He's a delinquent, a drunk and a druggie but she dosn't seem to care. She's known him for only 4 months but I've known him for 4 years and I know he's not good for her. Should I tell her or see if it works for her?
2006-12-13 01:33:09 · 10 answers · asked by Marionette 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
If he has a criminal record, you can get the information from the courts. She has the right to know and this is public information. But it sounds like she already knows and there isn't much you can do other than show her this information.
My husband was involved with drugs when he was younger and still facing the consequences of his actions from when he was teenager. However, he made mistakes and has made a lot of changes for the better. He still has a little bit to go, but He knows I'll help him out as long as he meets me half way.
My husband was upfront and honest with me about his criminal background and I have proof. I was then able to make my own choices if I could deal with this issue. If he was convicted of rape, murder or child molestation, I would not be with him. I've also known him for 9 years before we started dating and eventually got married. I've seen a lot of changes in him.
If she is an adult there isn't much you can do. However, if she is a minor, under 18 years old, talk to her parents to see if they are aware and BRING DOCUMENTATION!
2006-12-13 01:58:02 · answer #1 · answered by Erica, AKA Stretch 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should let this relationship run its course. Try not to get involved even though it is your best friend. Sometimes people have to learn on their own about people. She might resent you telling her that he is no good and this could affect your relationship. She will find out on her own, he will do something to hurt her or she will eventually find out he is wrong for her and when she does she will have your friendship to fall back on. My son has dated a few trashy girls that I didn't approve of and knew they weren't right for him, but I kept my mouth shut and let it run its course and after a few months he found out the kind of person they were and dumped them. I would just tell her that you are there for her if she needs you, maybe soon she will see the light.
2006-12-13 09:45:37 · answer #2 · answered by jlynncogbill 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It's hard for people to listen to advice until they experience their own mistakes. It's not enough for somebody to be told that somebody is bad for them..because if they really like the person naturally they'll want to give it a chance. Even when all odds seem against them they'd rather find out for themselves than take somebody's word for it. It's like a child with fire. They learn not to touch it better by actually touching it and burning themselves than being told not to.
2006-12-13 09:36:58 · answer #3 · answered by Bethany 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I am very blunt with all of my friends and I would tell my best friend right from the top. . .but make sure it is when the two of you are alone and you know that she is honestly listening to you. . .all you can do is tell her. . .wether she listens to you or not is the hard part. . .although you dont want her to get hurt if she doesnt listen then getting hurt is the hard way to learn but we learn from out mistakes.
2006-12-13 09:39:05 · answer #4 · answered by lorisbarbie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well because it is your best friend, it is kind of tricky. You have to say it in an objective tone that makes her know you are more concerned for her well-being than just thinking he is no good (which from the sounds of it, he isn't). Just say you are concerned for her and you want to best for her. GOOD LUCK! And hopefully she will dump this loser!
2006-12-13 09:35:57 · answer #5 · answered by Mimi 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u should see if the guy feels the same way about her first. if he does and has a good character then see if it works for her. but if he's just toying with her and not serious. tell her what u think.
2006-12-13 09:40:48 · answer #6 · answered by imawesome 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If u really know that he is a bad guy, then directly tell it to her...
tell her that u r concerned... show her that you are a real friend
2006-12-13 11:01:08 · answer #7 · answered by richard k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to just say it and if she doesn;t listen, then she'll learn what you're trying to tell her by herself. But remember to be there for her when she gets hurt.
2006-12-13 09:40:54 · answer #8 · answered by Aicha 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh yea, the girls like the "bad" boys all right. Save your breath, she won't believe you. She'll have to figure this one out on her own.
2006-12-13 09:37:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her what you know, then just be there for her to pick up the pieces.
2006-12-13 09:41:26 · answer #10 · answered by stringhead3 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋