I found porn on my computer but dont know if i can believe him...?

Question

I found porn in my computers Search history and i confronted my husband about it, and said it was pop-ups, and someone told me that pop up DO NOT show up in the " search History ", and i am having a really hard time believing him about this. He never does these kinds of things, and we have a 1 year old little boy. and if this is true then i am gone. and it was not just simple porn, it was much worse. This is so hard, i love my husband so much, he is my best friend and i really dont know what to believe. Any advise would be greatly apreciated, thank you

hmmm, why you ask why i dont like my husband looking at porn ? um maybe cos i am his wife, and marriage is supposed to be sacred, i dont remember saying in my vows i vow to love, honor, cherish, and on the side look at naked people, So you tell me is that love , honor and cherish ?? Why do u have to be so rude ?

Answer 1

Honey, if its in the history, he's been there!

Answer 2

I have been through the same thing sweetie, and let me tell you from personal experience, he is lying. There is no way that it would be in the history if he wasn't looking on these sites. My ex tried to tell me the same bs, but I knew better. I left him only 5 months after we bought a house together and I had to start over. It has been a year and a half since I left, and it was the best thing I could've ever done. He now admits that he was watching porn every chance he got and that nothing was ever going to change that. There are men out there that have respect for women and don't watch porn. I can promise you that he is lying... you deserve better girl. Email me if you need more advise at [e-mail]

Answer 3

1st, don't panic, although he is probably lying about the fact that he didn't actively seek it. I have seen porn displayed in pop-ups, so that can explains why some of that data might be present, and it might show in the history.

Check the time and date that those sites were visited. If you're using Internet Explorer, you can display the history, then right click on an entry to view when the site was last visited. Are the times occuring when your husband is alone with the computer?

Many men, even good men, have a problem with Internet Pornography. It is an addiction. If you determine that your husband suffers from this addiction, work with him to correct it. It could lead to a few painful moments, but when you have a problem, you have to work to fix it.

If you determine that he is viewing Internet porn, maybe you can seek counciling for it at your Church.

If your PC is in a place where it can be viewed privately, maybe it can be moved to a public space where he would be less inclined to view that kind of material?

Also, there are ISPs that specialize in 'sanitizing' the data that flows through your Internet connection. At my church, we use an ISP called Integrity Online to provide filtered Internet. This ISP delivers their service through the telco's DSL service, so it is plenty fast even though it is filtered.

As hard as it is, don't ignore it. And don't beat your husband up. Help him overcome a problem. (if he in fact has one).

Answer 4

The first year of being a parent is very hard.
You are changing and he is changing to become the parents you will be for the rest of your lives.
Maybe he is missing what you once were before.
Maybe he is missing what he was before becoming a father.

I find your statement "if this is true then i am gone" very disturbing. You need to left go of the these absolute statements. Will you treat your child this way? If your child does something that is not per se wrong, but that offends you, will you stop being his mother?
I've seen too many families fall apart because the parents stop being wives/husbands/lovers to each other and become parents 24/7. Your husband needs you to be his wife NOT his mother. If you act like his mother he will act like a big kid. People in part play the roles other give them.

Answer 5

This happened to be just a few months ago! I have trusted my husband completely and found some stuff on our home computer. It was accessed only once, meaning only that one day I found he had checked out a couple of sites. They were not horrible but I found he had completed a registration for one of those two websites. The site was never accessed again but the idea of him completed the form, freaked me out! I was ready to walk, pregnant and all. Couldn't belive this was coming from him! He is not the type to ever lie or be sneaky, doesn't cry or show much emotion but that night he was cyring and on his knees. Promissing it was something stupid, never thought to do anything with it. He said that since the site asked for a credit card and he didn't put anything, he had not finalized the registration. Long story short, the computer history proved that it was only that one time, that what he was saying was true but it took a LONG time for me to feel better about it. I had to comfront him about it and he had to be willing to answer any and all of my questions over and over again until I felt better. Speak with your husband, ask him all the questions you need, if it was a one time deal like with mine, I would work on it. Understand that we all at some point do stuff that doesn't make sense and really put not thought into it. If he has been visiting these sites often then you might need to go to a counselor and figure out what is missing, what is not there for him that makes him want to do it. Good luck!

Answer 6

Sorry to hear Shannon. Porn can't just show up like that. The sites were accessed. Between the 2 people here I found out the hard way. One being my husband. The other being my son who my husband has great influence on! And yes I am leaving him too. Not just over that. For the disrespect in more ways than one. Do it for you and your child .My son is no longer here now. He is grown. This happened of late. Being a total of twice in the last 6 years. Happening once. I gave the benefit of the doubt. Twice. Shame on me.

Answer 7

It is easy enough to mistakenly go to a porn site when searching for something else online. I wouldn't make a big deal about it. If he is indeed your best friend, and he has proven trustworthy in the past, then why are you concerned?

I guess the real question is...how many links did you find? One? Two? Three? Twenty five? if it is just a couple, then he is probably telling the truth. If its 25, then obviously hes looking at naked pictures.

Let it be for now, wait and see, and if there is a real problem, you will know soon enough...don't make a mountain out of a molehill.

Answer 8

What do you mean by "much worse"? What's "simple porn" to you? There are wide-ranging opinions here for sure.

Pop-ups result from viruses that almost always are a result of visiting similar sites in the past. I would put money on it that he has been there. Of course he lies about it - if he thinks you're leaving what choice does he have? If he tells you the truth, you leave. If he lies, maybe.

If every wife who's hubby looks at porn left them the world would be 95% divorced people. Your hubby is a normal guy to love porn we all do. As long as it is not hurting his ability to pay attention to you (and hopefully helping it) than it should not be a problem.

I feel you are likely grossly overreacting. If he has kiddie porn or animals blood or poop play or stuff then I think you should force him to see a therapist about it. If it is what many women consider to be extreme (i.e. group or public sex, tying people up, etc) than I again refer you to the 95% club.

Answer 9

Think of porn as a curiosity. I know it seems odd but I don't think you should divorce over your husband viewing porn sites. It quite possibly could have been on an email link, he clicked it and the site came up, not knowing what it was. Either way, sometimes ones curiosity gets the best of them. He obviously knows that you are upset with him. Make it very clear you disapprove of this behavior and it has to stop. Maybe seek out counseling but don't dissolve your relationship over it. Not to say, its guaranteed but you 1 yr old son will probably seek out porn on his own when he gets older, its just the male curiosity and strong urge to view a nude woman. I would think that most men have viewed porn at some point in their life. Wouldn't you feel foolish if you leave your husband and 13 yrs from now you find little Billy looking at porn on the Internet anyway?

Answer 10

Pop ups do not show up in search history.

Was it just one entry in the history? That could be an accident.
I don't think it is true now, but at one time if you typed www. whitehouse dot com, it was a porn site.

If he was really a "porn surfer" you would find a heck of alot more than a single entry in the history. If you love him and he is your best friend, it is not worth leaving him over, as long as you let him know you believe him, but if it ever happens again...

He will know you are serious and it shouldnt happen again. I promise, if he were an online perv, there would be proof all over that computer.

Answer 11

Yes, he did visit those sites and he either doesnt know how to clear history or thinks you have no idea of computers. Pop ups dont get listed in History of sites visited.
While the situation is sad since you love him so much and dont want to lose him, you should talk it over with him and find out why he needs ot resort to porn. If you have noticed a marked change in his sexual behaviour with you of late, it would perhaps indicate he is not happy with the sex he gets. If he is a person who loves you, like you do him, both of you can sit together and work to find a solution. An understanding approach towards him would be conducive to bring back the joy in your life.
Wish you all the best.