Relapse..drug addiction.?
i fear my boyfriend is having a relapse... hes doing the whole isolation thing and wont call me or his mom back, which before he went to rehab meant he was off using... i dont know how to react... i am pissed, but i know blowing up wont help the situation, but if i just let him get away with it then he will think its okay and IT IS NOT. ive already told him i cant go though the whole additive addiction again, but i also know people slip, i want to help him get back on track but i dont want him to think i will just sit here and go through this again and again... i wont. please help!
ive been working my own recovery as far as being co-dependent and i go to naranon, so i know i cant "fix" it... im not trying to do that, im tryin to manage my own reaction to his action and i need help on what the most constructive way of doing this would be...
2006-12-12 17:02:13 · 5 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Co-dependent people are addicted to addicts. You know that. You need to run, not walk, away from this man.
Don't use the blah blah blah line about loving him, rather love yourself enough to leave. If he cares enough about you--he will straighten his act up and follow after you.
He is an addict. You and his mother are his safety nets, always chasing around after him and making sure he will not hit bottom.
Let me give you one last word of advice, safety nets soon turn into doormats. No one has any feelings or respect for a doormat. Don't become one.
2006-12-12 17:09:40 · answer #1 · answered by maamu 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I hear you. My qualifier has started using again after being in a program.
I am active in Al-Anon because the meetings are more readily available then Naranon.
Right now, I listen. I don't give advice, I don't ask questions regarding her drug use, I don't drop hints, I don't use sarcasm. I avoid hassling her, calling her, or trying to force solutions. I let her be. I cannot do for her what she must do for herself.
She is wanting to be around me since I am not pointing out that she is an addict and that her life is out of control. She has come to me and told me that her drug use is out of control but she's not ready to do anything about it. My response was silence. She filled the silence by telling me she didn't want advice and I was grateful that I hadn't tried to give it.
It is not my job to punish her or to remind her of the consequences of her drug abuse. She knows the consequences, she has just forgotten them in her denial. Past experience and my program have shown that any attempts I make to remind her are met with anger, hostility and/or defensiveness and are unproductive.
I cannot bring her to her senses, I cannot wake her up, I cannot help her. I am powerless over her and her addiction.
I love her, and at times cannot bear to see her harming herself and must distance myself from her for my own sanity. I love her and treat her with respect and love, however I work so hard not to enable her and not to try in vain to fix her.
It's like Invasion of the Body Snatchers. I miss her so much...especially when I am with her, for the sickness and the drugs are hiding the person I love. Sometimes it's so hard to accept that I am powerless over her, but not accepting this
fact doesn't change that it's true and compromises my serenity.
Thank you.
2006-12-12 19:07:06 · answer #2 · answered by teach_empathy 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
if its smooth then it cant be dependancy. If its an dependancy then it cant be smooth. same as you cant get 0.5 drown. My dependancy is the internet and at present yahoo solutions :-) and wats yours?
2016-10-18 05:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
dump this guy and get yourself better.
When you are better some day, don't go back to him.
2006-12-14 16:29:45 · answer #4 · answered by jloertscher 5 · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to lose this loser NOW.
2006-12-12 17:13:25 · answer #5 · answered by Rick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋