My sister is in a real bad situation and has sworn me to secrecy... She is in a loving and happy 7yr relationship and they were trying for a baby for 2yrs. She is now pregnant and cannot enjoy it because she had a drunken one-night stand on the 22/07/06 and is now worried this man could be the father. She says they used a condom but she was very drunk and cannot remember much of the night. She is now 20wks and 5dys pregnant!! Any advice on this one??
2006-12-13 00:41:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
Just spoke to her and showed her the answers. She was annoyed i asked at first but is very thankful for all your answers so thanks to all. She has decided to keep quiet about all this incase she's wrong. I just hope the baby looks like her. For those who mentioned sleeping around as i said she is in a loving realationship and had ONE drunken night with a FRIEND not a stranger. She has slept with ONE man for 7yrs up until a few mths ago so i don't think that makes her a tramp, slut, slag etc... theres no grounds for that here!! Shes a lovely person really, i feel like crying for her :-( But thanks to all for your help!
2006-12-13 01:03:09 · update #1
She would have to wait until the baby is born to get a DNA test to see who is the father until then she has to come clean, or live with the secret forever.
2006-12-13 00:45:03 · answer #1 · answered by wenwen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Jerry springer!
No just kidding.
She can
A) Tell her husband & get a paternity test - if the kid is not his it may ruin the relationship.
Or he could find out later in life it's not his. And that could be harder on the kid.
B) Tell him and apologize. Maybe she wanted a kid so bad she didn't know what else to do, since he couldn't get her pregnant? Maybe he would really think on that one.
C) Dont say a thing and take one day at a time.
Scary - I'm sure. Id wait a while. She is only 20 weeks. Pro's & cons in all situations.
Good luck
2006-12-13 08:48:10 · answer #2 · answered by Mia l 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think July 22, 06 sounds about right for the conception to have taken place. But you never know...I'd ask a Dr., they can approximate when she got pregnant (that's still not for sure).
Also, it is not likely that she got pregnant from a one night stand, but of course it's possible. Has she asked the guy if they used a condom each time that night? Also, since she tried for a baby for 2 yrs, was her husband's sperm count tested? Whether it was a problem with her or with her husband could indicate if she conceived his child or the child is from her one night stand.
2006-12-13 08:46:43 · answer #3 · answered by Rwebgirl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
if she fell pregnant on 22 july, then she would have been "more pregnant" by now (22 to 23 weeks). i think she only fell pregnant in the beginning of august. but really to make sure, u need to know ur last period and length of cycle to work out ur most likely ovulation date.
ovulate takes place about 14 days before ur next period is due. if 22 jul is on or up to 4 days before her ovulation date, then it's possible that the 1 night stand is the father.
if she had sex with both close to each other, then it's difficult to tell, unless the baby comes out looking like one of the men. otherwise, blood test or dna test is ur best option.
besides all that: what happened to getting married and then having sex/babies? she should have been more responsible.
2006-12-13 09:47:00 · answer #4 · answered by marmalade 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow, that's a horrible situation to be in. I feel for your sister. In looking at the calendar, if the time frame she gave you is correct, changes are the father is her partner otherwise she wouldn't be quite as far along in her pregnancy...At any rate, if she's truly in a happy relationship, I would suggest she keep quiet until the baby is born. Hopefully the baby will have distinct physical attributes that make it easy to tell who the father is. If not, she may just have to confess...I have a feeling the guilt would consume her otherwise. Good luck for a positive outcome.
2006-12-13 08:49:57 · answer #5 · answered by E.J.S. 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to track down when the last time she slept with her husband Usually the way the doctors tell if she is pregnant is by adding 2weeks to the last time she got her period. If she can find out then she would know. If she slept with both of them close to the same period of time she's still in a bind. Tell her to go to the doctor with out her other and ask the doctor. The doctor can't tell anyone because of doctor patient confidentiality. Make sure to tell the doctor not to say anything. Good Luck
2006-12-13 08:45:59 · answer #6 · answered by Precious1 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is to keep her mouth shut! Tell her to not mention this to one person not even her best friend, no one! She loves her husband and he loves her, they want this baby so it will be his no matter what. If she feels guilty and tells him, she will feel better, but all she would do is put the burden on her husband, he will never feel the same way or look at her the same way again. Does she want to end up raising this baby alone? Tell her to shut her mouth, love her husband and spent the rest of eternity putting her husband on a pedestal like he deserves. Tell her also to quit sleeping around! If she loved her husband for their 7 year marriage and trying to make a baby for 2 years she wouldn't have done this. She needs to get over herself and respect her husband!
2006-12-13 08:50:52 · answer #7 · answered by cool chic 2no 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she only slept with that guy once on july 22nd, then she needs to know her last period date and then fromthere figure it out. I dont know how many days her cycle is, but most women will ovulate around 14 days after the first day of their last period. She can figure from there and see if she slept with that guy at that time or not. (Unless of course she slept with the guy from the 7 year relationship around the same time...then it may be harder to tell) But jsut have her count 14 days from the beginning of her last period and use that as teh time she ovulated. Just tell her to think about who she slept with 18weeks 5 days back because that would be the babys gestational age, or date of conception ..Have I confused you yet..lol.:) sorry.
2006-12-13 09:17:44 · answer #8 · answered by Blondi 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yea she is kind-of a little trap if ur in a "happy" 7 yr relationship y is she gettin drunk at a bar where all things are possible.. if i were her id confess to the "love" of her life and i hope he leaves he with no baby-daddy... just my opinion tho.. i cant stand tramps
2006-12-13 08:45:15 · answer #9 · answered by elf 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she shud *** clean wit her partner although she was very unfaithful to him and tellin him wud really hurt his feelins but these is actually wen their love is put to test.if d guy really loves her he wud find a way to forgive her and make their relationship stronger and wud braze himself up for d worst.if she keeps these as a secret it wud surely *** out in d open sumdayand destroy d love she had for 7yrs.
2006-12-13 09:10:43 · answer #10 · answered by dubis 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋