It's a bit of a long story, but my new husband and I are having some troubles. Anyway, we've talked about a problem we had last week and its okay but not quite forgotten except when he's drunk.
So far he's had two christmas parties and he's treated me with no respect, not coming home when he says, yelling at me over some paranoid delussion he gets and etc.
I am not happy at all, and we had a terrible fight when he got home legless last night. This morning I'm far from happy, but he has apologised and said he knows he's been acting like a A Hole, and that he'll not go to the main party which is tomorrow night.
Now that things are a little less frosty on my side he's said he's going.
I don't want to make him not do things, but on the same card I don't want him to think I am a pushover. I can't let this behaviour happen again and if he goes he'll know that he just have to put up with some cold shoulder and yelling but otherwise I'll get over it????
2006-12-13 02:46:14 · 29 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Not invited to the parties, employees only. He works for a large investment bank.
One christmas party included a trip to the strip club, all expenses paid!
2006-12-13 03:05:16 · update #1
He actually has a go at me about being too laid back i.e. you didn't text me enough. This is even is the one out.
I simply don't want to be treated with disrespect, I really don't think he'd cheat but i feel like he's almost doing this on purpose.
I don't have many friends, I am from another country and most of mine have gone home now. I have a few who live 1.5 hours away so its hard to see them.
I work with boring old men.
2006-12-13 03:27:25 · update #2
bondage
2006-12-13 02:48:19 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Things don't sound good from your end. You should consider taking a break and see how you go. Don't put up with it. I don't know how to discipline a 25 year old man but I think he sounds as though he is not ready for marriage or a relationship. He is still a teenager at heart. Be a strong woman and stand your ground and do what ever is best for you.
2006-12-13 03:15:03 · answer #2 · answered by Island Girl 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Except for the 25 year old part, sounds like my exhusband. It started out that way at first then it just got worse. As the years passed he'd come home more belligerent and angry...to the point where he'd threaten to kill me over something he would think I said or how HE THOUGHT I was thinking. The last 3 years of our marriage he ruined my Christmas and other holidays that called for a "party" I got to where I would stay over at my mom's or my friend's until I was sure he had passed out. I stopped celebrating Christmas 2 years ago. I'm on my own again, happy, and went and bought a Christmas tree this year. Life is good.
Word of advice...punishing a grown man for his actions, in a way, is you taking responsibility for those actions. You have no reason to take any responsibility for his stupid, ignorant, selfish actions.
2006-12-13 02:57:12 · answer #3 · answered by gypsy g 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
as a newly married couple you should not be fighting and falling out over stuff like this hun.
He sounds like an extremely selfish and undisciplined unconsiderate man. Hes very childish to say he apologises - promises you one thing and then goes back on his word when you're ok again.
You need to sit him down - tell him this is not what you signed up for with married life and that it hurts you thats hes being so pigheaded over things. One christmas party is enough for most people a year so I dont see why he has to attend every one hes being invited to!
If after telling him all this he still insists on going - dont be so forgiving - let him stew and worry about what hes done. I wouldnt go stooping to his level by heading out with the girls every night as then you'll be no better than him! . Just play it very cool - explain your reasons behind feeling this way and point out that if problems are occuring this early on in the marriage due to his selfishness that you dread what will lie ahead in years to come.
I reallyhope you get around this. xx
2006-12-13 02:57:03 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Lay the law down and tell him this is how things are going to be from here on out. Tell him clearly how he is to treat you and all of your other expectations/rules. When he breaks a "rule", take him the the bedroom and wear his *** out with a paddle or crop. If he balks, just tell him either submit to your punishment or leave the house. Once you get him to submit to his punishment once...KEEP IT UP..and don't ever let him off the hook for bad behavior. There are other things you can do also...you can deny him sex or at a minimum make him BEG you for it. Follow through on these problems and before you know it, he'll be fully trained by you and you'll never have to worry about being neglected or disrespected at a party ever again.
2006-12-13 02:56:26 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Its not a good marriage when all is said and done really is it?- c'mon, be honest here. Under the disguise of "respect/disrespect", you are trying to mould him into what you would like him to be, it may be your idea of the perfect man, it may be something else-i don't know...what i do know is that under the disguise of Christmas-and all its attendant partying-your new hubby is rebelling AGAINST your ideas to turn him into something he is not and can never be. Seems to me you have no respect for each other-there is no "gelling together" here-no bonds in the making. You won't be anybodies doormat-which is good, whilst he is happy being laidback-which is also good...you should work off each other though, and try to adapt to each other's way's and each others company a little more...otherwise i see this marriage going down the pan pretty quick.
2006-12-13 21:22:42 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frosty, my dear, I am afraid it doesn't sound good and you know it.
I think that it is normal to be distant to a man acting that way.
Husband or not husband, even when a friend isn't keeping his, her word, it is not easy to get over...
So, I can imagine you are at a loss there, as a woman, I don't feel OK with that story.
Too much alcohol and no respect, you say it yourself...
I just feel for you and don't know what you should do, honestly.
2006-12-13 02:57:03 · answer #7 · answered by klaartedubois 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I had a man just like that. It was not fun when he came home. I got advise from my aunt.. She said that if you are afraid that you should leave. Cause if he did it once and you did nothing then you are already a push over. It was hard cause we have two kids together but i did it. I am so happy now.
I know that i don't know your whole situation but NO ONE deserves to be treated with disrespect.
2006-12-13 02:56:45 · answer #8 · answered by kitten_cokacola 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Why don't you just let him do as he pleases? Go with him to the party....and if he ignores you....don't sweat it....become the life of the party! Have a few drinks and try to enjoy yourself without him. Mingle and make friends.Dance provocitivly with one of his co-workers. That will turn his whole world upside down. Then when he goes to pull you out of the fun....just react like he does and tell him to stop being a party pooper. If you can't beat em join em !
2006-12-13 02:56:23 · answer #9 · answered by Pinkie_&_the_Brain 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You can't control every aspect of someones life. that's not a marriage and most men will not stay in that.
everyone needs to go out and blow off steam. Maybe you should too.
You can't exist being joined at the hip.
good luck with that.
2006-12-13 03:15:21 · answer #10 · answered by a1tommyL 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can't believe he is putting up with this rubbish. You have got the makings of a good "gimp" there.
You should start off by dressing him in a French maid's outfit and making him do menial work in the house.
Then slowly progress to the heavier stuff- whip, etc.
2006-12-13 02:50:18 · answer #11 · answered by Not Ecky Boy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋