My husband left me and moved to another country I have a serious illness and several children I am getting into levels of debt that are scary. I can't work, and he keeps telling me I should get a job. It's like he waited until I was really down and started kicking at me. He wants me to follow him to his new country and won't pay any child support unless I do. But I feel he really hates me, and the children don't want to go near him after he deserted us. They're angrier with him than I am, I think they feel he let them down when I was really ill. Now we are broke. I'm afraid to divorce as he may try to get custody of the children, he says he will, and anyway can they enforce child support when a man is in another country? This guy still thinks he is a good citizen, I don't know how he can sleep at night. But I don't know how to survive and look after my family...
2006-12-12 21:24:50 · 8 answers · asked by Ele 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Do you have family and friends there with you ? Maybe they could help out. Go see a welfare officer or go to your church explain to them that you are unable to work get a doctors certificate etc, tell them that your husband abandoned you and the kids they Will put some thing into action to help your situation you will be surprised what can happen. Did your husband leave you or did he ask you to go with him and you refused? Was it for work? Although that is no excuse
2006-12-12 22:14:14 · answer #1 · answered by angel 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It does not matter were you live he is responsible for the children and no court will give him custody of the children when he deserted the family. You see the longer the children are with you and in their home the judge does not like to shuffle them around. You need to get a lawyer and the lawyer will have the judge charge the fee to your husband. You need to see a lawyer right away. Make sure your lawyer makes him pay back support as well. You can also go to family services and they can help you financially until your husband starts paying support. He will not get custody so quit worrying your lawyer will tell you that, as long as you are healthy enough to take care of them then he will not get them. Best of luck to you and your family.
2006-12-12 22:18:21 · answer #2 · answered by victoria_bell_99 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Smart girl for not investing in a house or having children together, no way should this man be a father let alone a husband! Ok you can either keep going on like this (not wanting to pay for legal aid etc) but its just going to put more stress on you and take up more time, its best just to get it over and done with and spend the extra money for a lawyer. Trust me it will all be worth it once its all over, just get it over and done with now so you can enjoy the rest of your 2009 without having to still go through all of this because the good things in life - never come easy (getting a divorce is the good thing in this situation) Good luck & happy new year
2016-05-23 17:21:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
it is virtually impossible to enforce custody and support issues across international boundaries, sadly, your best bet is to follow him since he will probably pay the moving expenses and then you may have better luck acquiring support. At the risk of losing him his job, you might contact his employer and a lawyer to make sure you get the funds you need for survival and for your children. In most countries, marriage makes both spouses liable for the bills of the other. You may be able to get satisfaction by contacting your local consulate to see what remedies they can offer you.
2006-12-12 21:37:11 · answer #4 · answered by casurfwatcher 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sorry to hear, dont know, too many details, very involving. Find a good set of friends, a good church, you are going to need a close supprt group more than anything, people who c`are about you and will be there with you through tit all. Kids are great, but you need other adult friends taht care and will be there for you. This will not solve but help only. Wish I could help. Swallow your pride and conatct churches etc for any donations they can give. Contact socail security admin abou thelping you out. Also you should qualify for state funded programs like food stamps , child health care, health care for yourself, etc.
hope that helps some
2006-12-12 21:40:43 · answer #5 · answered by gb_gti 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
go to social services. they can help get you assistance. while you are there, talk to the child support agency. they will attempt to collect from him. also, stop and talk to a lawyer about a divorce. many will give a free consultation.
2006-12-12 23:11:17 · answer #6 · answered by sinned 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Move into your parent's house. Get government help.
2006-12-12 23:55:36 · answer #7 · answered by RunSueRun 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think you should immediately make your husband to pay for the children. talk to him and ask him to pay the bills.
2006-12-12 22:02:49 · answer #8 · answered by FairGround 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋