My husband had an affair 25 years ago with a Foster child that was living with us...I took it really hard ...He left me and his two sons for her...we seperated for 3 years and then got back together as he said that he would change and he said he Loved me...come to find out he was still seeing her for a few years after he came back home...I just found that out and am really hurt...I did question him and he said that it wasn't true but the way he treats me I sometimes wonder...I don't have anywhere to go ...we just bought a Condo and I thought that things were going great...I am disabled with a back injury which leaves me in a wheelchair..I am still a women with feelings ...any help would be appreciated
2006-12-13 03:08:45 · 14 answers · asked by Maggiemay 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I don't think anyone can give you an answer since it is a very personal situation and only you know what would be best for you. I can give you some advice, listen to your heart first of all. Then take a piece of paper and write pros and cons of staying together both for you and your children (their ages may be more important if they are younger). If you are religious, pray for God to give you guidance that is the best advice. I hope things work out for you and your family which ever way you decide.
2006-12-13 03:15:08 · answer #1 · answered by Chris C 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl please, there is always somewhere to go it all depends on how bad you want to leave. If you don't feel like your being treated the way you should be, start making your exit plan! Time is something you can never get back and life is too short to waste it with someone you can't trust.
There are many websites online that can help you prepare for a divorce before actually filing, etc... Also as a person with a disability you may be able to secure benefits to assist you that others don't have access too.
2006-12-13 11:17:42 · answer #2 · answered by niknac 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know how this could rip your heart out. I would have found it impossible to forgive. And have a feeling that you were also unable to do so, which is understandable. Do you receive any kind of compensation from your back injury? That may be one way to at least help occupy your mind....By coming up with a solution to become self sufficient. Thus you have an opportunity to come up with a solution both for your mind AND a personal goal to be rid of him. You sound like a very strong person in all respects. I have all the confidence that you strong determination will give you a workable solution to benefit yourself! tremendously!
2006-12-13 11:24:28 · answer #3 · answered by iyamacog 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I understand, I am in the same boat, not in a wheelchair but disabled with a back injury. I have no where to go either. With me and my daughter. He takes all the money and I'm stuck. I've gotten myself into this situation and am working like hell to get out. I will - I know it.
No one should have to live like we do, all I can say is try to get some money together and get a place of your own. That is my intentions, it will be difficult, but it can be done. Good luck to you, if you ever need to talk, I'm here.
2006-12-13 11:21:20 · answer #4 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
1st things first stop blaming urself it's not ur fault u were not the cause of ur husband unfaithfulness now my bible tells me if ur content being with him then stay. my bible also says if some ones ask ur forgiveness 70x7 n one day then u forgive them but u never forgave him from the first round yes u took him back but u didn't truly forgive him. and u never forgot what he did and u probably brought it up a few times while u argued. sweet heart if u love him then let go of the past and move past the present u can't stop him he's a grown man but prayer can. and my advise to u is except God into ur life and put him in charge of ur marriage and stand still and see the salvation of God because God is the only one that can restore u and ur husband and ur family. He's the God of second chances let go and let God u've tried everything else and it has failed. Now try JESUS.
God loves u and so do i
2006-12-13 11:20:32 · answer #5 · answered by baby gurl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Couragious!!!!! You do not need him to take care of you! Don't keep putting yourself thru this. And once you realize that you are a strong woman and can do it without him then you will know and forgive him but never take him back. You will be able to do it, just stand strong as a woman who is confident and independant and not someone who is just in a weelchair. Good Luck and pray to God everyday before you make your decisions, praying to God gives us the strength to make the right decisions because he is a God of Love.
2006-12-13 11:22:04 · answer #6 · answered by twinki 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is obvious that he has no respect for you, and he doesn't deserve your trust. There cannot be love without respect and trust.
I suggest getting out. Contact your family and friends and tell them what is going on. The people who care about you will give you as much help as they are able to. Just make sure they know how much you appreciate it.
2006-12-13 11:16:17 · answer #7 · answered by Ritz Grimarren 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you mean you have no where to go? If you leave him he will have to pay you alimony and you don't have to go anywhere because that new condo will be yours! If you are disabled you should qualify for disability benefits to suppliment your alimony. If I were you I would get a consult with an attorney and see what you are entitled to.
2006-12-13 11:16:37 · answer #8 · answered by Cyber Stalker 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Read what you wrote. You are stressing out because "I sometimes wonder", "I thought that things were going great".
Sounds like you fear losing what you have so for what ever reason you are wanting act like you have already lost it to maybe show yourself you can still survive.
Do you really have to lose everything to convince yourself you can survive?
2006-12-13 11:48:11 · answer #9 · answered by snack_daddy10 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you plan on staying wth him then you have to forgive. I would get counseling inorder to work through these issues.
2006-12-13 11:18:00 · answer #10 · answered by miss lady 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋