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When you're quiet and shy and introverted?

How to make friends when you're quiet and introverted?

I'm in high school and kind of want to get integrated with another group of friends and I know they like me because I'm always nice to them and sometimes get them gifts for their birthdays and holidays but the thing is I am very shy, social anxiety disorder even I think. I think sitting at lunch might help, but the thing is while they like me enough I don't know if because I barely ever talk and I'm shy that they'd ever invite me to do anything with them. Honestly, I'm kind of a boring person (that doesn't bother me at all by the way), I don't have a lot to say, and I don't really want to, but I love just being around them and listening to their conversations, because I really like them, but I worry sometimes they think I don't like them because I don't talk much and they might take shyness/avoidance as unfriendliness. Thats why I buy gifts sometimes. I like buying them anyway, it makes me feel good. I used to have facebook (myspace) to talk them a little more but I got rid of it, couldn't take the stress, and did it without telling them, so I worry that I lost a link to them.

2006-12-12 14:41:53 · 12 answers · asked by leena 4 in Family & Relationships Friends

12 answers

well just like get involved more and just start talking to them more and if ya dont really like em im sure you can find someone you like and who likes you i mean everyone needs some pals to hang with lol!!!!!!!!!!

2006-12-12 14:45:44 · answer #1 · answered by bfscoobydoo22 2 · 0 0

OK honey you need help. Trying to buy friends and that is what you are trying to do if you know it or not, that never works and it is never a good idea. If you have a disorder you need to talk to your doctor about some medication or counceling to help you be able to communitcate better in a social situation. Do not go this alone it is too important a step for you to take. Being shy can force you into a life you do not choose. Get help and have the courage to live your life.

2006-12-12 22:47:34 · answer #2 · answered by CindyLu 7 · 0 0

Everyone feels shy sometimes, but being too shy can hamper many aspects of your life.
Instructions
•STEP 1: Determine why you're shy in the first place. For example, are you scared of what someone might say about your physical appearance? Remember, there's an underlying reason for how you react in situations.
•STEP 2: Act as if you're not shy. In private, behave as if you're oozing confidence. Hold your chin up, stick your chest out, add a swagger to your walk and speak firmly. It may seem ridiculous, but you will see results when you're out in public.
•STEP 3: Practice making eye contact and smiling in your interactions with others. Strike up casual conversations with strangers about weather or current events.
•STEP 4: Look your best. One way to improve self-consciousness is to always look good and limit ways you can be self-critical.
•STEP 5: Lower your fear of rejection by imagining the worst possible outcome. If you approach someone, they may say "no" or they may just walk away. Absolutely everybody has been rejected at some point, but no one has to dwell on it.
•STEP 6: Look and learn. Watching friends or even strangers who aren't shy is a good way to learn some tips first-hand.
•STEP 7: Feel positive about yourself, don't get frustrated and have fun. Remember, the real goal is to find someone who will like you for who you are.

2006-12-12 22:50:02 · answer #3 · answered by Christine 3 · 0 0

I'm a freshman in high school and I am kind of the same way. I think it might help if you tried talking just a little bit more. I'm not saying to change who you are because being quiet is okay, just so that they know you would like to be included too. Good luck :)

2006-12-12 22:45:52 · answer #4 · answered by Sonya 5 · 0 0

First of all realize that your issue is normal and there is nothing wrong with you. For your social anxiety disorder, you could possibly practice conversations on your siblings, if you have them or other family members. Try something new every day so you are always open. One error doesn't equal total failure. Just correct your mistake if you mess up and move on. You can do it! I used to have the same problem... It is possible to overcome.

2006-12-12 22:59:34 · answer #5 · answered by Daniel 2 · 0 0

dont feel guilty about myspace...people think its so real its pretty pathetic. and neways maybe you should just tell them thats how you feel. i know its sounds really scary to do, maybe u can just write a note to the person ur closest to in the group and show them you really care. maybe u can give them a christmas card and say you are a really great friend and im lucky to have you as a friend and ill always be there for you no matter what.

2006-12-12 22:46:03 · answer #6 · answered by freezy 2 · 0 0

well ok to become moree friendly and not shy. u want to be hyper. every kid our age loves to be around hyper people and that just go crazy and really random. and just one day just be with them and start singing and laughing for no reason and just be super duper hyper. then start doing that everyday. thers nothing to be shy of. just go out there and dont care what people think. and ifur making a fool ofurself who cares. people like that trust me. and give alot of hugs tight ones tho and long ones cuz then it shows that ur really friendly and not shy. also u want to get into there convos andask questions. like if there tlaking about a guy just be all who is this guy? or just anything like that. and make convos also. cuz then thats showing u can trust them. GOOD LUCK!

2006-12-12 22:47:34 · answer #7 · answered by jessicacd91 2 · 0 0

hey i was just like that. all i did was go sit at the lunch table and ask if they were my grade. " hi are you a freshman?" i would ask and if they said yes then we would talk and even if they said no we still talked. that's what you want to do. it worked for me hey it may work for you. never know go on ahead and give it a try and good luck. i know you can get friends.

2006-12-12 22:49:03 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

you might look to find some common ground or join the chess club or some other after school group that is to your interest .

2006-12-12 22:47:18 · answer #9 · answered by dogpatch USA 7 · 0 0

Just hang out with them. Laugh when they say something funny, say hi. Just be yourself. I'm sure you'll open up to them.

2006-12-12 22:45:49 · answer #10 · answered by mamabear 6 · 0 0

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