I was having a look at the history on his computer and it showed many of them viewed yesterday. i had a very bad reaction and he got into a mood and said that I was exagerating aand that he's worried about my temper. I am not a violent person but I felt hurt as he had never told me that he watches porn i thimk he should have been sincere taking that we have been together for 2 years and we live together and plan to get merried..he was still in a mood this morning and i'm worring that our relationship is ruined...
2006-12-12 22:36:26 · 38 answers · asked by monjka l 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Young lady,
He has the problem... NOT YOU! Let him stew for awhile then sit down and talk when he is ready. If he has been that "injurred" then drop him like a rock. People that need PORN have a filthy mind. You and he should be studying GOD's WORD prior to marriage and the porn does not belong anywhere in a home. You sound like a sensible person. DO NOT allow him to always be right when he isn't. Have a GREAT HOLIDAY SEASON!!
Eds
2006-12-12 22:49:54 · answer #1 · answered by Eds 7 · 0⤊ 4⤋
Ladies of the world!! If as guy looks at porn, it doesn't affect how he feels about you...those girls on the computer are NOT worrying about you, you need to stop worrying about them. If it came right down to it and all he wanted to do was look at porn 24/7, I would dump him, but he has been good to you so far (your thinking of marrying him,right?) so let it go. Don't make a big deal out of something that isn't a big deal. You making him feel like some kind of perv over something that is so common, is probably why he is in a mood. Be confident in his love for you, he doesnt love the hoochie on his computer,he just snuck a peek at her. There is a big difference.
2006-12-12 22:46:55 · answer #2 · answered by ruthie a 2 · 2⤊ 1⤋
It'll only be ruined if you make a big issue out of it. Does it really bother you that much? If he's only looking (and possibly having a crafty play) then there's nothing to worry about. If he was actually having an affair then you would be right in being angry. Talk to him sensibly and don't be judgemental about his liking of porn. You could even join in and look too, see how it turns him on and make it part of your fun. Alternatively you could do some pics or videos without him knowing and post them on the sites that he looks at. He'll get a shock seeing you there and might realise that it's not so much fun having other guys looking at you in THAT way.
2006-12-13 01:05:08 · answer #3 · answered by Hot British Guy 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Some guys find it embarassing to tell girls that they watch porn.
I think almost all men have that kind of "hobby", to watch porn.
I understand if you might feel insulted to have a boyfriend who watches porn even when he has you in his life. Or maybe scared that if the porn isn't enough, he might go for other girls.
The only solution for this is for the both of you to talk.
Ask him WHY he watches porn. Let him explain it to you.
Try also to be open-minded and be as sincere as you can so that he can easily open up to you.
If you know the reason then you can find a solution to it.
If it has something to do with your sex life, I'm sure you can do something about it.
But you should keep this in mind: if he really loves you, then he should be contented with you and not long for anyone else, even if it just women on porn.
Good Luck! :)
2006-12-12 22:52:00 · answer #4 · answered by mAi2x 2 · 3⤊ 1⤋
Don't worry about it plenty of people watch porn it is no big deal. It's not as though he is going out having an affair or anything. Let it go and carry on planning your wedding. He's in a bad mood probably cause of the way you reacted to him. Have a chat with him tonight and clear the air, it ain't worth falling out over.
2006-12-12 22:53:30 · answer #5 · answered by evs 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think you are right. It is your right to find an honest man who doesn't feel the need to look at obscene images. There are still such people out there, although somehow the perverse side of the male gender will always claim that "everybody does it".
If I were you, I wouldn't worry the relationship is ruined, I would happy I found out about it before the wedding.
2006-12-13 12:56:10 · answer #6 · answered by todaywiserthanyesterday 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ok, you would be best served by telling / explaining that you want an open and honest relationship with him ~ meaning ~ knowing each other inside and out.
However, the basic question is 'Are you prepared to know an understand the truth' ~ that is his?
Invariably, this sort of discovery reveals many hidden truths which include dissatisfaction's that are either to do with his being unable to express his feelings and what is not present in your relationship. Or, that you are not listening to him and the clues he allows out, or are possibly being restrictive in some ways.
This is not a denigrating or a criticism of you - or him. just statements of observations of behaviours and what to do to change what's going on.
i wish you the best of luck with this.
Sash.
2006-12-13 05:00:26 · answer #7 · answered by sashtou 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He was probably more upset that you had a look at his History than he is about you finding out he was looking at porn. I wouldn't be worried at all about the porn (unless it was the wrong kind if you know what I mean). I think it is safe to assume that every guy looks at porn and to only be shocked if you find one that doesn't. I don't think the issue is porn, it's more of an issue of trust. You both need to get that sorted before you get married.
2006-12-12 23:04:56 · answer #8 · answered by erika 2 · 2⤊ 2⤋
I have no problem with my man watching women in porn. It isn't like he is meeting the girls is it? It is just a healthy male appetite and he has actually learned some nice tricks for us to share too!!. Make sure it is not on his work laptop though. Only if it was man on man or underage porn I would be asking serious questions....
2006-12-12 22:48:24 · answer #9 · answered by oranda lady 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Come on dear...these days everybody watches the porn, the best thing for you to watch would be that does his behavior changed 2wrds u or not, after u have noticed that..
Its a human nature , I suppose
You must give him some space for himself(don't let him feel bounded to everything u say)and this apply to him also..
I know it feels bad , he would have also felt d same if it would have happened with u..
Nothing to worry..
For ne assistance as a friend feel free to contact
2006-12-12 22:44:47 · answer #10 · answered by TARUN 2 · 1⤊ 2⤋