I was adopted as a 3 month baby but have no desire or curiosity to find my biological parents or to even go back to the country in which i was born. Many people find this odd or like im hiding my true feelings. Has anyone been adopted and felt the same? Or found their bio parents but felt no connection or been disappointed?
2006-12-12 13:33:22 · 20 answers · asked by WomanSoHeartless 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
well, i don't think it's that odd. you have no frame of reference, other than the family you were raised in. i have an adopted son and i made an agreement with his bio-mom that she could contact him anytime she wanted while he was growing up...she never did. he doesn't have much of a desire to meet her, but has wondered about his bio family history, which i've been able to tell him. it seemed to satisfy his curiosity.
2006-12-12 13:46:39 · answer #1 · answered by pirate00girl 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This is such a personal choice, no right or wrong here. I am now 51 years of age; I was adopted at birth. The people I call mom and dad are just that my mom and dad. They are the ones that shared love with me, that I was able to depend on etc. A parent is not the person that births you, the parent is the one that loves you. The relationship with my parents has always been solid. Yet, there was desire on my part to find out the why. My parents had no problem with this. I found my biological mother about 6 months too late. She had passed away. However the true blessing was I became united with my full biological brother, my half sister and half brother. I shared the adoption papers with them to prove I was Rosies biological daughter. That I meant no harm, wanted nothing other than to honestly thank her for giving me life and how great my life has been. Yes a kind sweet humble thank you. This was now 10 years ago. The relationship I have with my siblings is like we did not miss a beat. We are all loving giving respectful open humans. We do not dwell at all on the why only on the now. Subsequently, my full bioligical brother was able ot direct me the my biological father. Who by the way I never cared to meet. He told me what a complete utter a== this man was. Well I wrote him . . . and I got a call from one of his other 17 children lol stating he is man with no feeling for anyone and they thought I should know that I was so better off without him. I thanked her as well. So as you can see I had it both ways. For me the right thing is the unity I have with my 2 brothers and sister. My parents by the way have met them, we ate dinner together laughed and had an awesome time. My parents never were a minute worried for they knew my strong feelings and honesty is they are my parents . . . there is no question! Good Luck with your future and no matter what you feel always remember they are your feelings, you own them and your right to have. Adoption is a gift and sincere gift no matter the up front circumstances. We are wanted children always remember that.
2006-12-12 13:42:17 · answer #2 · answered by chattylady47150 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was adopted into a white Family as a baby. My Mom and Dad have since passed on, but they were the greatest!! These two people are MY Mom and Dad, because they "Sacrificed" for me, Loved me, Cared for me. About a year before my Mom passed away, my biological Sister found me and put me in touch with the rest of my biological Family. I know that I am the First Born Son to the Tribal Shaman and the last full blooded member of my Long Biological Family.
This does not mean that my Adopted Family is no longer important to me, but growing up with people wondering "What" I am, was difficult. At least I have an answer now. I use my adopted name, I live as an Indian, because this is what I am, I don't know how to be anything else.
"Life is simple.......WE complicate it."
2006-12-12 19:43:47 · answer #3 · answered by dontwobears@sbcglobal.net 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am adopted. I found both of my birthparents. Disappointed in both. My birthmother (yes, I tried to have a relationship) turned out to be so needy that I felt like the parent around her. My birth father is an alcoholic. I have nothing to do with either of them. On the other hand, I have a great sister, nieces and a nephew as well as a great Aunt and Uncle and lots of cousins whom I adore. Just because you find your birth family, doesn't mean you have to have a relationship with them. My brother on the other hand is like you. He is adopted also, but has no desire to find his birth parents. Every one is different.
2006-12-12 13:39:33 · answer #4 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Me and my brother are both adopted from different biological parents... we have always known we were special children and that we were adopted... i found that i always had the urge to trace my natural mother... and did!!! my brother however has no urge at all to trace as in his eyes his parents are his parents...
Every adopted child feels different i supose its down to curriosity...
My advise to you is... do what you want... its not going to change the fact that you are who you are!!!
Just remember one thing though... your adopted parents are special people to give the love that they give you and in most cases have tried repeadadly to have a child of there own... just remember you are lucky and wanted after all you were chosen... most people dont get the chance of that kind of love...
Hope things with you are well... take care hon...
2006-12-12 22:38:46 · answer #5 · answered by Cat ( " , ) 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My identical twin brother and I were adopted as babies.Although the two people that raised us are now dead I have no desire to find my biological parents.
2006-12-12 19:59:09 · answer #6 · answered by David J 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
most people just want to know where they came from and why they were given up, most don't start looking until their adoptive parents have passed on. In your case it was obviously the right decision, as you are happy with who you are and the parents you have, people who put their children up for adoption never do so lightly and regret it for the rest of their lives.
2006-12-12 14:14:07 · answer #7 · answered by what? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Our son is adopted. His mother was a drug addict. His dad was a drug dealer. She died on the streets when he turned age 4. He went back to Columbia when the authorities were looking to arrest him.
We SAVED him from a terrible life. He has no regrets and no desire to find out anything about his birth parents.
But he is a GUY. Girls ALWAYS want to know all about their birthparents and go find them.
2006-12-12 13:50:57 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I wasn't adopted,, but look at it this way Your parents got to choose you!! And from the looks of it you sound pretty okay with that!! Just be thankful your biological parents had the gumption to give you up so you could be picked!!
2006-12-12 13:36:26 · answer #9 · answered by kitkatish1962 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
my cousins were adopted. One feels the same way as you, the other went looking for her birth mother.
It depends on the individual and also I think on your upbinging. I think if you have a happy childhood then you are less likly to want to find your biological parents.
2006-12-12 14:23:44 · answer #10 · answered by sashs.geo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋