The problem came last summer when my best friend and I had summer school that took up 95% of my summer. My boyfriend somehow believed that my best friend was taking up all my time. Of course, I disagreed! Even though we were always together...it was always school related(I needed a 4.0, so I thought my boyfriend was ridiculous for this. It became so intense that he got upset everytime he heard her name. My best friends chose to stay out and doesn't understand. I really didn't either, bcuz my boyfriend is the nicest guy, but then my boyfriend explained that a similar situation had happened between him and his mother (his best friend). Some lady came into his mother's life and occupied all her time, leaving no time for him, and his mother hurt him, telling him that he was crazy. Obviously that situation scarred him. He doens't hate my friend on purpose, he tries his hardest not to. I don't want to let either go. My bestfriend is waiting for my boyfriend to come around?What should I do?
2006-12-13 00:03:23 · 8 answers · asked by KiKi 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
wow kiki, I can understand what ur going through and what he is going through, reassure him that if she was not to be in summer school that you would have had to go anyways and then it would have been worse because you would have been alone. But dont try to defend yourself so much, this is about him not u. Try talking to him and let him know that she is your friend but, you will not allow her to go b/ween you too, b/c you love him (if you do). Why dont you go to counseling (not as a couple but, him alone). and then you can go with him and so on. Obviously this is at its fresh so take care of it before it rots and stinks, Take actions and try to solve it, if you guys deside to stay together it can get to the point where he becomes posessive. If he brings up the subject, just reassure him that ur spending time with him already (like now at the moment, when he says it). Try to do something, dont ignore it b/c it will only get worse. Also let ur friend know when ur spending time with him (by a quick text) so she dont call u, therefore less tension and life becomes easier. And let him know ahead of time when ur going out with her, and occasionally invite him, and tell ur girl to invite a guy too. Take care and hope this helps.
2006-12-13 00:15:37 · answer #1 · answered by chinaz777 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well...i think that all three of you should sit down and talk about everything that has been going on. and explain to your boyfriend that when you were with her it was to do school work and so you could pass or whatever you were tryin to do at the time and i'm sure he will understand. sometimes it just takes a while for someone like your boyfriend to understand those kinds of things. they always think that you should be with them and be spending time with them but it doesn't always work that way because you have to have your own time to go off with your friends and not be with him all the time. and he should know who you are coming home to!!! thank you
2006-12-13 00:20:04 · answer #2 · answered by Missing YOU! 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Run from him as fast as you can. This kind of "control" is the first sign of an abusive relationship. It really doesn't matter that he has given you a plausible "excuse" for his unacceptable behavior. It is STILL unacceptable behavior. DEMAND better treatment and get it or run. Women in abusive relationships are famous for making excuses for their abuser. "He is so sweet" "If you knew him like I know him" "He really needs me" and so on goes the train of denial that allows women to stay with their abuser. If you have explained to him what is going on with your grades and school then he should accept it as what is best for you. By the way your friend sounds very wise to stay out of it. Perhaps she already recognizes your boyfriend as a control freak but doesn't want to lose your friendship by telling you such. Talk to someone who has dealt with abuse like a counselor and ask them about my theory. It is eaisier to learn in life by making the right decisions than it is by making the wrong decisions, but either way you will learn.
2006-12-13 00:12:39 · answer #3 · answered by YahooGuru2u 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Think about 3 some
2006-12-13 00:08:21 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get him therapy, he has huge attachment issues. I knew a guy like this, he still stalks all his old g/f's...not saying that will happen, but that is the ugly side of attachment issues.
Let them come together in their own time, don't push it otherwise.
Good luck, HTH
2006-12-13 00:05:29 · answer #5 · answered by Star 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
tell him that no one has taking his place and that your sorry if he feels that way and just make him see that and wait for him to come around he will in his own time
Good luck and God bless
2006-12-13 00:06:58 · answer #6 · answered by Young and Wise 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok,one element you want to comprehend is that once maximum couples split they ususally locate it demanding to be associates lower back.What you need to do is make "hi" gestures and eye contact and purely be like "how are you?" or "wats up?" its effortless and easy and u will be associates nevertheless.If he chooses to no longer be your pal,then there isn't any answer to that good luck:)
2016-11-26 00:36:46 · answer #7 · answered by oroza 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
threesome
2006-12-13 00:05:04 · answer #8 · answered by Albert H 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋