not that I am lonely yet. Just a simple question. My Fiancee passed away 7 months ago and people are trying to hook me up with different people telling me to get out more. I just want some advice on what to say. I know I am not ready to date anybody and don't even plan on it for a while. but how soon is too soon?
2006-12-13 02:04:32 · 22 answers · asked by chrystalbryeans 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Depends on how long you'd been with your fiancee, and what your relationship meant to you. You should probably consider dating again when you're satisfied that you wouldn't be entering a new relationship with a lot of unresolved emotional baggage. That wouldn't be fair to anyone new in your life, and it wouldn't work out well for you either.
I was in a 15 year relationship, and after it ended I waited almost four years before I dated again. But then we also have children, and their well-being was a part of the reason I waited that long.
But even had they not been in my life, I'm sure I would have waited at least 2-3 years.
But it's an individual thing. Every circumstance and person is different. The main thing is to be honest with yourself about where you're at.
2006-12-13 02:11:56 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First tell those people that you know they mean well and you appreciate their concern, but when you feel you are ready to date again you will. Getting out and dating other men after you suffered a loss like that does take time, I know cuz I lost my bf a couple years back to cancer and took me nearly 2 weeks to stop crying everyday and I still really haven't dated because I put my energy into the wrong man. My ex but that's a different story.
Be glad that your fiancee is no longer suffering in this world and that he has moved on to a place with no more pain and is waiting to see you again someday. At least you had precious time with him on this earth and maybe he is waiting to help you find the right man for you. That's what I hope for because I think mine did that for me to see the bad one for what he was.
Give yourself time and when the right person to to date comes along you will know. I didn't say commit right away but have a good time.
God Bless you sister.
2006-12-13 10:18:14 · answer #2 · answered by ♦ Phoenix Rising♦ 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I am in a similar situation because my husband of 8 years passed away 7 months ago too and one of my friends is trying to get me to go out with this guy he knows. I just told him that I am really not ready for anything right now and I would let him know when I am. It takes time to get over such a trauma and like me you will know when you are ready to move on. Take care of yourself, love yourself, and remember your fiancee would want the best for you. I apologize for you loss, but keep your head up and just put one foot in front of the other and the days will go by.
2006-12-13 20:36:23 · answer #3 · answered by Dee 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Its never too soon to fill the void in ur heart. I would just meet people, there is no harm i that. But find ur own dude dont let people control who, and when u should date. when u ready to choose a new mate, it will happen. But dont sit n the house and let ur feelings control u too. U will go through it reminiscing about the man u was going to marry and it will be hard to function at times so take as much time as u need.
2006-12-13 10:09:44 · answer #4 · answered by steelababi 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off, I'm really sorry for your loss. A close friend of mine loss her fiancee about 2 years ago and it's an impossible situation. I would say that remember the people who are trying to set you up aren't trying to hurt you, they're trying to help you in their own way. They probably just want to see you happy again. So I would just be honest with them and say that you aren't ready for that yet, and you'll decide when you are.
2006-12-13 10:09:01 · answer #5 · answered by Elsie 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It is "too soon," if you are still wondering if it is "too soon." Once you no longer wonder if it is "too soon," then it will have been long enough.
There will come a point in time when you get back in the dating game because you just want to. It won't be because you are trying to let go of your painful loss or to thwart loneliness, it will be because your heart wants to share itself with someone else. Good luck.
2006-12-13 10:09:43 · answer #6 · answered by BookLady 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that when your ready you'll know and if you feel you still need time then I think people should honor that, but if you feel your ready then I say go for it I don't think your fiancee would want you to be lonely and miserable.
2006-12-13 10:08:50 · answer #7 · answered by fluttergirl2004 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think now is too soon. I know it must be hard but you have to give yourself time to recover. You'll know when your ready. Just tell those people to stop trying to hook you with people and that your ready.
2006-12-13 10:09:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sara 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the best answer: "I know I am not ready"
Mourning is something very unique and as personal as can anything ever be. You are the one who is REALLY experimenting what you feel, only you can decide when you want to go out more or how you want to relate with other people.
2006-12-13 10:12:12 · answer #9 · answered by Miguel R 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well you have answered you own question sweetie. "I know I am not ready......"
When the time is right for you, then you will know, and you will reach out then.
Meanwhile, just tell your friends "thank you but I am just not ready for this yet." They are concerned about you and are only trying to help like any good friend will.
2006-12-13 10:11:41 · answer #10 · answered by kamikaze_4021 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋