How to get a girl to over come her past bad relationships?

Question

this girl tht i love as a friend and want to go out with her but shes afraid of relationships cause of wat has happened to hr in the past
rape, and beaten and wat not and i want to be with her and she has said shed go to formal with me possibly i really want her to overcome that not everyone does that, sure some may but how can i let her no that im safe and im only here to respect her and love her and just b with her

Answer 1

Sorry dude no quick solution, just be her friend and slowly she'll trust you and that's all you can do.

Answer 2

You can't get her to overcome. Only she can do that. You can keep doing what you are doing, and tell her exactly what you've said. But you have to follow-through with being a gentleman and a respectful lover, and that means if you ever part ways you do it right, you hear?

The fact that she is prepared to give you a go means she truly cares for you, if this is what has happened in the past. You will probably find there will be times when she's afraid, or wary, and all you can do if you love her is reassure her and continue to be there for her. No matter what has happened to her, there's no reason she should not grow out of it and come out stronger and more capable of love than most. She survived. That makes her a queen in my book. Treat her that way.

Answer 3

all these answers, blah blah blah, some are right some are not. ALL girls have low self esteem, none of them know this (dont go around saying this or you will remain celebate - forever) rape/abuse etc just makes it even lower. You need to build her up as a person, show her she has value for who she is not what she can do, be or achieve. Help her believe in herself.
My wife - same thing, I feel your pain bro. Now she is better.
DONT ignore, DONT avoid talking about it, but make sure timing is right She has to process this and move on, you cannot do that for her. If she doesnt know how, she needs to see a pro. No shame in that, other people have messed her up badly.

Answer 4

I knew a girl like that, she walked around in a daze, holding a red rose "Ruby red dress" we started calling her, she became seriously out of touch with reality.
I don't know if this was her way of seeking attention or she was really mentally impaired. Be afraid of her pal. You cannot heal her, she needs professional help.
What are your attentions, are they real or are you just feeling sorry for her. Keep a straight mind and stay away from her. She'll drag you down.

There's some on here that will say to "reach out to her" but, your not a professional, she might need years of counseling, might never come out of it.

Answer 5

That's a hard dilemma to overcome. In my opinion and my advice to you is, ask yourself, how much do you really like this girl? And then think about this if you decide to get together later in life that dilemma does not go away. Most likely it will stay with her the rest of her life b/c you don't just forget these things. This will ruin your relationship girls like that who are very emotional and unstable (Yes I do feel sorry for them I'm not immoral) but it's very hard to maintain a close relationship. She may take what happened to her in the past on you when you get in a fight/make her angry. You might like this girl but are you willing to deal with all of this? Get ready for sweet talking and perhaps being one of her parents who she never had or be someone who she never was close to who she wanted to be close. In her mind you will eventually be that figure and you'd have to babysit. Unless she gets over this dilemma somehow (very hard to do) I would otherwise think about this twice. She might be nice and pretty but you need to think about your happiness as well. Just trying to open up your mind like I said it's just my opinion. Hope it helped? Good luck to you and I hope you the best!

Answer 6

Coming from a similar situation I can relate to how she feels. These things take time to get over especially if you are not using professional help.The best advise to you is not to push her if she is not ready for a relationship you telling her how good of a person you are is not enough. That is something she will have to see for herself. Be patient with her and show her all the things you say are special about you.

Answer 7

Give her time to heal her wounds. Be there for her when she needs you, don't be forceful or put any unnecessary pressure on her at this phase. Let her know and assure her that you can and will be there for her 24/7 anywhere / anytime. Brighten up her day, keep her company, attend to her needs, listen to her, speak to her and most importantly, give her some space.

Answer 8

u let her know through ur behavior, not by telling her. she needs to figure that out on her own through the time u spend together..earning her trust in ur case can take time and patience, u need to make her feel safe and secure wth u all the time, she needs to feel that ur always there, the shoulder to cry on, the hand she holds, and the smile in happy times...u need to give her the time, stand by her, and let her see how genuine u are without trying to push urself too hard

Answer 9

Time will prove it to her. be understanding. respect her limits. Tell her alot that you care about her and want what is best for her. The line "let me love you" works. Let her know you know how she feels and you will protect her, love her and never let her push you away.

Answer 10

i'm not sure what precisely your question is yet i might say, maximum relationships end for one individual previously the different individual. relies upon on the situation. each so often it would desire to be the boy nevertheless attempting to dangle on and each so often it would desire to be the lady. i've got had it pass the two approaches just about the two.

Answer 11

give her some time to cool down.....tell her that u're in love with her n' promise her u'll respect her as a girl....she gotta trust u......maybe try to tell her to treat all the painful yesterdays as a dream n' u're her genuine lover who cares for her no matter what.......by the way, this poor girl needs time......good luck!!!