My boyfriend and i have been together for a lil more than 2 years. and we have been talking very seriously about marriage. this summer he found out that he is going to kuwait for a year. he chose to postpone the engagement and wedding till he comes back. i personally hate that idea, but he's the man so i'll do what he wants with this one. he knows that i want to at least get engaged before he leaves, but he thinks it would be a better idea to wait till he comes back. Am i crazy? or is this a good idea?
he's a specialist in the amry if that makes any diff. i'm 19 and he's 21.
2006-12-12 16:18:32 · 20 answers · asked by Starry Eyes 5 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
he's not going on to the front lines, he's securing the border or something like that.
2006-12-12 16:23:46 · update #1
I was actually stationed at Ali Al Salem Air Base in Kuwait. Its not going to be a problem for him at all. As far as the marriage thing.... I have a few questions for you. Have you lived together and such? That would play a HUGE roll in my decision.o are you willing to handle the sacrifice that a military spouse must be abe to handle? These are some pretty tough questions, but they are something to think about. Just do what feels right. If you feel that it is time to make a lifelong commitment then go for it. On the other side, if there is ANY and I mean ANY doubt in your mind then you should wait a little while. Also you might want to use his deployment as a test for you relationship to see if you can keep it together through the rough times. Just a few thoughts to think about.
2006-12-12 16:34:34 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not trying to be negative but honey u all should wait a little longer you are only 19 and he is 21. you all have not experienced life just yet why don't u all wait a little longer to see if this is who u really want to spend your life with. There are so many people getting married at young ages only to find out that the person u thought was for u is not so just think about it and take your time and if it is meant to be it will be
2006-12-13 00:25:40 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all, you're not stupid nor crazy. Work for him is just as important as your marriage. Maybe he needs time to save up for your engagement ring or your wedding. Don't be freaked out about it. As you said, you've talked about it very seriously. So just trust the guy. Besides it's only for a year. Be patient, it's a virtue.
Meanwhile, keep your communication with him. The best way to keep a man.
2006-12-13 00:28:07 · answer #3 · answered by ♥meiling♥® 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Since you started dating him when you were 17, there is a good chance he was your 1st. Being only 19 which is still very young to be getting married, maybe he's got the right idea. It would be a chance to see if this is true love before you give your life away, a chance for you to explore the waters.
2006-12-13 00:33:14 · answer #4 · answered by Chris B 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
oh, you are so young. why are we rushing into engagements and marriages so soon? I personally think you should wait until he comes back.... if it is a relationship meant to work, whether you have a ring on your finger or not for the next year, you will still be in the same situation, same relationship.... just wait.
2006-12-13 00:29:00 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait for him but then again DONT went thru the same situation with a friend of mines she waited for him 3 years they talked on the phone wrote letters etc..but then the asshole shows up 3 years later married to someone else!! after my friend waited faithfully and patiently for him!! so think about if its worth waitning or not!!
2006-12-13 00:37:35 · answer #6 · answered by Angie 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tend to agree with him on this one. Simply put, from a guy's perspective, he may feel the need to just stay focused on his task at hand. Not that the engagement is not important. I believe he wants to "feel" the engagement and remember it as something special. I don't think he'd see it this way if you guys got engaged before he left.
2006-12-13 00:25:43 · answer #7 · answered by cold runner 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I personally, would be like you and want to be engaged before he left. But at the same time, maybe in his mind, he is not sure if he will definitely come back and feels it would be easier for you to move on if not engaged.
2006-12-13 00:21:49 · answer #8 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
wait . wait makes ur relationship stronger.
and if anything goes wrong that makes u clear with in a year.ur just 19 y u r worried for marriage ?.still more years ahead. enjoy the life
good luck
2006-12-13 00:32:30 · answer #9 · answered by sweety06 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A lot can change with a tour of duty. You may wnat to wait. But if you are both truly deeply in love, perhaps you can communicate to him that you want to be his wife even if something happens to him. Maybe he needs to hear that from you; that you will be with him through thick or thin.
2006-12-13 00:21:24 · answer #10 · answered by meldorhan 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋