I'm 24. I have dreams of owning my own company, traveling the world, and living in a big house. These are all achievable dreams for me. What my vision does NOT include is the 2.5 kids, white picket fence, and a dog...ok, maybe the dog, A bulldog to be exact. Even as a little girl, I never stated that I wanted to be a mommy. My fiancee and I are both set in our ways and neither of us long for a child so WHY does everybody I meet tell me I will change my mind? Isn't it better for me to know that I would be an unfit mother? Isn't it better for me to be aware of my desire to remain childless? How many woman out there have children that they do not want? I do not want to be that woman. I dislike children with very few exceptions and I want a life with my fiancee where we can be free to do whatever we want, whenever we want. On top of that, I have a genetic disorder that I wouldn't give to my enemy, never mind pass to to a child.
So damn it, why does everybody say I'll change my mind?
2006-12-13 00:55:06 · 12 answers · asked by mistress minx 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
To Norman7774: Reality? High expectations? Trust me, we're hardly paupers and he's building his second house. So all the thinsg we want are achievable, unless you are telling me that my "reality" is that one day I will want a child.
2006-12-13 01:22:39 · update #1
To Ihatehippies: I seriously hope you are kidding. If not, you need a major reality check.
2006-12-13 01:27:58 · update #2
probably because they had these dreams, but gave them up a long time ago. most people are just jealous of the fact that you are sticking to your dreams so far.
considering your genetic disorder & reasoning for not having children, you probably will stick to your dreams as long as you have the finances to do so. there are many people who do the same thing you want to do.... they just don't stick around long enough in the borring normal life for us to really notice-- they are too busy doing things like traveling & working & achieving their life's dreams!
do what you want & never give up! i have the house with the picket fence because i want that life, but if i did not want children or to spend my life with my husband who is a home-body, i WOULD travel the world...
2006-12-13 00:57:28 · answer #1 · answered by christy 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
How do you have a .5 kid?
Seriously though, maybe you will change your mind maybe you won't. Whoever tells you this probably has kids already. I go through the same thing every once in a while and it's really getting annoying. My wife and I have only been together for a year, and kids are nowhere near being in our plans for at least 5 years (she says 2 or 3). And like I said, most everyone we get that from already has at least two. My guess is a lot of people see having kids as a form of stability, to keep the couple together. But what if you know of a few good reasons why you wouldn't bring a kid to the world? We both like going out and spend too much money, like to sleep late, work the same shift and would probably hurt without two incomes, and all that would have to change with a kid in the scene. So what if you don't want to have kids, yet, or ever? I'm with you when you say that you don't want kids. So I'll go against everyone and say that you won't change your mind. Good luck with your business and your life.
2006-12-13 01:05:57 · answer #2 · answered by guicho79 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't see where chaning your mind would even come in to play here. I mean if you don't want a child then you don't want a child. But what I wonder is what happens if you have an "oppsie" would you change your mind. Ok I understand that I don't know you and probably never will. But does having a kid destroy your dreams. The only thing I can see that would destroy anything is not having your tubes tied or at least your fiancee tied. (its easier for a guy to get neutred and if you ever did change your mind its easier to get unneutered).
So if you get that done you can change your mind at anytime. You gotta think of how people change sometimes. I used to not like mustard for like 10 years and now I do (I am 24 also). Have you ever heard of mid-life crisis? You never know what could happen. You could grow old and regret not having kids. I am not saying that you will change but it seems very simple to see that things change and nobody knows whats in your future. Well I hoped my 1/2 cent helped. Good Luck to you and wish you well on your dreams.
2006-12-13 01:16:50 · answer #3 · answered by Blaman1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
completely agree, i'm 32 and at no element has that organic and organic clock began ringing with me and that i'm hoping it in no way does. I hate it whilst people supply you that pitiful look once you're saying you do no longer % childrens, such as you're lacking out on some thing! Yeah maximum surprising, i'm somewhat lacking tantrums, screaming and the infinite refrain of "i %, i %". I do think of there is a few thing genetic that would kick in however. My pal somewhat became consistently like me, then she have been given to 30 and went nuts for somewhat one. I in basic terms locate the great element weird and wonderful. As for being pregnant and childbirth, sure how can that be "organic". Hideous. i do no longer understand why any lady could % to section with some thing the size of a small cow.
2016-12-11 08:17:34 · answer #4 · answered by hume 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear, as a grandparent raising a child that my daughter doesn't want, I'd say that it is very good that you know yourself and your preferences. I think most people only think about the 'baby' time because that is pretty sweet but then there is the time after that - the growing up and becoming challenging and problematic. Not every kid is problematic, I know, but just having to change your life when you hadn't wanted to is problematic in that it tends to set up resentment. That is not good for kids.
2006-12-13 01:19:05 · answer #5 · answered by A B 3 · 3⤊ 0⤋
It's hard to a lot of people to imagine having a fulfilled life without children. I think it's great that you know what you want and don't cave to the pressure of having the "typical" goals and desires of a young woman even though you feel differently.
Good luck in you life! It sounds like you have a great head on your shoulders and I'm sure you'll do well.
2006-12-13 00:57:57 · answer #6 · answered by strawberrycrush 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I don't know but I totally agree with you. I have always said I don't want children and I ALWAYS get that same reaction. Why can't people accept that not every one is going to do exactly what society tells us is right? I think it might be a smug "I-tod-you-so" feeling that people are hoping for. If you get a decent answer, let me know.
2006-12-13 00:58:20 · answer #7 · answered by california_gurl16 3 · 2⤊ 1⤋
Folks think women don't know what they really want and that we are only satisfied pumping out the kids. They don't understand some of us have other dreams. I'm with ya, sister. They told me that and I'm now 42 and kid free. I have never regretted it. My life is full and very satisfying. Good luck to you!
2006-12-13 00:58:04 · answer #8 · answered by morrowynd 7 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I believe it's because most people are expected to conform at some point. However, it's the rare few that actually stick to their guns who really get serious work done.
I say, why be normal?
2006-12-13 01:00:21 · answer #9 · answered by Kia Extreem 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
They are probably stating(in another way) that when reality sets in, you will change your mind about your high expectations
2006-12-13 00:57:35 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 3⤋