to do with the different cultures, she's white and I'm Hispanic. We separated about 10 months ago, and we took family therapy together and that didn't work. I have tried everything in my power to try and fix our relationship but nothing satisfies my way of thinking, Now, we have a beautiful 2 yr old son and it kills my heart seeing him bouncing back and forth between parents. please I need some advice on what to do? do I sacrifice my happiness and my 7 yr old and go back to her to try and give the youngest son a family like lifestyle?
2006-12-13 03:44:12 · 5 answers · asked by hecc24 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Well some fo this story i've experienced and all i can say is that even a sacrifice of your happiness would only be a temporary fix... Kids can feel if their parent is happy or not and it kinda transfers to them. And as for your 7 year old, i think it would be harder on him since he's old enough to be used to your presence and too young to understand perhaps why you would make that choice...
It's a horrible situation and it's very delicate. You are stuck between the 2. Surely it all depends on your feelings for her... if you guys still love each other it's another story. But if not i don't think it would do anyone any good to go with them and sacrifice other things. Your 2 year old, it's heartbreaking to watch him swap place to place but so many parents do it now and kids, especially when they're young, they adapt alot better than we do. And i'm sure he'd prefer to see you in a happy mood every second week (for example) than seing you every day trying to survive a situation you don't want to be in. having kids is one thing but it's important also for you to be happy and have a life.
It's quite a sad thing that our ex can't accept your 7 year old since she has a kid herself... but appearently it's a common thing. I mean it may sound rude but she doesn't diserve for "her" family to be together by breaking up another. Anyhow, i hope this could help you a little... good luck.
2006-12-13 03:59:17 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel for you. I know how it feels. I'm white, married to a Mexican (who keeps playing me). Anyway, contrary to popular belief, staying together "for the children" is not the way to go. It leaves the child in the middle of feuding and fighting, and the "family lifestyle" you try to create is so dysfunctional, so unhappy, that the child would have been better off with you both apart, but happy, and getting to see both of you. Children, are very adaptable, by the way. Being apart doesn't mean your son will be screwed up forever. You can still be an awesome father to him. I don't know why she was jealous of the 7 year old, but I've always been very close to my step-daughters. They love me. At any rate, you have to do what's right for you. Your son will be just fine, as long as you remain closeby, and spend time with him.
2006-12-13 11:51:31 · answer #2 · answered by a_lot_smarter_now 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
getting a divorce does not mean that you are severing the relationship betewn you and your son. Sounds like you are really trying to mend it but some relationships cannot be mended . maybe the 7 yr old s mother had something to do with how the 7 yr old acted and made her mad . but anyway i would go ahead with the divorce and be done with it . good luck and god bless and happy holidays.
2006-12-13 13:58:11 · answer #3 · answered by Kate T. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A relationship is a give and take situation. Sounds like you have tried to work it out. SHE has to TRY too! Don't turn your back on your 7 year old. Remember, some relationships just can't be salvaged.
2006-12-13 11:52:05 · answer #4 · answered by HowdyThere 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well you 7 years it olde enough to understand it and you need to work things out with your gf the mom of 2 years old and tell her that you will see your older son once a week if that ok with her then there you go
2006-12-13 11:59:40 · answer #5 · answered by maya 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋