It s a long time that my husband blames his parents to be stingy for the way they acted when he was at school.After our wedding he realized his parents were even more stingy with us. Yesterday he called his mother on the phone and argued with her.He told her she s stingy.The mother said"your wife is rude and i think she brain wash us about the fact we re stingy cause she wants our money".I got a shock and i called her after this conversation to ask her to meet her in person the same night at her house...her husband answered for her telling me she s not in a mood to talk to me but she wants talk alone with her son(my husband)what s going on in her sick mind?What can i do?Ignore her and esclude her from my life?
2006-12-12 19:16:37 · 9 answers · asked by manolaxox 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Let your husband deal with his mother and he needs to absolutely stand up for you and take your side. He needs to tell her that you are his wife and his priority and that no one disrespects you, including his own mother. He needs to tell her that she is not welcome in your home and the two of you won't go to hers until she apologizes to you and behaves herself.
2006-12-12 19:43:00 · answer #1 · answered by 2sweet 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be careful you are walking on dangerous grounds here. There are other issues here too. What does your husband say to his mother when she talks about you that way? Another thing: don't talk finances with your in-laws leave that part up to your husband. A mother is a sacred person to a man. step back and let your husband deal with her. He is going to have to be a man and eventually stand up to her for your sake. Also be careful who you call stingy, they may not be stingy at all . There is not enough information here for me to have an opinion all I really think is that your husband is a weak man and needs to stand up to his mom for you trust me I've been there
2006-12-13 03:27:09 · answer #2 · answered by Wenz 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh you are really innocent and will soon learn the truth about family behavior. Well obviously it would be impossible to exclude this person from your life as she is your husbands mother! And when you have children someday the in laws will become more involved.
My advice to you is that you should learn from this situation. When mother in law said these things to your husband and not to you, you should not get involved in it. Because she was baiting you to get involved in the disagreement and is trying to create problems in your marriage. She expected you to confront her so that she could prove to your husband that what she said was right (that you are brainwashing or bad etc). It is just a ploy to make you look like the bad guy.
You should talk to your husband and make it clear to him that he should resolve problems himself with his mother. She will definitely try to stir up trouble again and the best way to handle this kind of person is to avoid her (but in a very respectful way). It will make her look foolish if you are polite to her and ignore her tantrums. I do this with my in laws and also with my own family because it avoids conflict and also protects my marriage. Because believe me, when you get involved in the arguing maybe your husband will resent you for it one day. Best of luck. Listen, absorb, say very little, and be respectful and things will be fine.
2006-12-13 03:28:01 · answer #3 · answered by Mom_of_two 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Hmmmm. Same old story
Well all the humans in this world are born with an internal nature and u can't change it.
You are married with her son not with her (your mother in law). Just ask your husband that what he wants bcoz she is her mother and convince your husband that you are very honest with him (I hope). You love him and you don't hate her mother.
TRY TO READ YOUR MOTHER IN LAW'S THOUGHTS. BE AN OBSERVER THEN YOU WILL FIND WHAT YOU HAVE TO DO.
2006-12-13 04:03:45 · answer #4 · answered by zohaib 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my mother in law blames me for things beyond my control as well,, my husband hardly talks to her anymore which is sad because we have 2 children and one of them has never met her we live on west coast her on the east. i just tolerate her these days and my husband gets more mad at her when she treats me as the evil selfish daughter in law. tho he always tries to bury the hatchet. he always says thats why we live so far apart.
2006-12-13 03:25:23 · answer #5 · answered by Kathryn 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
like my father use to say to me "I have money, You do not"
Your husbands parents money is THEIRS and they can do or not what they want with it.
Unless you are supporting them and they have money in the bank. You really need to not worry about.
2006-12-13 03:42:31 · answer #6 · answered by LadyCatherine 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
What is "stingy" ? pissed off?
I would stay away from her.
Let your husband talk to them.
2006-12-13 03:25:00 · answer #7 · answered by ~*~Tessa~*~ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would just leave them and their money alone.They cannot take it with them.
2006-12-13 10:28:28 · answer #8 · answered by shyone 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she is trying to play mind games. ignore her toxic butt and let him deal her it is his mom.
2006-12-13 03:27:33 · answer #9 · answered by atlas shrugged and so do i 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋