Ok ... MARRIED , women so who else gets mad when ?

Question

YOU ARE DOING ALLLLL U CAN TO LOWER UR HUSBAND'S
CHOLESTEROL . you are cooking allll the right foods etc... and he goes behind ur back to eat allll the wrong foods and doing everything he knows he is not supposed to......im sorry i guess im just venting,,, but im sooooo mad @ him .. does that happened to u?

happens !! sorry

Answer 1

Here is one of the big truths of all time...you cannot change anyone but yourself. You can stimulate someone to want to make a change but ultimately it is their choice whether they will change or not.

Believe me I know the truth of this. It was a cold hard reality day (lol) when I realized the only person I had control over was myself and my own reactions and choices.

You can make all the low cholesterol foods you want ( and I think it is great you are being so supportive of his health) and scream at him until the cows come home...(which won't really change anything)

BUT

Until that time that he truly wants to make a change there is really nothing you can do except to try to have peace of mind within yourself and love him for who he is....

I have a situation with my husband right now where he is finally making some changes that I think would have been better made a year ago. I WISH he had made them a year ago...lol....We would be in a better place individually and as a couple. BUT. He wasn't ready to make those choices until recently. And he has been very very very patient with my changes...not pressuring me but loving me for who I am and being supportive...He probably wishes some of the things I am changing now I did a year ago...lol

Keep being supportive and cooking for him, keep giving him info as to how much you love him and how his actions may cause you to lose him (which is your fear I think) and tell him that you want him to be around a long time. And hopefully he will find enough self love to want to take better care of himself.

Hope this helped....*smile*

Answer 2

Doesn’t sound like a marriage to me. He comes home from work and plops down in front of the TV. He stuffs his face with food and then has his ways with you before going to bed... the whole time refusing to talk at all. Granted it sounds like you do talk a lot and this may have become a bit of a defence mechanism to avoid talking too much. BUT what he is doing is uncalled for. He needs to realize that the two of you do need to communicate and that he is neglecting you. Those are long hours that he is pulling make him completely drained by the end of the day. He doesn’t want to talk because it’s late, then he shouldn’t have fooled around right before bed. He wants his desires filled... he should fulfil yours first. When he comes home from work, feed him and then say “Well... you like to watch TV in silence, so I’m going to bed. Goodnight dear.” If he wakes you up to get a bit of action, tell him you are tired from the house cleaning and cooking... you need your sleep and that this will be the way things are until he is willing to talk. Then go and sleep in the other room. He wants to have his cake and eat it too. He needs to realize that he needs to put an effort into the relationship as well. Or... you could take the most logical route, by taking him to a marriage counsellor because the marriage is already on the rocks. The fact is, is that you won’t be able to fix this issue by yourself. Holding a wildcat sex strike is probably going to make things worse. Getting a professional is the best course of action. They can hear all angles of the case and come to the best conclusion. I feel I know what that will be, but I some how doubt he would listen to some stranger off the internet... he sounds very headstrong and selfish. CyberNara

Answer 3

That's great that you are trying to help him. Unfortunately, you can't lower his cholesterol for him. If he makes the wrong decisions when he's away from you, there really isn't anything you can do about that. I know that's difficult because you love him and it does affect you as well if he has high cholesterol. All you can do is try to persuade him in a loving way and not nag him about it. Good Luck!!

Answer 4

You can't make a peson change (ESPECIALLY a man!)

Guys are funny about that - you are going out of your way to help him reduce his cholesterol level because you love him, but he sees it as you being a "nagging wife" and he resents it.

That's why he's sneaking around and eating high fat foods - he's probably saying to himself "I'll show her! I'm a GROWN MAN and I do what I want - no woman is going to tell me what to eat!" [yes, Hot Latina, men really do think that way - I know I do!]

So, the reality is, the only person who can stop your husband from eating high cholesterol foods is YOUR HUSBAND. You can't stop him, and he will resent you for trying. You're making him feel like he's your son and your his mom, and I KNOW he resents the hell out of that!

After all, he's a man, it's his body, and his heart - and if he doesn't care about having a heart attack, you're not going to be able to make him care.

You're making the mistake a LOT of women make - trying with all your heart to "change" or "save" a man - he's a grown man, and for men part of being a grown man is the right to do whatever we want.

Tell him that he can eat whatever he wants, and you won't pout or cry or give him the silent treatment - he's a grown man and he can do whatever he wants.

Keep cooking all the right foods - but just don't REMIND him that you're cooking those foods because of his heart - make it look like you're cooking those foods just because you think they taste good.

Once he knows that he can eat whatever he wants whenever he wants and he doesn't have to ask your permission first he WILL eat right!

Why?

Simple?

Because it will be HIS DECISION to eat right - he doesn't have you compromising his manhood by nagging him to eat right.

Men need to feel we're in control, not under the thumb of our woman!

Stop nagging him about eating right, and keep cooking the good food - once he know's he's free to do whatever he wants, he'll do the right thing!

Answer 5

I dont have that problem but I think he is being somewhat disrespctfull and selfish. You cant control what he eats 24/7 and if he wants to make the choice to eat a bag of chips over an apple than thats his own stupid fault it just sucks cause you love him and want to see him healthy and not dead! Although, I have no room to talk really. I smoke and my husband doesnt.... I could get sick and that doesnt just affect me it affects my whole family. So what it boils down to is you cant quit something you are not ready to on your own it is good though that you will give him the support he needs after all you have to eat the food too and you may not have a problem. Its good for you anyways!

Answer 6

What I do is just not check my cholesterol.

Then I don't even know if its high.

So then there is nothing to worry about.

A heart attack is really a good way to go. Better than cancer or getting old I think. Heart attack or stroke are usually pretty fast.

Answer 7

You are probably trying to get him to eat gross foods. Men love meat and cheese and eggs etc and if you are trying to make him stop you will likely not succeed.
btw I think most of the ideas people have about how to lower cholesterol are baloney. My vegeterian father in law's cholesterol was way over 200 and kept going up no matter how much tofu and oat bran he ate, while mine is below 100 in spite of McDonald's galore and 20 eggs a week.

Answer 8

If he gets to feelin bad enuff he'll stop eating all the bad foods that raises his cholestrol....
dont get so mad at him, he's your husband & not your child, you cant make him eat right all the time...If he treats ya good and you love him, tolerate the fact that food (usually bad) is America's #1 addiction...he could have a much worse problem, eh? Smile!

Answer 9

Good for for you for trying anyway... but realize that it takes two to make things work and your husband doesn't want to try. Its the sort of thing where if he doesn't feel bad with the high cholesterol, then there this no problem. It happens all the time. The best solution is to get your husband on a statin drug program after a visit with his Dr. and keep trying...

Answer 10

You are doing everything you can. Just make sure he has good coverage in case anything happens. (life insurance) Sorry to sound crass but if he won't try to live then you had better be prepared for his death. (let him know this)

My father is this way. He eats wrong and smokes and has been told by the doctor to stop. He won't. At least my mother, who has cared for him for 40 years, will be looked after when he dies.