My wife is pregnant. She just recently told me that she doesn't know if she wants to be with anyone period. She said that she doesn't want to make a decision about our marriage right now while she is pregnant, but she keeps talking about the things that would happen if we got a divorce.Such as what is going top happend with our new daughter. Im just very worried. SOmetimes we have goo days and I take it like everything is getting better, and she just told me that it is still the same. Being intimate (not sex) is not existant in our relationship anymore. I want it she doesnt. I just want to know if this is normal or should I be worried.
2006-12-12 16:29:08 · 35 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
OK so I really went through this with my poor hubby. I told him I should have never married him and that I want to raise our son on my own and all this other horrible stuff. Well needless to say yes I am still married and my husband doesn't even remember all that mean stuff I said. Hormones are a very powerful thing and make you say things you might not really want. She could have just been mad at you for not bringing her something which in turn made he feel like you wont be there for her. Also if you all didn't have major problems before it might just be a phase. I would really just baby her right now and the whole sex thing trust me we didn't do it at all after the 1st 3 months. Sorry
2006-12-12 17:03:18 · answer #1 · answered by Canes Girlie 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, I've not been pregnant before, but I do know that my hormones amplifiy whatever feelings i'm already having. So like if I am worried about something then i feel really worried. If something is funny then I laugh until I start crying a little.
It makes me wonder how long the two of you have been together prior to the pregnancy and also if you two were having problems beforehand. It could be she was feeling annoyed with you before she got pregnant and now it is amplified to feeling like things will never be good again.
Anyway, it might help to go to some counseling so that the therapist can help you determine where this feelings for her have originated and whether or not they are serious.
It would be better if you can figure this out before the baby gets here.
Hope everything turns out ok.
2006-12-12 16:40:33 · answer #2 · answered by zyllee 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ask her to tell you what main things are bothering her and listen ......let her open up.
Many women are afraid or don't want to be intimate during pregnacy and for awhile after...........it's not meant as a rejection of you normally.
The other advice of getting counseling together is good. Also, mothers often feel so tired and overwhelmed and really do need help with the baby or other children in the house or some help with laundry or housework. Men aren't usually wanting to do that, but it makes a wife feel he really loves and cares for her.
You're tired and she's tired........it's all normal. But if you both work together , hopefully it will bring you closer. We all go through stages and sometimes the marriage does need help.
She may be young and not ready to be a mother.......it sure takes maturity and patience. Best wishes.
PS Theres a good book called His Needs Her Needs that might be helpful.
2006-12-12 16:46:44 · answer #3 · answered by 4263 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Could be but don't dismiss it. Only you know for sure what the REAL issues you guys have and that will let you know if there is some seriousness to it. If that leaves you confused, how about sitting her down and talking to her about it., Pregnancy is a real trip and sometimes, you want to just be left alone and don't want to given anything, including your body, to anyone. The baby's has taken you for all that you are and you're taxed out! Might not be a bad idea to ask with some flowers in hand and ensure her that this is because you love her, not because you want to have sex with her. Patience is definitely a virtue for the months until she finally can become somewhat that the person you used to know. She might come around sooner if you help her out esp. when the baby comes with feeding, changing diapers, cleaning, etc. A little goes a long way!!
2006-12-12 16:36:46 · answer #4 · answered by hellokittyt012263 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've never been pregnant; however, I can tell you that female hormones are a powerful and scary thing that can make a woman feel and think some crazy things. Has she mentioned anything like this before her pregnancy? If not, you can assume that hormones are playing a role in what she says. If these comments have been in recent times only, let some time pass and see what she says. Chances are, she's scared of the changes in her body and your life together, and the hormones are just adding to her emotional state.
2006-12-12 16:33:01 · answer #5 · answered by Julie K 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A woman should never make any major decisions when she is pregnant! I hope that it is the hormones causing the ups and downs you and your wife are going through. It's hard to say not knowing everything, but it is possible that it's hormones. Assume that it is and hang in there. It may be that she is feeling bad about herself because she's bigger than normal, possibly swelling, definately moody. Make sure she knows that you love her and think she is beautiful. Do whatever you can to help her around the house, etc. I wish you the best of luck. Oh and congratulations, Dad!
2006-12-12 16:37:10 · answer #6 · answered by Psalm91 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your wife may simply be feeling insecure about the physical changes of her body. She might not believe that she is attractive to you anymore. She might not be feeling well, either. Is she laughing as much as she was prior to the pregnancy? Hormones play a huge role in a woman's physical and emotional health during pregnancy.
Love her with all your heart. Try not to let what she is saying get you down. Support her needs by doing more around the house and taking on more responsibility.
If she continues to talk about divorce after the birth of your child, see if she won't agree to seeing a marriage counselor.
Chin up. She will probably come around after your child is born.
2006-12-12 16:35:36 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
i would stop worrying until after the pregnancy. When you are pregnant you have so many hormones and emotions running through your body its almost to much to handle. She may change her mind when all her hormones are back to normal, which may not even be right after she has the baby, it could take months. But then again she may not change her mind ( i dont want to get your hopes up) Its just a waiting game i guess.
Good luck, and i hope everything works out for the best.
2006-12-12 16:33:46 · answer #8 · answered by ANDREA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is smart not to make a decision while pregnant. I know with this pregnancy, I feel trapped. I feel trapped in my house when I'm in. I feel trapped and tied down to being a mom, even though I already have a kid and want this one. I feel like everything lasts forever, even a movie. Nothing is exciting. It is all blah and trapping me. On top of it, I used to be so happy, and now I don't even like myself as much. And I hate my wonderful life.
I would be worried if I was you too, but because she is pregnant, i would be much less worried. Hormones are from the devil
2006-12-12 17:30:12 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me as though she is ready to be out of the relationship for some reason..I know when women are pregnant, the have a lot of problems with their hormones, and some are much worse than others...There is also a chance that she is all ready seeing someone else on the side, and you just haven't found out yet...don't freak out or anything, it's just a possibility...So, maybe you should try giving her some space...Maybe stay with a friend for a little while, and give her some time to think it all over...If that doesn't help matters, you should probably just call it quits....Good Luck
2006-12-12 16:36:02 · answer #10 · answered by jeromy1998 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋