My boyfriend gave me an engagement ring tonight. I am 19, and moving home for the wenter holiday from college. When my mom saw it I told her it was a promise ring. We aren't planning on getting married any time soon, but it hurts my fieance that I won't tell my parents, and it hurts me that I know my parents won't approve. What should I do?
2006-12-12 15:16:15 · 19 answers · asked by ? 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
The reason it is so hard to tell my parents is because, when my cousin got engaged at a young age, my mother spread aweful lies about her. I know I am an adult, but my parents support me financially by paying for my tuition. If they knew they would quit paying for my education, which I can not afford on my own, and my mother would most likely spread nasty rumors about me to family and friends. I love my guy, but I don't want to lose my family.
2006-12-12 15:41:13 · update #1
I'm 43, was married to the wrong man for 21 yrs. I am a Christian, I have three girls myself. My parents are very protective of me still. I met someone very special via the internet. We have been in love ever since we first talked and then met. At our ages he still was honorable to ask my Dad for my hand in marriage. Don't be afraid of you parents. And don't be ashamed of someone that make your world bright. It might help if your fiance and you went out with your parents and he asked your Dad for his permission to marry you. He could say no, but if your really in love it won't stop you. I was just married November 26th,2006. I'm so proud of my Husband. If your parents love you they will get used to you growing up. You are a Woman, but a baby to your parents always. I don't know if you know God but if you don't he is there for you. Just ask him into your heart. Make sure your fiance is right. Because one bad mistake can cause a lifetime of pain for the little ones you may bring into the world. And they grow up to be teenagers. I'm there now with my girls and it is very painful to all involved. God bless and let me know you outcome.
Very happily married to the best Man in the world..
C. Bland
2006-12-12 15:32:49 · answer #1 · answered by cathybland2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Keep it as a promise ring, and tell your bf it is one as well. You are wayyyyy tooooo young to get married. advise:
Go to school
Go to school
Get a degree
Get a degree
Get a job
Be a success
If you choose to get married, always have a way to support yourself and any children you may might have by your own efforts!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Don't have children until your marriage is really strong.... realize that it takes $250,000 and the next 20 years of your life to raise a child. consider that before having one.
You can be just as fiercly loyal engaged, not engaged or promised or pledged, makes no difference. It is what is in the heart, hon, not what is on the hand.
2006-12-12 15:30:00 · answer #2 · answered by April 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just have to tell them. It's not fair to anyone if you don't. Say, "Mom, it's not a promise ring, it's an engagment ring. We're not getting married for a good while yet, but we thought promise rings were stupid since we knew it would end in marriage anyway."
But, there is something seriously wrong if you can't tell your parents. Are you sure you're ready to do this?
2006-12-12 15:22:05 · answer #3 · answered by Esma 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Nineteen is a bit young to make a commitment like that.
If you love him and plan on marrying him, though, then just tell them. Explain that the wedding will be in the very distant future, that might give them some relief.
2006-12-12 15:23:45 · answer #4 · answered by amgarrison2006 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are planing on marring this man then you have to tell your parents anyway. You are the one that will have to spend the rest of your life with this man-not your parents. Their opinion matters but when it comes down to it, it's your decision. . I can understand why your fiance will be hurt because it's like you are ashamed of him. You have to know that if you love him, then there must be something good about him and eventually your parents will see that too. So sit them down start off by telling them why you love him and want to spend the rest of your life with him, then tell them that you are engaged and want their blessings. Good luck to you and Congratulations!!!!
2006-12-12 15:45:48 · answer #5 · answered by moks 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell them the truth. Doesn't matter if they approve, its not their life. At 19, you don't need their approval. If this guy is the one you truly want to spend the rest of your life with, this is such a simple request, do it and tell your parents. If you can't do this, then you are not mature enough to be married.
2006-12-12 15:23:53 · answer #6 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be honest with your parents and tell them you are engaged and not planning on getting married anytime soon. Finish schhol and if you have to lie about your relationship then maybe you shouldn't have accepted the engagement.
2006-12-12 15:19:23 · answer #7 · answered by cheoli 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tell your parents the truth.. Tell them that you and him are engaged, but you dont have a date set and arent going to anytime soon. Its best for both of you to tell the truth instead of keeping it. If they get upset they will get over it, i mean you are an adult. GOod luck sweetie
2006-12-12 15:19:25 · answer #8 · answered by munchkin0430 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you love your boyfriend a lot does it really matter what your parents think or say. They have had their life and now it's time for you to have yours. Just tell them so there aren't any problems between you and your boyfriend and also tell them you accept their opinion but it's your life.
2006-12-12 16:54:47 · answer #9 · answered by golden tigress 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should tell your parents, make sure to let them know you are not planning on getting married anytime soon. Your parents have the right to know.
2006-12-12 15:33:37 · answer #10 · answered by Janice 10 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋