sex or masterbation?

Question

my husband and I have been married for 8yrs, and always had a healthy sex life. The past year it has crashed terribly and I dont know what to think about It. I love sex, and My husband never seems to want it. But the catch is that I know he is masterbating. I find stuff in his underwear, and find that he get into porn. Im not fat and dont want the smart *** comments, Im just curious can a man get addicted to masterbating? I also know he is not cheating, But the masterbating is realy hurting me and im very horny. If I was the cheating kind, I would because I crave sex, but I would never. I have approached him on this and he just ignores me pretty much. I dont think he gets how much it means to me. I feel that sex is a good portion of the relationship. Please give some advise, not mean comments. How do I get him to want sex, and not masterbation?

Answer 1

Chances are he is seeing something in the porn that causes him to fantisize and hence he masterbates. It doesn't mean he doesn't find you attractive, so I wouldn't worry about that. But, perhaps there is something he wants to try and is afraid to ask you, or he's asked and you've said "no" so he gets the "fix" through his porn. If he is masterbating to the porn, he just may not have the energy when you express an interest in sex. There is also a concern that he's become addicted to porn. Yes, I know, sounds weird. But, it it legit. Hundres of thousands of men are addicted to porn and because of it can't engage in a normal, healthy sex life.

You do need to talk to him. Find out why he's lost intrest in sex with you. Find out if he wants to try something new. Ask if he's been actively looking at porn on a daily basis (could be the sign of a problem.) Let him know that he's turning you away is not just hurting your feelings, but your relationship!

And try to suducing your husband! When he comes home from work have take out Chinese laid out on a silk sheet on the floor with candles for an inpromtu sexy, grown-up picnic! And you should be wearing next to nothing! Have dinner with your husband ... and see whatever else may come up (yes, pun intended!) Remind him of what he's missing and see if you can't get that motor of his revving again! It could jump start that sexlife you've been missing! Good luck! =)

Answer 2

I think men that do that all the time get use to having hand pleasure especially as they hit thier late 30's and up. Intercourse does not satisfy them as much anymore. He also is addicted to looking at porn. Do not blame yourself it has nothing to do with you. He just likes looking at all different women while he pleasures himself. He is being selfish actually and probably feels a lot of guilt after he does such an act but has such a need for it he continues to do it over and over again. You could be Cindy Crawford and still he would look at porn. You might want to seek marriage councelling because this is hurting your marriage. It is taking the romance right out of your marriage.

Answer 3

I don't have the answer to getting him to want sex. I am sure, however, that porn can be addicting. Also, most of the sex activity in porn films is degrading and dehumanizing, particularly to the female. Your marriage needs counseling if it is to survive. He may not be able to actually articulate what is going on with him in this area without some fairly deep therapy. Good luck

Answer 4

Men usually get addicted to masturbation but I think there are other reasons why he is not having sex with you. Try this, every time he goes to take a bath get in with him and perform masturbation, then you will have a great chance to get the sex that you are dieing for.

Answer 5

The Bible says that the woman's breast should give the man pleasure and rubbing your wife's breast is a form of masturbation you are playing with them!! I do think that if both partners agree to have toys or to try other positions it is not a sin. Besides God never said have this in this form only (OK well it does have to be between a male and female).

Answer 6

Jerking off all the time can be kind of addicting but there is no reason for him not to want to have sex. You should try motivating him by going oral for a while. Start there and that will get his attention and from there he should be putty in your hands.

Answer 7

Yeah, a man can get addicted to the porn and masturbating, he ends up being in his own little fantasy world. He's really going to have to make up his own mind in the end if he's going to knock that off. You should talk to him and ask him to lay off of it for a week, and see what happens from there.

Answer 8

well a man may still want and like sex.. but he comes home from work and is stressed..or the kids get in the way..or the old lady is b#tching bout something..it's just easier to jack off sometimes...lol or maybe he's bored and you need to rock his world..go do something totally out of character..maybe invite a female friend.. or have some one watch or do it in public or blow him on the way to the grocerie store..whatever you need to do to get his attention..cuz if you don't the relationship will end

Answer 9

Youy don't mention his age... Many men start to have health issues at a certain age. And as a result E.D. can develop. Many men are know to have sexual disfunction as early as 32. It is usually a sign of bigger health issues manifesting. IE diabetes, heart disease etc.

Suggest a trip to the doctor. But do this only after having a long talk with him over your concerns.

Answer 10

there must be something going on to divert him from you. You need to find out what has changed his outlook and why it changed. Perhaps counciling is in order too. Both men and women masterbate even though they are happily married but it doesn't or shouldn't take the place of a happy union. there is some reason dear and you need to ferret it out.