married and no sex for 9 months.... marriage porblems?

Question

A good friend of mine is married, he has a 15 week old baby and has just told me he hasnt had sex for 9 months, and not very often before baby was conceived, i didnt want to ask any more questions as it may be a sore subject, you reckon its marriage probs?

Answer 1

Many women feel uncomfortable during pregnancy. With morning sickness and lets not forget feeling like a giant whale doesn't help get you in the mood. Then you have to remember that sometimes if there are any complications her doctor could have told her not to have sex in the last months of pregnancy for the safety of the baby, Also for the first 6-9 weeks after the baby is born her doctor would have told her not to have sex at all. Depending on if she tore (you asked) and if she did how badly she may still not feel like having sex as there still could be pain with intercourse. If she was not a very sexual person to begin with she might not even be thinking of sex. Talk to your friend their are many marriage counselors out there maybe now is the time to see one. Even if they had a healthy sex life right after a baby many couples feel overwhelmed with the new baby and counseling would be good until they adjust to their new lives.

Answer 2

Some women don't like sex during pregnancy because they think it will hurt the baby and most are not so keen after for a little while. This explains the 9 months but a general lack of enthusiasm before and after that is a personal matter between them and could also be medical (it hurts some women). You can suggest this however: show more non sexual affection during the day with hugs light touching and kisses and let foreplay last a lot longer with him doing more of the pleasing when she is in the mood later that night. When she starts to enjoy it more she will get into it and want it more often.

Answer 3

Well, obviously he had sex when the baby was conceived. Many women just physically feel horrible while pregnant, I know I sure did during both my pregnancies, and my hubby didn't get "nookie" all that often either. If it's their 1st baby, the mom may be feeling very tied to the baby, it's very hard to remember that you're also a wife. However, the baby's almost 4 months old, even with the worst delivery, she should physically be able to have sex now. If this were your wife, I'd reccommend that you very gently talk to her about it, but this isn't your wife, so butt out of it. Not your problem. OK?

Answer 4

Someone should be reporting this guy for being a pedophile. If you've only been married 9 months and your sex life has fizzled out, good luck...........Oh, and get used to having a boring sex life, because it doesn't improve until your about 27-30 years old. Your just a baby and until your really a woman (and with a real man) orgasms are just a fantasy. If you think you've had an orgasm before wait until your older then you'll know what an orgasm is.

Answer 5

Not necessarily, some women have an issue having sex when they are pregnant or are just not in the mood (and you don't try to convince a pregnant woman to do anything). Once those growth hormones start kicking it, you never know what can happen. As for post pregnancy, in a normal scenario you can't have sex for 8 weeks, and if there are any complications it may be longer. Not to mention, once you have a baby and are caring for it, sex isn't the first thing on your mind. It can take awhile to get the sex drive to come back.

Answer 6

Id say There is definitely a problem. You didn't say much about what was said that even brought this subject up.
Possibly hi risk pregnancy. but that wouldn't explain the lack of sex prior to pregnancy.
it is hard to guess what might be going on behind closed doors... or in some cases what isn't going on...? even harder to figure out why..??

I can totally understand his situation. and i feel for him, or her which ever the case may be. 9months is a long time. almost seems amazing that they were able to have conceived a child.

Hope they are able to work their problems out. a marriage without such intimacy is in need of some help.

Answer 7

Definetly not normal. My husband doesn't want to have sex as often as I'd like, but I'd hold him down and make him do it after 2 months, I'd probably leave before 9 months.
It sounds like her husband might have that issue sleeping with a mother. It's fairly common as men don't find their own mother's attractive and don't find mommies particularly sexy. She needs to re-invent herself, maybe put some effort into her appearance, or have them get away for a weekend just the two of them. If none of that helps, then I'd be a good friend and slip her the name of a good marriage counselor.

Answer 8

Sometimes during pregnancy a woman just doesn't feel sexual or attractive. Especially if the pregnancy was unplanned or at a bad time in the relationship. My husband and I only had sex maybe 3 times the entire time I was pregnant with our second baby. We were having problems when I got pregnant and even thought i know I couldn't get pregnant again I think part of it was a psycological thing because I knew the sex was what got me pregnant. I know sounds wierd. hope it made sense.

Answer 9

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Answer 10

something had to have turned her off! here are some turn offs for women! first if when she were giving it to him, did he know how to please her in bed, are did he smell bad, are did he do it the same old way all of the time! so if he turned her off It's up to him to Turn her back on, after having a baby and it's only been 15 weeks, maybe he needs to give her a little more time!! by the way sex plays a big part in a marriage, and they both needs to talk about this, i just hope he has never did the name calling, to her that sure as hell would be a no no!