My fiance and I are very much in love but we have a rather large problem that is keeping him from fully being happy. I have been married 3 times, consequently divorced 3 times, and he cannot accept this and becomes angered and hurtful when he is reminded of this.I love my fiance and he loves me also, however we need something to be able to do or say that will enable us to get through this. In addition, telling him that I have never loved someone as much as him, offers him little help what should I do?Has anyone been through a similar experience, or knows of a way to help us through?
2006-12-12 16:34:03 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
He knows your track record and really doesn't want to be remembered as "Contestant #4". (I'm betting on it...)
Seems like you enjoy GETTING married, not BEING married.
BTW... Good call Nina!
2006-12-12 16:46:27 · answer #1 · answered by Audio God™ 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I think before u solve the problem with him U should solve why u didn't succeed in the other marriages .....it take 2 u know...I am not saying that the problem in u but may b it worth a try because some times we cant judge oUrselves....after that u can solve the problem with ur fiance he feels insecure...he loves u and don't want to loose u so this will be a good step from Ur side which will give him secure and make him understand that u really love him and want to spend the rest of your live with him
2006-12-13 00:43:40 · answer #2 · answered by sky7th_7 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
How can you think you can SAY something to assure him anything? Listen honey, u CANT marry him. If there is no trust in the relationship now, what in the world makes you think you have the right to be engaged to this man? He has an issue with your past,..... things that you CANT change. You better wise up,... after 3 marraiges you should know that this relationship will end up in divorce as well.
2006-12-13 00:45:34 · answer #3 · answered by Photographer 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You are obviously impulsive but that is not a bad thing, we can't go through life bypassing Mr Right looking for Mr Perfect (or in my case Miss Perfect). Your boyfriend is in love with you because of who you are and your past relationships are part of who you are. Your fiance has to trust his instinct and love you without reserve, you are obviosly someone very special to have failed 3 times and still commit to him and he should honour your trust in him. If your fiance cannot accept your past then he is throwing away any possible future because you cannot start a relationship with doubt. Best of Luck.
2006-12-13 01:01:01 · answer #4 · answered by Lash 1 · 0⤊ 1⤋
They say the third time is a charm not four so maybe he is afraid of divorce before marriage. He is the only one that can change that. If the issue is more than 24 hours old then don't bring the issue up.
2006-12-13 00:46:26 · answer #5 · answered by CRUNKMAN 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's naturally afraid of your past record. He doesn't want to be divorce #4. Probably the best thing you can do is give it time, and let him see you're serious this time. But first, you need to ask yourself why this one will work when all the others didn't. Once you can answer this question for yourself, only then you can begin to assure him.
2006-12-13 00:38:17 · answer #6 · answered by Rick 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Your fiancee seems to be in two minds. He is fearing that you may leave him as it happened with you before for whatever may be the causes. Delay the marriage until you fully gain his confidence. Dont rush with the marriage with a problem. It will not work out.
You need to seriously ponder over problems of your previous marriages and identify your mistakes. Unless you reform yourself you will not be able to stay married to any one.
2006-12-13 00:46:01 · answer #7 · answered by rams 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
have you tried counseling? Multiple marriages makes one wonder what issues there may be that prevent you from forming a permanent bond w/ someone. Not saying you are the issue but it makes someone think possibly. If you were to go to counseling together then it could reassure him you're serious and not just collecting husbands.
2006-12-13 00:38:07 · answer #8 · answered by uknowme 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I know exactly how he feels.just make sure you don't talk about it and after awhile he will be OK.give him some time.It's always hard at the begin.You would ask yourself questions too if he had 3 marriages in the past.
2006-12-13 00:39:16 · answer #9 · answered by somany 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
if he can't accept that you have a past then he is not right for you even if you two are supposedly in love, time to leave him and move on to someone that is more understanding
2006-12-13 01:04:35 · answer #10 · answered by zether 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋