I wrote a message earlier about my husband who has bad breath, and is greasy. I got alot of responses, but most people said "suggest he take a shower and brush his teeth. I have thought of that a long time ago. He does brush his teeth and he showers daily after working at the sewer treatment plant, but the odor is still there. He sweats so much in bed that my new bed has mildew stains where he sleeps. Even though I change the sheets frequently. I don't want to put a plastic mattress cover cause that would make the sweating worse. I know it is petty to be turned off by such things, but I have a problem having sex with someone who leaves mildew marks. He also has alot of sexual fetishes that I just can't get over. I have asked if he is gay, but he denies. What can I do I just don't want to sleep with this man any more.
2006-12-13 03:10:36 · 18 answers · asked by cadjsm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That is gross... maybe you should leave him. Usually I don't recommend leaving your partner... but If it has come to you asking if he is gay... then there is definately something more to the problem.
And I would put a plastic cover over your mattress anyway... and maybe sleep in another room.
2006-12-13 03:16:07 · answer #1 · answered by I am Crystal S. 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
*Insist* he get a new job--offer to buy him a new wardrobe if he does. Completely new from scratch, as in take *ALL* of the old stuff out and *BURN IT* Divorce him if he doesn't take your offer seriously...take pictures of the mildewed sheets, some of his own dirty laundry, and show him graphically what he's doing to the environment around him (he may have blinders on regarding the actual sheets and clothes).
If he takes your offer seriously, you may end up having to replace all the towels and washcloths he uses as well....fungal issues can be that hard to be rid of.
In the meantime:
--replace as much of his current wardrobe as you can afford to. Run his clothes through the washer *twice* before drying them, first time with cold water (which removes some stains better than hot, as it keeps them from setting), second time with hot water and as much bleach as your *senses* can tolerate. Will it damage the clothes long term? Yes. It will also get most of the smell out.
--Watch the guy brush his teeth and shower. Yes, he will hate you for it, but you have to be anal and see for yourself....is he brushing his *whole entire mouth*, or just his front teeth? Is he actually using soap over his *whole body* including his pubes? Tell him early and often that you will NOT let him leave the house until or unless he gets *everything*. If need be, invest in a trained attack dog to back you up.
--Until he gets the new job, his basic hygiene before leaving the house should look something like this: A) He brushes his teeth, with a Flouride toothpaste, *twice*, B) He uses a *strong* mouthwash--rinse AND gargle--(at least a version of Scope if not Listerine), *twice*, C) in the shower, he washes his hair with a 2-in-1 shampoo-conditioner combo, *twice*, and D) in the shower, he wets himself under the spray, lathers up with soap all over, rinses, lathers up *again*, and rinses *again*. And then, when he gets out, he uses a *very* strong deodorant, armpits, pubes *and torso*.
The goal is to go for a 2x2: go through the above routine with him *once* before he leaves the house for work, then the *second time* IMMEDIATELY after coming home from work. Each day that he works. He won't like it. But tell him if he wants to sleep *at home* at all, as in, in the same *House* as you at all, never mind in your bed, he *will* do this until he gets a new job. Again, you may need a trained attack dog, and or lots of friends or a weapon to back you up.
And no, he isn't gay, I don't think he *could* be that and still be this slovenly. *IF* that is indeed the issue, and you're not just trolling....I mean, why bring up his sex life at all if it isn't working?
2006-12-13 03:38:13 · answer #2 · answered by Bradley P 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I would seek madical help. I would be willing to bet it has something to do with his work. If you dont want to sleep with him that is bad and I dont blame you. It isnt good to be with someone you cant stand and even though he may be a great guy, lets face it you need to be able to stand being with him! But is it because of who he is and his fetishes that turn you off, or just the his grubbyness? Mabey he can get a new job if the Dr. says it could be the reason for his prob.
2006-12-13 03:28:47 · answer #3 · answered by runzwsizorz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Change the soaop he uses. Try Dial Antibacterial soap bar and ask him to shower at home (again). You can try deodorant soap bars such as Irish Spring. Tougher grease? Make him use LAVA soap and loofas.
He has to dry thoughly and wear deodorant afterwards. Also, encourage him to use POWDER, such as Gold bond, to keep him dry.
Set the thermostat temperature at 69 degrees and use cotton sheets, intead of poliester ones.
Encourage him to wear clean cotton pjs to go to bed.
For breath, he is going to start to FLOSS. Most bacteria that causes bad breath hide in between the teeth, Then he can brush his teeth with Colgate Moutwash tootpaste, the one with the white strips of mouth wash. Follow with Listerinne mouth wash. Keep mint gum handy.
Wash his clothes with Arm and Hammer laundry detergent to fight odor on fabric. Use Clorox to wash his white garments and keep then satinitized nad bacteria free. Make sure that you dry his clothes in the DRYER, in high setting to eliminate the moisture that is causing the bacteria amd mold to grow.
I'm so sorry about yoru situation honey,. I really feel for you.
I hope this helps.
Best of luck
2006-12-13 03:20:54 · answer #4 · answered by Blunt 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ewwww, that's in order that bloody disgusting lol! is that this even a real tale? God, my hubby showers two times conventional in simple terms like I do. to no longer be gross, yet are you 2 even intimate? because of the fact there is not any way i'd desire to be with somebody who smells like that! you ought to have a actual severe communicate and tell him to tug his socks up.
2016-10-05 06:32:16 · answer #5 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe you need a stronger soap. Also use Listerine w/ alcohol. Also, give him a fan so that he sweats less. Maybe the temp. is too high. His sweating seems pretty bad, consult a doctor. He may need to shower 2x a day due to his job.
2006-12-13 03:14:07 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
He might have a medical problem. Why don't you suggest him to visit a doctor and a dentist? Just remember, all relationship depends on communication. You can try to talk to him about this, and maybe both of you can figure out a solution to this problem. Good luck!!
2006-12-13 03:14:56 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
well i would suggest him looking else where for a better job if this is going to cost him his marraige. I mean i understand, the way you explain it would be hard for anyone to sleep next to someone who smells due to the job they do. Maybe he really should start looking to get out of their. is this a possiblity? talk to him about it.
2006-12-13 03:15:26 · answer #8 · answered by Army Love 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like a case for divorce court. Irreconcilable differences.
2006-12-13 03:13:29 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but I wouldn't allow someone like that in my house let alone my bed.
2006-12-13 03:16:32 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋