is it fair to tell a black person that they're acting white?

Question

yeah, i live in a predomonitnely white town. most of my friends are white and the black friends i do have(my best friend is black) are also mostly friends with white people. people are ALWAYS telling my that i act white. it hurts more than anybody might think it does. i don't understand why. most of my friends are white yeah, but my 2 BEST friends are black. is it because i speak proper english. because i don't wear enyce and baby phat? because i don't listen to a lot of rap music? is that it?
because i believe that to be completely unfair. i know more about the history of my people then my accusers would dream to know. i chose to wear my hair in a natural style instead of getting it pressed like a white girl's. i want to escape the negative stereotyping instead of succumb to it. i'm just the way i am and why do people have such a problem with that?

look maybe i wasn't clear
my friends aren't the only people telling me i act white, in fact it's mostly people im not really friends with.

look again, not making my point clear
im saying that it's not fair that those are the reasons ppl accuse me of being white. it says how little they think of black people. i don't think all black people are like that. im sorry i came off that way, but that's not what i meant. and im not looking for confirmation im looking for an ANSWER!

Answer 1

All that you said gives you your answer. I can remember being told that I "talk White". Wasn't quite sure what it meant; my dad explained that because I speak proper English, is what some Blacks will interpret this as talking White. My parents, Black professionals, taught me the importance of correct grammar, as well as physical presentation. After that, when someone would say I talk White, I would ask them "what does that mean" or "why, because I speak proper English"? That would usually be the end of the conversation.
Just continue to be who you are and try to ignore those ignorant comments. You will go much further than they will.
Also, this applies to all races. If you look like a thug, people will think you are a thug, no matter what color. Can you see Emminem as a CEO at a Fortune 500 company? Not very likely!

Answer 2

This has to be false if your talking about the people who are truly considered white here. I've seen obvious mixes mark themselves as white. Sometimes even pale Hispanics are marked white. Maybe that's why its so high? Most people stick within their own race, though. I can trace every ancestor (fourth/fifth great grandparents on one side) migrating here from Germany and France. Our community is made up of many of the same, and we tend to stick together and marry together. While many of us are European mutts we have not crossed into non white races. I have seen mixed children more and more, but anyone with family pride will teach their children to keep it within their own race. And any white I've known that has had DNA tests have not had black ancestors. One had a little Native American blood, pretty much already bred out of him. Maybe the mixing differs by area? My area is 95%+ white, as was the area my family settled in after immigrating here. I think it's funny that you don't believe that White Americans can't mix with Native Americans. C'mon now! Even when whites kill the **** out of them they still can't resist our blonde hair and blue eyes. Really I think there would be more native/whites mixes than black/white mixes. As blacks are much more hated everywhere and Natives are more tolerable to some.

Answer 3

that's their unfortunate ignorance.....because what they're telling you is....because you display intelligence...because you don't follow what people stereotype black men and women to be, this urban, gangsta, ghetto, african pride, whatever you can associate to a 'black' person, that you're white?

Hence they're making themselves look stupid by insulting their own race.....and giving white people props because unless you're proper and upstanding and talk with supposedly 'proper' english (i'm sorry but there is no such thing as 'proper' english, language constantly evolves even to this day, so because you have a southern accent doesn't make you ignorant or without 'etiquette').

You are who you are, if it somehow can be stereotyped well that's their ignorance assumption. People will always be stereotyped it seems because when people look at you and your actions the only way to relate to someone they don't know is to put a comparison to someone or something else, rather than accept it for face value. So BECAUSE in their eyes you relate to a white person, that's the best comparison they have, and hence will judge you based on that foolish assumption.

Trust me if it wasn't about you 'acting' white...it'd probably be something else....unfortunately it's how the world works, so all you can do is show empathy for the ignorance and worry about YOU!

that's my 2 cents.

Answer 4

It is sad that this type of profiling still goes on amongst blacks. I had thought we had gone past all of that. I too suffered the same fate when I was in my teens, and that was so long ago that I was alarmed at your question. I was a great student, athlete, I sang in the school choir, lived in a predominately white town, had a lot of white friends. The few black friends I had at that time were the ones using that tag on me. Well now it has been many years since and I have been successful in my life and I own my own business. I went to college on scholarships and have 2 masters degrees. Those old friends of mine, lets see, one is dead, 2 of them are homeless crack addicts and the others have always had very menial jobs. Now from time to time when I see and talk to them, they sometimes say they could have been more like me when I was younger. You have your whole life ahead of you and I have no doubt that you will be successful in whatever you pursue. Whenever they give you a hard time, just smile and know that you have a great future ahead of you and that unfortunately they will be left behind.

Answer 5

There are so many stereotypes of black and white people in this world its not even funny. Throughout middle school and high school I was told that I act like a white girl many of times. I guess because people think that black people talk with slang and that none of us have any intelligence. I'm sorry if my mother raised me to not use cuss words or say the "N" word. In my opinion I think its disgusting to hear a woman curse or even say the "N" word. I mean you have to grow up sometime and want to talk with some class..no matter white or black. I also don't wear the name brand clothes..I try not to buy $50 jeans that I might wear a few times. I like all types of music. Rap music is okay but these rappers are just rapping about women doing sexual favors for them or materialistic things that shouldn't be that important. I feel that these rappers are downgrading us women too. But also the women in the videos should have enough respect for themselves to not portray themselves as ho@#.
So don't feel bad about how people view you. They are the ones that have a problem with how you carry yourself and thats their problem. I don't understand why its about to be 2007 and it seems like we still have a long way to go before race won't be an issue. Just be proud of who you are because I'm proud of how my mother raised me. To have respect for yourself and act like you have some class.

Answer 6

When we are raised in a predominately white part of town, immersed in white culture, we pick up on the mannerisms of white people. Our gestures and mannerisms, speech patterns and even our thought process can begin to mimic that of those whom we spend most of our time with. And I am sure that you, my sister, are able to go into any group of white people and feel comfortable around them. On the other hand, how do you feel when you go into a group of black people?
(Family excluded) Sometimes we lose the ability to relate to our own people. We feel as if they, our people, are alienating us when sometimes it is we who alienate them. You say that you don't wear enyce or baby phat and you don't listen to a lot of "rap" music... I would ask you how you feel about those who do? How do your friends feel about them.

If you are around predominately white people than it is natural for you to pick up on their mannerism. it's that simple. Don't let it hurt your feelings. Accept it or change it.

To answer your question, I think it is fair if it is true.

Answer 7

Who are you addressing this question to - white people or black people as you will get very different responses from different races.. ?

I don't mean to be rude but if a person comes onto a website saying that people accuse them of "acting white" then it is usually because they are looking for positive affirmation [from white people] that the behaviour of other Black people is unreasonable... this question therefore is best addressed to Black people as they are after all the ones whose attitude you are most affected by..

... When all is said and done, I don't think that Black people need another stick to be beaten with on this website particularly from one of their own people... this should be a question addressed to black people on Black forums to garner a response from them as to why they feel that your non-conformance is "selling out" or whatever...

Answer 8

As it were, I went through the exact same thing when I was growing up. I spoke (and still do speak) proper English, plus most of the torture I endured was from inner-city kids who I was also more intelligent than. Add to that a very "white" surname (mine dates back to 10th century England) and lighter skin than the rest of my classmates, and you can imagine some of the hell I went through.

All that was sixteen, seventeen years ago. Fast forward to today: I'm on a stable career path, doing a job that I love, and starting my own family. Those same kids that picked on me in grade school probably never left the blocks they lived on. Of couse, I could always be wrong, but I doubt it.

I still don't listen to a lot of rap music (I prefer my music to have more substance that b!tche$, money, guns and drugs; that's why I listen to rock and metal), and just do things my own way in general.

The one thing I would advise you to do is to just keep on being yourself. People are going to have their opinions regardless; some may be worth holding in consideration, others not so much. The only thing that should change your decision to do that is if you don't like yourself.

Answer 9

In the same vein, how do you feel about white boys who try to act "gansta"? Maybe your friends say you "act white" because you're not all over them about slavery (all of the slave masters are dead and gone, why are we still paying for what they did?) or making excuses for your personal short-comings (we all have them) and blaming "whitey" for them. If it really hurts you, say so. True friends will understand and stop. Those who aren't true friends will take offense.

Answer 10

I don't know what they mean because I don't know them.

I only say that if I'm trying to insult someone...and I leave out the word, "acting". In his case, I called him that because he was controlling, intolerant and judgemental. Anyone who acts like there is only one right way of getting things done and that there is one correct way to live life, gets called white by me.