OK, my opinion you can love someone and hurt them, not because you choose to but because you are human ergo prone to make mistakes against better judgement, or sometimes people just don't know how to love for whatever reason (abused childhood, or victimized etc.). Love is perfect but WE as people are not, therefore we will hurt the ones we truly love, but it's how we try to fix it is what builds on that love.
Next opionion, For a person to truly love you they will not betray you or hurt you and are trustworthy. However if they don't respect you enough to be true to you than they really never loved you. The simple reason is with out trust there can be no love. Here is the way it works. Trust builds respect, respect builds love. Tare down trust you lose respect, you lose respect love dies. Love brings out the best in all of us.
So tell me Yahoo Answers forum, which do you agree with mine or the "other". Thanks.
2006-12-12 13:32:44 · 10 answers · asked by Completly in love... 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Also feel free to elaborate on your answer, I'd like to know your thoughts behind your decision, thanks :)
2006-12-12 13:36:35 · update #1
Thanks Peace, this is the 2nd question, I've seen you answer and both very well put!!!
2006-12-12 13:43:10 · update #2
I completely agree with yours. Love is perfect. We are not. There isn't one amongst us that will not fall prone to making mistakes in judgement due to stress or other circumstances in life. Perfect love is not love where hurt does not happen, it is love where hurt happens and we do all we can to fix it. It's an unevolved viewpoint to think a person that loves you can never hurt you, because when stress comes down, the first person you will hurt is most likely the one you love the most, and because they love you, they will look further than the action and try to understand it and help you through it, which will make your love stronger.
2006-12-12 13:39:46 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
I prefer to agree with the "other" opinion, but I feel you have the right to love the way you want to, and therefore cannot disagree with your opinion either. We all don't show love the same way right? And love is so simple yet so complex that it takes both out heart and brain to work in unison because sometimes one or the other wants a break!
If someone loves you, they will do all they can to do things that will not hurt you(I always take a good example by parental love... that's usually unconditional!). Lying to keep you from the truth that might hurt etc, but also doing things they feel is best for you.
If you are talking about being a couple, no one should come between that love, you're a team and playing for any other side is not exactly team work! Team work makes the dream work!
2006-12-12 21:52:12 · answer #2 · answered by January Flower 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't agree with either of them... I feel once you tell someone that you love then that give them the right to walk all over you... and as far as trust goes you have to earn it to recieve it... I don't know any strangers who I trust... do you.. and everyone you meet (boy friend meterial) to start with is a stranger.. best way to find out what a prospect of a mate is going to be like... Be a friend first..Watch how that person act around other females and keep a close look on the persons family... because if it is a guy you will see that he will be mostly like thier dad and if it is a female she will be mostly like thier mom... Sad but true...
Never tell a guy you love them until a year later.. If the guy is still around after a year and he treats you good then he is a keeper... Love doesn't not happen over night. It takes sometimes years.
lust happens over night... love is not the stars in your eyes and stomach aches it is the making it thougth the bad things and staying together no matter how bad life gets... and if someone love you they will not hurt you by cheating on you and putting you last pryority.. they will think about your feeling before their own.. and they will be themselves around you... (now that is scary.) Trust again is earned.... it is not a given...
2006-12-12 21:42:59 · answer #3 · answered by Autumns Destany 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First opinion...
If a person said this to me of their partner, I would ask, "Ok, what sin of Tom/Dick/Harry are you trying to cover up? What did he do"? I think that it doesn't matter if they learned how to love or not. If you are with a person with no empathy (the ability to put themselves in another's shoes) then you'd be a dummy to think anything other than he would hurt you. NO ONE needs to be with that kind of person, and if that person (the abusive one) were wise, they wouldn't date or marry at all. How unfair is it of them to ask, "Hey I don't know HOW to love, but um be in a "loving" relationship with me". How silly is that. And considering love and empathy is required for anyone to change for another....you'd be barking up the wrong tree with a person like that.
Next opinion...
You can love and hurt...it's just what do you love MORE? If a person is a rage-aholic, they love that rage and anger more than you. That's no basis for a relationship. Like a drunk who is "nice when he's NOT drinking", it doesn't matter, he loves the booze more than his wife. Can a woman be truly happy when a husband loves anything more than her? no. Whether it is his anger or booze or drugs or another woman. His wife must be the thing he cherishes over all other things.
2006-12-12 21:50:36 · answer #4 · answered by sheepinarowboat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I believe if you have personal issues you should see a therapist and work on fixing them BEFORE you get involved with someone.
Why bring someone into your mess?
If you truly love someone you don't hurt them....you only want the best for them.
I have a problem with both of these opinions.
2006-12-12 21:45:53 · answer #5 · answered by daljack -a girl 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Both are true. We are all human and will make mistakes and how we learn from them governs who we are and how others see us, and it's also true that you can take a perfect love and beat the sh*t out of it, and it will turn against you. '
The opposite of love is not hate...it is indifference. Hate is thwarted love.
2006-12-12 21:41:05 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
human nature to doubt any situation, second opinion sounds more plausible,,
but love like anything else, is flawed by human nature
2006-12-12 21:37:16 · answer #7 · answered by rich2481 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First one. Second opinion is crap.
2006-12-12 21:35:41 · answer #8 · answered by eharrah1 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yak, yak, yak!!!
2006-12-12 21:43:51 · answer #9 · answered by canada4me 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
the other ....sorry
2006-12-12 21:36:17 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋