Divorce rates are higher in America.
It seems as though after marriage, no more cuddling, if you do try the other might tire of you.
Guys are animals, sexual animals that want sex all the time, why do they get married when they lust after other women? I know some women cheat too.
Would it be better to be boyfriend and girlfriend and not get married at all?
You spend so much money on weddings and getting married, and then soon after you get a divorce which is actually a waste of money and time.
Even if you are happily married and when your husband reaches 70 he starts lusting after 20 year old modest women. Probably the same vice versa.
So what's the point? Marriage is no fairy tale, you can't change the other person. Men are expected to get bored and lust after someone else. If they don't want to be affectionate or cuddle they don't. I guess women are the same too.
What are your opinions?
2006-12-13 01:17:59 · 23 answers · asked by Camel Eye 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Nice answers
2006-12-13 01:25:10 · update #1
I've said it before - it's work. It's more than the wedding. It's kid's with problems. it's imperfection.
it's boredom, elation, petiness, greed, arguing, trust, insanity, intimacy, hatred, lust
It's illness. It's bills you can't pay. It's lying when you should tell the truth and telling the truth when you should lie.
It's sticking to your guns. And shooting them sometimes.
It's love and hate and lots of stuff in between.
I'ts holding some guy who's crying cause his mom died. It's some guy holding you cause you miscarried.
It's blood, and chicken noodle soup and tears and beer and sweat.
It's one beautiful sunset in a sea of high noons
It's days upon days that it just isn't worth the effort to get out of bed.
it's fidelity, almost infedility, sex and lack of it.
then double everthing but the wedding day and add garbage on tuesdays
sigh*
hours upon hours of moments that are just not worth it.
luckily
years upon years of moments that are.
25 and holding
2006-12-13 01:54:34 · answer #1 · answered by outdone 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you go into marriage thinking you are getting a romance novel, then it is doomed from the start. Don't we all wish for a romance novel kind of relationship. But that's why they are novels...because it ain't real life. In real life, we get married, work 40+ hours a week, raise kids, clean house, pay bills, and we are tired by the time the kids get in the bed. Sometimes there is energy enough only for cuddling. Yeah, we all have a tendency to take our partner for granted once the ring is on the finger...but that is why marriage is work. You have to work at it to keep it good. If each person doesn't put 110% into that marriage, it won't work. It is called give and take...by EACH person. Too many times one person gives, the other takes.
Why is it that just men get bored and lust after people...women cheat, too. It sounds like you don't need to ever get married. I've had a couple divorces. One cheated, the other got into some illegal porn. I have had bad experiences, but I still believe marriage can and will work if both people want it to. I do still believe in "happily ever after" and I will find mine some day, and work hard to make it happily ever after.
2006-12-13 01:29:41 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I do not believe that marriage is pointless. I do believe that the divorce rate is high because society has made it easy for people to say" I don't love you anymore, and I want a divorce". Marriage is work, commitment, honesty, sharing, loving, cuddling, affection, putting up with things you'd rather not, understanding, and most of all it is unity between a male and a female. I aspire to be married, and I am willing to work at it because I only believe that there are two reasons for divorce;cheating and beating, anything else can be worked on. A lot of the problem with Americans is that we take physical and sexual attractions and call it love. After the sex, and after we gain 25-50 pounds, where is the love?
2006-12-13 01:36:11 · answer #3 · answered by Special K 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think you have a very warped and dim view of marriage. Not ALL marriages end in divorce and statistics don't tell the whole story. Many of the statistics that you hear about today are because of a severe back log of cases when it was not easy to obtain a divorce. There was a "rush" on them and voila, wonky statistical data.
Even if people divorce most that re-marry stay married. You can chalk that up to life experience and knowing better what marriage involves.
Not every couple has infidelity problems or issues either. That is a person problem and not a relationship problem meaning that one party of the relationship has those issues and would have them regardless of whther they were married or not.
If a person has a problem with delaying gratification they are like that across the board in life and that doesn't change with marriage.
Marriage is no fairy tale. It takes work and compromise. I don't expect anyone to get bored or to lust after anyone else in my marriage. That's just depressing! If I thought like that I would drive myself insane.
2006-12-13 01:31:05 · answer #4 · answered by snippers72 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is a two way street. Sometimes things don't work out. If you get married you would hope the person is good. Before marriage many couples get counseled. Someday when I get married I hope I find a good man, I don't have to have a big wedding and if you really love a person you may not cheat. At least I know if I was married I wouldn't cheat. Otherwise if I was married and got cheated on by my husband then divorce would be the best thing. You have to know what you are getting yourself into and when to bow out.
2006-12-13 01:25:38 · answer #5 · answered by Jenny lynn 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You get married because you love the person. You want to spend the rest of your live with the person. You want to start a family.
Nothing is perfect. Yes some people cheat but that's not all people. Just because people a attracted to other people doesn't mean they will be having sex with them.
The thing about marriage is people forget that even after your married you need to spend time with each, listen, etc. Over look each others negative. And accentuate on the positive. Problems need to be worked on and compromised on. Marriage is not easy and with an instant gradification society when things don't look good it is easier to jump out.
However no one should stay in an abusive relationship. No one should stay with someone who is a cheater. Etc.
2006-12-13 01:30:09 · answer #6 · answered by wondermom 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
While the divorce rate in America is at an all time high, I refuse to give up on believing in the sanctity of marriage. I am married and very happy. We've been together for almost 6 years and we still cuddle every day, wake up in the am and say I love you first thing, and are both always putting the other persons feelings first. It is possible to have a good, happy marriage, but it takes both people putting in effort every single day. We didn't have a wedding, we went to the court house, because we couldn't afford a big or a small wedding at the time. We have alot of additional problems that most couples don't have...we both live in chronic pain from failed back surgeries. Maybe that is why we are more sympathetic and understanding of each other or maybe we're just determined to stay together...it's called commitment! We are best friends and I can't imagine my life without her in it. Don't give up on love or marriage...it's up to the 2 people involved to give 100% to the relationship just like they do their jobs. My in laws were married for 55 years until my Father in law passed away.
2006-12-13 01:29:32 · answer #7 · answered by vanhammer 7 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I believe most marriages don't last. Some people just get married for the wrong reasons. I have never been married, but have lived common law 3 different times. Gets boring being with the same person. I couldn't see myself having to get up the rest of my life and looking at the same face every day. Some married couples seem to do great. I have nothing against marriage. It just isn't for most people in my opinion.
2006-12-13 01:25:06 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Marriage is a commitment, before God and men. My wife and I have been married now for 10 years and we are doing VERY well. We love each other, very much. Marriage isn't easy, it's alot of HARD WORK & dedication. The problem with why the divorce rate is so high, is because people get selfish, they only think about themselves and what they want. And they don't take the time to think of their spouse or their spouse's feelings and needs, they only think of their own. And if things are not going the way that they want, instead of communicating their feelings to their spouse, they just turn around and run and get divorced. When conflicts come up, instead of trying to resolve them, they take the easy way out and just split, and divorce. Those couples who have been married for 25+ years and even those who have been married now 10+ years have done so because they have a stronger marriage because they worked through issues in their marriages. Also, your lumping men in as they are the ones who are wanting sex all the time, that's not always the case, women can be just as guilty of it as well. It takes 2 to make a marriage and it can take 2 to break a marriage also. I'm deffinatly not saying that I'm better than my wife or she's better than me. We have both made mistakes in our marriage and we could have easily just walked away and gotten divorced. But I'm thankful that we have worked at resolving conflicts that have came up in our marriage. And if I were not married to her, we wouldn't have our 3 beautiful children that we have.
And about mariage, yes it is worth it, God created marriage to be between a man and a woman. And if people tried to model their marriage after what it says in the Bible, I think we wouldn't be having the divorce problems in this country also. If we put our spouses first instead of ourselves, we could help avoid alot of the problems that leads people to cheat.
2006-12-13 01:43:16 · answer #9 · answered by Bryan M 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Marriage is over rated, on the other hand if two people want to spend the rest of their lives together marriage is a deep bond for two people. If they both feel that way, then get married. Always keep the fire burning in your marriage, Marriage is an institution that needs to be worked on constantly. You really have to know if you are ready for this. Alot of people just jump into it and it fails. They give marriage a bad name.
2006-12-13 01:25:36 · answer #10 · answered by wizzygirl10 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you live in the US, you don't lose everything in divorce anymore. But that's beside the point. Don't be on such a quest to find the ONE. You'll find her soon enough. The reason you date is to get to know yourself by getting to know others, itemizing what it is you can enjoy about certain qualities and what it is you just won't be able to tolerate. Remember, these dark secrets you are referring to is not indicative of everyone. You're looking for a certain calibur of person. These girls will not have skeletons such as you'd mentioned. You're right about the virginity factor. Seems everyone is looking for sex which is ridiculous. YOU don't have to behave like an ally cat. You will find girls with your standards in church and civic groups. Take your time, get to know the girl and just don't be in a rush. This way, you will find someone with whom you can grow and have a productive marriage. Good luck!
2016-05-23 17:37:23 · answer #11 · answered by Carissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋