It's a love song,dedicated to my 12 year old girlfriend Amanda. <3 Please give comments about it!
Ooooooooooooooooooooh....................................
Touching you,touching me........
How I wish today was a night full of stars
You and I making out in this starry bloom of angels
But sometimes I just wonder
Why don't just you drop dead
That frees me of my pain and suffering
Under the curse of a thousand-year love
Between you and me
(Chorus)
AAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH(x3)
I'm in pain.......AHHHHHHHHHH
Free me of my suffering....GAAAAAAAH....
My heart is numb and has gone on to freeze
And it shall never be yours again
So....goodbye my lover!~
Ahhhhhhhhhh.............
F***ing you f***ing me....
How I wish today was the birth of a new world
So that I can hook up with a beautiful girl like you
As we lay deep into each other's bodies at night
And feel each other's souls fusing into one
2006-12-12 17:08:28 · 7 answers · asked by Anonymous in Entertainment & Music ➔ Music
Please be lenient because im only 12 years old!!! my vocab isn't that good!
2006-12-12 17:10:16 · update #1
The poem is a good attempt in creativity. The stanza appears to be good excepting for the "deep into each other's bodies". This phrase is beyond your age's imagination.
In the second stanza you are rejecting her affection. What exactly you are trying to convey.
The first stanza is good. But, there is a negative approach. You can change it to positive thinking. You can say that if born again you would still love her.
All said and done you have a creative abillity which can be used for more better things in your life. All the best.
2006-12-12 17:25:58 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you thought that saying you're 12 was suppose to make us be nicer to you... you're dead wrong.
Quite frankly it sucked and it's like you just took a whole bunch of songs a stuck them together.
The stanza's don't work at all, it doesn't even ryme (which is often what songs do).
Give up your song writing dreams and hop on a different boat.
My freakin' dog could write a better song than that.
2006-12-12 17:19:39 · answer #2 · answered by Cass 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Touching you touching me????
F***ing you f***ing me????
How I wish todays was the birth of a new world
So I can hook up with a beautiful girl like you?????
Hmm here's the suggestion, try to rewrite it more poeticly. You wish a new world just to hook up with a girl? If you're really 12 maybe that's everything indeed.
2006-12-12 17:26:21 · answer #3 · answered by Ophelia a.k.a Mia 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You sounded confuse ...so do you want the gal or not? Or wanna be free?
2006-12-12 17:12:22 · answer #4 · answered by Ho S 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
its only a 3 sorry
2006-12-12 17:46:31 · answer #5 · answered by yukmouth 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It's weird...
BUT I LIKE IT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
2006-12-12 17:22:44 · answer #6 · answered by Lola M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
please don't sing it to her if you value your jewels.
2006-12-12 17:17:55 · answer #7 · answered by alex l 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋