My husband just found out through a private DNA test that his son is not his. His name is on the birth certificate and he has been paying support for 10 years and being a part of his son's life. When he finally decided to have the test done this worst fear was revealed that he is not the father. Some co-workers have told him that she can still get child support because he is on the birth certificate and has been supporting him under and order where originally a DNA test was not requested. That we will incure alot of expense because we will have to pay and have his name took off the birth certificate and everything. Just wondering if anyone has been in this situation. I will be pissed if he continues to have to pay.
Hope to hear from someone soon with some answers
2006-12-13 02:15:10 · 17 answers · asked by MommaG 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He will not stop loving him, And we will continue to get him for visitation just not as set by the child support order. He wants his son to know the truth and just doesn't want to take finances out of our home and for our family to support a child financialy that is not his. She is who was unfaithful in the marriage and should have to make due financially
2006-12-13 02:26:28 · update #1
ok last time I am going to add details, I am not behind this but I do support my husband. And yes he has been a dad not just money bags but there has always been lots of drama concerning this situation with the ex and it would be great not to have to deal with any of it again, what we decided to do would be what "we" decided to do not what she makes happen at her time to be a convinence to her as she hangs the little guy over my husbands head. I would love all the drama to stop and for us basically paying her instead of the money going to the child anyway. When he got older and it could be fully explained then his son could make his own decsion as to what he felt of these actions.
But no its not right to be made to believe a child is yours and get attached and then know that all of the drama could have been avoided had the test been done in the first place. She pushed him to finally get the answer and now he has it.
2006-12-13 02:41:11 · update #2
You can go to court and present the DNA evidence. The major results of this will be the following.
1) Your husband will no longer be required to pay child support.
2) They do not actually change the name on the birth certificate unless the mother does it later but they do file papers that officially remove any parental responsibilities and rights of your husband in regards to this child.
3) Linked to number 2. You husband will no longer have any rights in regards to this child. So it would be impossible to have visitation right after this.
If you can prove that the mother knew there was the possibility that the child was not his and attempted to conceal this from him from the beginning. This is not as easy as it sounds. You could in a separate court case sue her for the money he has paid over the past 10 years.
The cost for 1 thru 3 will be minimal because the evidence is cut and dry. It will not require any prep time or argument. $1,000 or less by any lawyer with a sign outside an office can assist you. If you seek to recover the past 10 years of child support then you will be looking at a much more expensive proposition.
Just a point of clarification for everyone. Fathers do not actually sign the certificate. So saying that he signed it so he is responsible does not make any sense.
2006-12-13 02:44:46 · answer #1 · answered by Brian 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Well any healthy man can be a father, but it takes someone special to be a dad. This being said, the question you both need to ask yourself is, "Having spent all this time and money for this child, and having been involved with their life, what influence am I having?"
If he has been a important part of the child's life, then the DNA makes no difference for the "daddy" part. However if he has only been the "money bags" as most child support orders usually are, then it's both of yours best interest to end this farce as soon as possible. It will involve the courts that over see the case, and also lawyers as well.
2006-12-13 02:32:44 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am sure that if he takes this to court, they will discontinue his child support payments. The question I have is this - are you behind this - I mean are you the one who is fighting to get his name taken off the birth certificate? If you are, maybe you might want to think about this for a minute. This child has only known one father - your husband. To be a father, that does not mean it has to be a biological thing. If a man is there for a child, loves him, spends time with him, supports him - that is a real father. Not a name on a piece of paper! He has been there for this child for 10 years! That is a father! To take away someone from a 10 year old child would be detrimental to that child. He would be scarred for life! How could you even think that taking away this child's "father" is the right thing? How could you be so selfish! How does this relationship harm your relationship with your husband? Is it just the money thing? Probably and if it is - you are probably the most selfish person I have heard of. You are taking away the only father that 10 year old boy has ever known! Please - let it be! Let that little boy have a father - that being your husband? Surely you can't blame this on the child. He is not at fault! I think you and your husband had better think long and hard about this one!
2006-12-13 02:29:47 · answer #3 · answered by country girl 006 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
From what you’ve said it appears they were married? The answer to your question depends on your state laws. There are a FEW states (Arkansas, for example) that will allow an ex-husband to dispute paternity and be relieved of FUTURE child support payments if a DNA test proves they’re not the biological father. But in MOST states, if you don’t dispute paternity during the divorce process, you’re scr*wed, because you're not allowed to go back later and do it.
But in response to your statement that “he wants his son to know the truth”…WHY? This child considers this man to be his father. That’s all that matters to the child. It sounds like all that matters to you is the money. Basically, the message your sending to the child by ‘telling him the truth’ is that money is more valuable than he is. Personally, I think that’s sad. And by the way, if you do live in a state that will allow your husband to dispute paternity at this point, chances are he won't get visitaiton. He'll be completely cut out of the child's life.
2006-12-13 02:41:33 · answer #4 · answered by kp 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
He will have rights whether or not you put the name on the birth certificate. He can file for paternal rights or visitation rights and through the court they will determine he is the father. It sounds like you are bitter towards him. Sorry to say, you chose the wrong guy to have sex with and have a baby with. You knew how he acts, and you still chose to sleep with him. Now your baby will suffer. Do not put the fathers name on the birth certificate if you don't want to, but don't think he has no rights until he is proven unfit by the court. Best wishes Samira
2016-03-29 05:41:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, he does not have to pay... he is not the father. All he has to do is schedule a Child support hearing and then show the results at the hearing. He may even be able to get the money back from her. This is all his choice though. Why take away a father a child has know their whole life?
2006-12-13 02:19:28 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋
He will have to go back to court to have it resolved. In some instances the mother can be ordered to repay the money that has been paid to her for support of the child.
It will cost some money to have it undone because it will have to be handled by a lawyer.
2006-12-13 02:26:52 · answer #7 · answered by snippers72 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My father-in -law just found out his youngest son wasn't his and he decided to continue to pay the support and to receive visitation because he didn't stop loving him he wanted what was best for his son
2006-12-13 02:19:45 · answer #8 · answered by fluttergirl2004 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
being part of childs life for 10 yrs. is part of being a father. Being a father is more than a piece of paper.
2006-12-13 02:22:15 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You will have to go to court and submit your DNA evidence. Ask for a cease in child support.
2006-12-13 02:21:41 · answer #10 · answered by girlajeepin 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋