My nephew just called a girl at school the C word, Is calling a woman this word worth 5 days suspension?

Question

When school starts next semmester he can't come the first five days. She called him a **** and they did nothng to her

the blocked out word is S p i c

my understanding is that they were talking about the Rio Grande (we live in New Mexico) she told him I guess your people can't come over right now because the river is all dried up, he told her to quit being a C*#T and she told him better a C*#t then a s p i c

My nephew and the girl are both freshmen in highschool

Answer 1

s p i c is worse than c u n t.....

both of them shouldve been suspended. I'd fight it. If they refuse to suspend the girl too I'd send him to school anyways.

Answer 2

Age of Child?
Talk about alternate punishments.

Seek counseling or whatever the school recommends.

Have a plan of action to try to resolve the conflict

If you want the conflict to be resolved without the 5-day suspension the school will need to see that your son understands the seriousness of his of behavior and prove it by not doing it again and working with some other sort of pinishment.
Waiting a bit until you can think through the whole situation mightbe the best.
The kids are the ones that know real stroy and a 5 day suspension at any age should be able to ammneded so that not so much study and class time is lost.

If the school feels that there is no other punishment acceptable then you need to evaluate if this is where the parents want the child to go to school.

Have a group meeting with other Principals etc.

Answer 3

Well first of all that girl should have a worse punishment than your nephew because she is the one who provoked him. But they both should be punished more than a slap on the wrist because the word your nephew called her is just as bad as the word she called him. You know how there's always that one word that's worse than all the other slurs put together? The s word she used, the n word, the f word for gay men, etc etc? Well the c word is it for women.

But I don't believe in using suspension for a situation like this at all.

Instead of handing out punishments that have nothing to do with what actually happened I use consequences. In this case something like:

having each kid do research on the word they used. Then write a paper on the word and why they shouldn't have used it.

writing a paper on why they used the word. What were they feeling at the time. What point were they really trying to get across, and what they should have done instead.

making the kids work together on a group project about something related.

Depending on the age I would assign one, two, or all three things. And if they didn't do whatever consequence was decided on I would have them serve a week of detention, where they could spend that time working on the consequence. Of course most schools don't bother with things like that because it takes more time than just kicking the kid out for a few days.

His parents might want to consider going to the school and talking about both kids getting punishments. That whole "I know what my son did was wrong and he needs to be punished for it, but I know the school also doesn't stand for rascist comments and I was wondering what her consequences are going to be?"

If theyre not going to do anything about it bring it to the next level of administrators.

Answer 4

Well first of all, where did your nephew learn that word? And how did he know to use it as a derogatory term to females? You should really think about his issue before going deeper.
As for the situation, i think it's necessary to meet with the school because then you can have the chance to explain the racist comments said by the girl that prompted your nephews quick and harsh retaliation. even use the substitution method and say that had your nephew been black and the girl called hima "******" there would be a lot of hoopla about it. Even still, calling someone a "****" out of disgust or as a racist intention is not to be accepted in the schoolhouse. And to punish the boy for his comment without punishing the girl for hers, would be showing the kids that racist comments and prejudice treatment of others is acceptable, when in truth, it isn't.

Answer 5

What he could do is write a letter of apology to the school and courtesy copy to the school board. And in the letter, explain her behavior towards him. She had no right treating him the way she did.

Talk to him about being rational next time. He should never use words like that towards anyone, even if they're being jackazzes like she was. Suggest to him to tone it down next time. If he reacts like he did, girls like her are going to keep targetting him to get him riled up every time, just to get a reaction towards getting him suspended again and again...

He should have stood up and said, "Please don't patronize me, I do not like your attitude", or something of that nature. Have him write down everything she says and does, her behavior, not only towards him but other children as well. Make sure he dates it and mentions hwho was present.

It sounds like a human rights issue. The issue does not sound like it's a male/female matter, but rather a race issue.

She had no right using such a derogatory term towards one of him as well. If she's using him as something to laugh at, then she should have been suspended as well.

You can request a meeting with the school, the counsellors, a representative of the school board, a representative of human rights, his parents, and the two kids, and get everything out in the open. Let the authorities know that she provokes him on purpose. If he does nothing, the girl will keep doing what she's doing.

Answer 6

Name calling be it profanity or politically incorrect ie racists is
like a slap and sometimes people react the same as with a
slap. often some violent and hurtful episodes are started by
a little thing. I hope the C word is not what I think it is, if so
it is one of the nastiest things to call a woman. Of course a
racial slur is pretty nasty also; particularly with all the bad press
about the border, etc., it has become very sensitive.

Answer 7

My policy with my kids was to always tell them that sometimes punishments handed out by the school might feel unfair or harsh but since there are plety of times they get away with doing things that they dont get caught for they should just cop it sweet!

Personally I think that your nephew was dealt with a little lightly. I am hoping that when he got home he also got his tail walloped!

NEVER buy into the "he said.... she said" round of amusing commentary by children! Your head will spin. You will lose a sense of gravity. Your hair will fall out. And sooner or later you end up lookin like a donkey!

Quite simply regardless of whether anyone else did anything else or not what your nephew said was rude to the extreme and the punishment is suitable if not a little light.

Don't ever let kids start playing parents off against schools. It is a war that no one wins. Instead simply remind him he must follow school rules while he is at school regardless of other peoples behaviour.

Answer 8

Both the girl and your nephew are wrong. She's ignorant for calling him derogatory names, but he should have remained more calm in the situation. I know it's difficult to just let someone call you names without coming back at them, but he shouldn't have been so...extreme. He could've just called her a b*tch, if he really felt the need to insult her back. But like we've always learned, two wrongs don't make a right. If you're really concerned about it, call the school and see if there's something they'll do to punish the girl.

Answer 9

I don't know what S p i c is?? but yeah, I think the C word is pretty terrible. It can't be said if suspension is deserved or not. I don't like to judge those kinds of things. problem is, it happened. he said it, and now he has to deal with the consequenses. So, I would focus on now, and leave that in the past. I don't think it is worth fighting. You might be able to call up the principle and parents can go in and have a talk, and get it reduced to 2 or 3 days or something.

Answer 10

Both of these kids have issues that need to be addressed, by their parents, teacher, and the counselors at the school. You have the right to go to the local school board and the US Department of Education's website and file a complaint. She should have been diciplined in like manner. Sexual and racial harassment are a violation of civil rights laws.

Answer 11

Well five days suspension is very very long for words. However if she called him a racial name then she needs to be suspended as well. You can fight the fact that your nephew was the only one punished.